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People from Toronto are weird
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| malek |
I found this very intresting to read... and maybe you guys could answer this, why are Torontians proud Torontians and Canadian but not Ontarian?
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/Co...d=1128767196805
People from Toronto are weird
So what's wrong with two solitudes anyway?
FRANCIS CHALIFOUR
SPECIAL TO THE STAR
The time of the "two solitudes" that for too long described the character of this country is past. The narrow notion of "every person for himself" does not belong in today's world, which demands that we learn to see beyond our wounds, beyond our differences for the good of all. Quite the contrary: We must eliminate the spectre of all the solitudes and promote solidarity among all the citizens who make up the Canada of today.
— Governor General Michaëlle Jean, in her acceptance speech
I remember when I met an Ontarian for the first time. I was 9. It was Christmastime in Montreal, and I will never forget how my mom whispered to me, "She's from Scarborough, Ontario. Don't be afraid. You can talk to her." The Ontarian was my cousin's new girlfriend. The last time I recalled having this feeling, my family and I were at the zoo and I was forced to pet a llama to show them how brave I was.
Then I grew up, and at the age of 23, since I couldn't find work in Montreal, I moved to Toronto — a city that people in Quebec pronounce as Canada anglais.
Ontario comes from a native word, loosely translated as "beautiful" or "sparkling water" or "lake" or whatever you want, as long as it's "The Centre of the World."
Ontario is more than just Toronto, of course. It's also Ottawa, Niagara Falls, North Bay, Sudbury, Hamilton, and a lot of other adorable little towns, but who cares, right? Let's talk about Toronto, the mega-city where everyone eventually ends up some day, whether they feel like it or not.
What exactly is an Ontarian from a Torontonian's perspective?
He or she would politely answer, "Sorry, I don't know." But if you insisted, they would probably answer that Ontarians are people who have always been — geographically and psychologically — the centre of this country, the most industrialized and multi-ethnic population in Canada; compromisers; better yet, "bridge builders" who see themselves as citizens of the world. But, most of all, the "essence" of Canada.
But from the Quebec perspective, what exactly is an Ontarian? If I wanted to be pragmatic, I would say he is powerful, rich, and has had the final decision in all national elections since the Bloc Québécois arrived in Ottawa. But I don't want to say that, so I'll say this:
For God's sake, why can't I buy beer or wine at the corner store?
From a Quebec point of view, it doesn't make any sense: Alcohol should be considered as basic and essential as milk.
Another thing: Where do you, the people of Ontario, hide your provincial flags? All we see from the long and monotonous 401 is Canadian flags. Aren't you proud of being Ontarians? Think about all the good things you brought to our country: Timbits, insulin, Pablum, Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Paul Martin (okay, no province can be perfect, after all), Lorne Michaels, Mike Myers, Norman Jewison, and Anne Murray. Yes, Anne is from Nova Scotia, but she looks so much like a soccer mom that we can pretend she's from Mississauga.
Seriously, Ontarians should be proud of their province — a place to stand, a place to grow — even though there's a huge lack of imagination in your street naming. What is the point of Avenue Road? Why not Avenueroad Street, or even Avenueroadstreet Blvd.? Show some more originality. We understand it's not your fault that your province is shaped like an awfully happy whale; neither is it your fault that a former mayor of your now 500-km-radius-absorbing city called the army when he saw one or two snowflakes falling from the sky. But still, we are your neighbours and it's kind of embarrassing, you know. You should have called us. We would have sent our dear Bonhomme Carnaval — much more efficient than the army, less expensive, and so reliable.
There is something very important that Ontarians should know about Quebecers, and I'm not talking about the fact that we like to whine a lot, drink Pepsi, eat Jos Louis, or believe Celine Dion to be our Queen.
No, I'm talking about the fact that we love to make jokes about you.
Did you hear what happened to the Ontarian who went ice fishing? He got run over by the Zamboni.
It's not that we don't like you. Of course not. We like you a lot, even if we remember the British Conquest of 1759 and are still looking for a rematch. Just kidding — even though there is truth in every joke.
