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A good old joke for ya!!!
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| ghetto_fab |
I wanna see some good old jokes!!! heres one for ya
80yr old virgin
There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.
The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said "Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin".
The doctor checks her out and says "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies. |
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| TranceGrooves |
| this guy and gurl r doin the 69, u know she is suckin him and he is eatin her. all of a sudden she starts havin her period so the d00d gets blood all over his mouth and she goes oh baby dont stop keep going. so the dood keeps munching. door bell rings and the chick goes oh u have to get that. d00d goes w0t am i gonna say. the chic goes just say u were eating a jelly sandwich. so the d00d opens the door and his buddy is there. buddy goes man w0t happened. d00d goes oh i was just eatin a jelly sandwich. buddy goes i see that but how did u get "PEANUT BUTTER" on yer forehead. |
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| Stingray |
| ^^Oh Tyler you sick ! |
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| Jer. |
So a farmer walks into the house with a duck underneath his arm.
He looks to his wife and says 'This is the Pig I've been ing.'
She says to him 'You silly , that's a Duck!'
He says to her 'I was talking to the Duck.' |
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| ghetto_fab |
A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "Well", says the quack, "Tell me about your average day". "Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work".
"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on", said the man,"...you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No you don't", said our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom".
"Oh....now I see", said the quack. "No no no", he said. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of and we nip out the back for a quickie".
"Now I understand", said the patient doctor. "No, hang on", said the bloke. "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack".
Ahh....", said the doctor, "now I see..". "No, there's more", said our man, "when I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards".
"What's your problem?". asked the doc. "Well...", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate" |
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| Tygon |
Bad Date
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face." |
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