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i'm going to cheat on my girlfriend . . . (pg. 2)
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| wizniz |
dude just break up with her 12 hours before you get with another girl.
thats what i did.
that way you dont cheat and break her heart w/ infidelity.
except be very strategic.
lets just be friends is great!
ps. i didnt plan cheating... and i broke up w/ her for other reasons... |
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| Jason Donavon |
| quote: | Originally posted by Pariah Cleric
Almost funny. Keep trying. |
Almost as hilarious as your witty name mate. |
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| Mr. Pink |
just wing it, slut!
there's no guidebook to cheating, ya damn nerd.
:stongue: |
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| Tranc3 |
1) Assemble an array of convincing alibies and witnesses to explain your frequent disappearances.
Telling your partner "I have to work late" will only get you so far. Enlist the help of a friend or colleague, and have them "invite" you to a reception or sports event, or call with an "emergency." Create a false trail of evidence by having them leave messages on your answering machine that your partner will hear.
2) Do not make multiple, obvious changes to your lifestyle.
Do not alter the way you dress or the foods you eat all at once. This will tip off your partner that something has changed.
3) Do not discuss topics you previously knew nothing about.
If your lover has encouraged you to become interested in sports or cooking or opera or other topics you never cared about, do not suddenly start talking about them with your partner, who may wonder - or ask - how you knew that.
4) Do not change all your sexual habits at once.
An affair might make you more sexually adventurous, but do not try too many new things at once with your partner.
5) Never leave for work wearing one outfit and return wearing another.
Keep a change of clothing in your car or at your office and wear that outfit with your lover. Afterward, chjange back into the clothing you wore when you left home. This will help avoid evidence of your indiscretions (e.g. lipstick, cologne or perfume, or inappropirate wrinkles). Make sure that you do the laundry that contains your "affair" clothing.
6) Take a shower to remove the scent of the affair.
Bathing is especially necessary if you have been in a smoky bar, if your lover wears strong aftershave or perfume, or if you have a dog waiting at home.
7) Never call your partner from a hotel or motel phone, or from a restaurant.
Use your cell phone only - caller ID may reveal your whereabouts.
8) Pay bills in cash only.
Never use a credit card to charge meals, hotels, or day trips. Your partner will probably notice the increase in spending or find the charge slip. Make sure you have enough cash before you head off to your rendezvous; cash machine usage is traceable as well.
9) Drive in a separate car from your lover.
Should there be an accident or a police incident, there will not be any official record of another passenger in the car with you. There will also be no unintentional physical traces - adjusted seat, forgotten scarf - of the passenger.
10) Do not go to fancy or popular restaurants with your lover.
Out-of-the-way places are best; you are less likely to be spotted by friends of your partner. Places just out of town are even better. Room service in a hotel is very private.
-excerpt from The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: DATING & SEX
There is a section on what to do if you get caught, but I think I've freely given away enough of the book - if you like it go buy it. No, I don't work for them in any way, shape or form, and have no connections to them of which I am aware. |
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| Orbital32 |
| actually there one point that's invalid. Never use your cell phone. it WILL reveal your whereabouts. caller id or not. |
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| koky69 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Tranc3
1) Assemble an array of convincing alibies and witnesses to explain your frequent disappearances.
Telling your partner "I have to work late" will only get you so far. Enlist the help of a friend or colleague, and have them "invite" you to a reception or sports event, or call with an "emergency." Create a false trail of evidence by having them leave messages on your answering machine that your partner will hear.
2) Do not make multiple, obvious changes to your lifestyle.
Do not alter the way you dress or the foods you eat all at once. This will tip off your partner that something has changed.
3) Do not discuss topics you previously knew nothing about.
If your lover has encouraged you to become interested in sports or cooking or opera or other topics you never cared about, do not suddenly start talking about them with your partner, who may wonder - or ask - how you knew that.
4) Do not change all your sexual habits at once.
An affair might make you more sexually adventurous, but do not try too many new things at once with your partner.
5) Never leave for work wearing one outfit and return wearing another.
Keep a change of clothing in your car or at your office and wear that outfit with your lover. Afterward, chjange back into the clothing you wore when you left home. This will help avoid evidence of your indiscretions (e.g. lipstick, cologne or perfume, or inappropirate wrinkles). Make sure that you do the laundry that contains your "affair" clothing.
6) Take a shower to remove the scent of the affair.
Bathing is especially necessary if you have been in a smoky bar, if your lover wears strong aftershave or perfume, or if you have a dog waiting at home.
7) Never call your partner from a hotel or motel phone, or from a restaurant.
Use your cell phone only - caller ID may reveal your whereabouts.
8) Pay bills in cash only.
Never use a credit card to charge meals, hotels, or day trips. Your partner will probably notice the increase in spending or find the charge slip. Make sure you have enough cash before you head off to your rendezvous; cash machine usage is traceable as well.
9) Drive in a separate car from your lover.
Should there be an accident or a police incident, there will not be any official record of another passenger in the car with you. There will also be no unintentional physical traces - adjusted seat, forgotten scarf - of the passenger.
10) Do not go to fancy or popular restaurants with your lover.
Out-of-the-way places are best; you are less likely to be spotted by friends of your partner. Places just out of town are even better. Room service in a hotel is very private.
-excerpt from The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: DATING & SEX
There is a section on what to do if you get caught, but I think I've freely given away enough of the book - if you like it go buy it. No, I don't work for them in any way, shape or form, and have no connections to them of which I am aware. |
wow thanks !! i think imma go cheat on my gf now as well !! you are awsome dude :cool: |
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| igottaknow |
| remember to wash your face afterwards, gfs can smell another girls juice a mile away :wtf: |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| Here's a tip: you need to not be dating your girlfriend any more. |
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| ierxium |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbital32
You have to keep it real:
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A
Now that's a man's code. |
Sir, my control does not have an A nor a B. |
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| Tranc3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbital32
actually there one point that's invalid. Never use your cell phone. it WILL reveal your whereabouts. caller id or not. |
How so? |
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| Demoted |
Ask for the menage au tois (sp?).
Covers all bases. But only discuss with your girlfriend. That way the person you're going to cheat with doesn't think you're a freak.
Ahhh, another slight Seinfeld reference. |
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| sigmanova |
| quote: | Originally posted by DarkAngel
Quality is something this thread lacks... |
it also lacks pics. :wtf: |
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