It's more the way you dress — wearing socks in sandals in Quebec is not only against the law but is also decadent and immoral. Never do that again if you cross the Ottawa River. Perhaps we speak French, but we are not blind — we can see those socks!
Nor are we deaf. What is the point of saying "Sorry" all the time when you come and visit us? Just admit the fact that we run faster, swim better, and kiss deeper than you. It's okay not to be the best all the time. We accept you the way you are, even if your French accent is pretty terrible.
After all, aren't we part of the same, big, confederated family? You will always be our cherished Ontario — the brother-in-law who likes to show how rich, powerful, and better he is. But that's okay. No family is perfect. I mean, take a look down south: Who would like to have Texas as a mother-in-law (if we forget Alberta, obviously)?
And I'll admit it — we are a tiny bit jealous of you, especially since many of our Montreal head offices moved to Toronto.
Some people call this a rivalry, while others talk about solitudes. I think the two solitudes still exist, and will for a very long time, because it is a comfortable zone to be in. It's like neighbours who don't really know each other and don't bother to because they don't have to; they say "Hi" once in a while and talk about the weather or joke about the Canadian Tire TV commercials, but that's it.
Who in Ontario cared about Michaëlle Jean before she was appointed governor general? Right. Same thing with Adrienne Clarkson — who had heard of her in Quebec before 1999?
If we really want to build bridges between our provinces, no offence, but it will take more than a good-looking G-G. It's nice to show two little mermaids blowing conch shells on a coat of arms and tell people that the time of the "'two solitudes" is past, but let's keep in mind that Quebec's motto has changed from "La belle province" to "Je me souviens" — meaning that we don't forget things so easily, especially those socks in sandals.
Francis Chalifour is a Toronto writer whose work has appeared in The Walrus, Maclean's, Le Devoir and La Presse. His novel "After" is being published this month by McClelland & Stewart/Tundra.[/QUOTE] |
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| EvilTree |
| Don't you know? Toronto = Ontario = Canada. There's no need to identify self as Ontarian. All other places are... minor details. :toothless |
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| Cosmic Fur |
| I tried to get the point of the article, but I really couldn't. Was she trying to make me feel worse as an Ontario/Toronto resident? Cause she definitely failed at that. |
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| malek |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cosmic Fur
I tried to get the point of the article, but I really couldn't. Was she trying to make me feel worse as an Ontario/Toronto resident? Cause she definitely failed at that. |
its called sarcasm, you obviously didn't get it.
the point is why aren't Torontians proud to (or show) be Ontarians.
and its a he :p |
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| Cosmic Fur |
| quote: | Originally posted by malek
its called sarcasm, you obviously didn't get it.
the point is why aren't Torontians proud to (or show) be Ontarians.
and its a he :p |
Obviously the Frenchies need to work on their sarcasm skills.
And OMG he writes like a woman. Way to live up the the stereotype. |
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| malek |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cosmic Fur
Obviously the Frenchies need to work on their sarcasm skills.
And OMG he writes like a woman. Way to live up the the stereotype. |
here we go:p |
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| amb_ |
This article made me giggle, mainly because there is some truth to the jokes the writer makes.
Thanks for that, Malek. :) |
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| Pettiscool |
what the hell is an ontario?
maybe like a northern version of a redneck hick? |
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| Brutal |
| quote: | Originally posted by Pettiscool
what the hell is an ontario?
maybe like a northern version of a redneck hick? |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| dEsidEL |
[corolo=wjhite[
AHWATT!?!!!!!!!!!!
fin gmaltiek .. mtha ggggng1aaaaaaaaaa1111111111!!!!
[/color] |
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| Spam |
Neat little article :)
But I agree he DOES write like a woman... whatever that really means, I'm not sure, but I was picturing a woman as I read that.
I think a male writer woulda leaned more to the satire end of the spectrum rather than the blunt sarcasm. |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| I know what you all mean by writing like a woman. I was picturing some middle age house wife sitting infront of her Oprah and eating Cheesies. |
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