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Chuck Norris Chatlogs
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| RapidFire |
a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine decided itd be funny if he went into my email and messed with my contacts. so he sent a bogus email to one of them. fair play. My cousin and I decided to return the favour today. my cousin told me his password and we were on our way.
I just wanted to around with his MSN abit (you know block a few people, piss some off) but as me and my cousin were reading up on those Badass Chuck Norris posts earlier today I couldnt help but bring out the inner Chuck in me. What ensued were some funny ass convos. I dunno, I was on a Chuck high all of a sudden.
anyway enough rambling. heres a transcript I managed to get from one of the convos. at least two other ones were just as funny if not funnier so ill hunt those down tomorrow. and dont feel guilty for reading, bastard deserved it. enjoy :D
im 'Dont with CHUCK' by the way. Just randomly contacted peeps pretending to be Norris. :wtf:
Don't read if youre easily offended by gay, religious and asian jokes
Dont with CHUCK says:
have a very chuck norris day
justin says:
yeh sure
Dont with CHUCK says:
be sure to beat someone less in the name of chuck norris
justin says:
ok
Dont with CHUCK says:
swear it
Dont with CHUCK says:
on your unborn child!
justin says:
im not planning on having kids
justin says:
and who the is chuck norris
justin says:
i just noticed i dont kno who he is
Dont with CHUCK says:
no kids?
Dont with CHUCK says:
but whose babies will chuck norris eat for christmas?
justin says:
orlando blooms
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris does not eat fags
justin says:
how bout johnny depp
justin says:
we dont need him
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris does not eat pirates
justin says:
justin says:
how bout the guys from the gay cowboy movie
Dont with CHUCK says:
good friends of chuck
Dont with CHUCK says:
try again
Dont with CHUCK says:
inferrior being
justin says:
jack black
Dont with CHUCK says:
too fat
justin says:
the guy from big fat greek wedding
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris will consider this
Dont with CHUCK says:
but in the mean time chuck norris needs to feed on some babies
Dont with CHUCK says:
pay up bitch
justin says:
gimme a minut e
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris doesent have a minute to spare
justin says:
chuck must wait 9 months
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck admires your sense of humor
Dont with CHUCK says:
you are on chucks to do list
Dont with CHUCK says:
consider yourself chucked
justin says:
yee
Dont with CHUCK says:
chucked off that is
justin says:
go chuck off chuck
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris will chuck you to the ends of the earth for the remark
Dont with CHUCK says:
and then to the sun
justin says:
is chuck norris black?
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris is no race
Dont with CHUCK says:
and every race
Dont with CHUCK says:
except asians
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris hates chinks
justin says:
chuck norris wants to mess wit chiggas
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris kicked bruce lees ass fair and square
justin says:
how does he kno wat bruce lee looks like
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris has faced bruce lee
justin says:
it easily could have been any other asian
Dont with CHUCK says:
evidence will follow
justin says:
asia will cover the evidence with sars
Dont with CHUCK sends:
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris sends you this picture
Dont with CHUCK says:
in case you do not believe that is his sexy hairy body in the other
end of this pic
Dont with CHUCK says:
by declinging chuck norrises invitation
Dont with CHUCK says:
you have angered the gods
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris will reign upon you
justin says:
chuck norris is no god
Dont with CHUCK says:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
Dont with CHUCK says:
And CHUCK NORRIS will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison an
Dont with CHUCK says:
and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Dont with CHUCK says:
wait scratch that lord part out
Dont with CHUCK says:
and insert chuck norris
justin says:
u stole it from the bible didnt u
justin says:
u have commited sin against jesus
Dont with CHUCK says:
CHUCK NORRIS IS JESUS
justin says:
chuck norris is nothing more then a horse
justin says:
a horse with a small penis
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris is hung like a horse
Dont with CHUCK says:
a stallion
justin says:
oooo a stallion
justin says:
those things r huge
justin says:
im amazed they can run
Dont with CHUCK says:
did I forget to mention
Dont with CHUCK says:
that chuck norris is also a unicorn
justin says:
holy
justin says:
maybe he is go
justin says:
d
Dont with CHUCK says:
MAYBE?
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris knows not of the word maybe
justin says:
Dont with CHUCK says:
are you coming on to chuck norris?
justin says:
sexually ,yes
Dont with CHUCK says:
no one comes onto chuck norris
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris comes onto everybody
Dont with CHUCK says:
literally
justin says:
wow
Dont with CHUCK says:
indeed chuck norris has the sperm of a whale
justin says:
wow
Dont with CHUCK says:
is that all you have to say in awe of chuck norisses amazing sperm count?
justin says:
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris never has any actual contact whilst having sex
Dont with CHUCK says:
all chuck norris has to do
Dont with CHUCK says:
is say BOOYA and the woman will climax in that instant
justin says:
then wats the point of a penis
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris carries a penis only to ensure his homosexual fans that he is all man
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris would however never have any sexual relations with homosexuals
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris says theyre fags
justin says:
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris is not impressed
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris once banged a woman with three
justin says:
justin says:
Dont with CHUCK says:
your emoticons do not amuse chuck norris
Dont with CHUCK says:
and staring your display pic only angers chuck norris and provokes the beast within
Dont with CHUCK says:
do you know the number of the beast?
Dont with CHUCK says:
the number of chuck norris?
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris will give you a hint
Dont with CHUCK says:
the first numbe is 6
Dont with CHUCK says:
the last number is 6
Dont with CHUCK says:
and the number between those two numbers is the equivalent of 3+3
justin says:
?
Dont with CHUCK says:
are you implying that you are spanking your monkey while you talk to chuck norris?
justin says:
yee
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris must now leave you
Dont with CHUCK says:
but for your sake keep a mental image of the picture in my display pic if you should feel lonely
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck will understand.
justin says:
chuck will not be forgotten
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck will live on in the hearts of all hairy, texas rangers
Dont with CHUCK says:
my beard says goodbye
Dont with CHUCK says:
and happy holidays
Dont with CHUCK says:
brought to you by
Dont with CHUCK says:
walker
Dont with CHUCK says:
texas ranger
Dont with CHUCK says:
thats
Dont with CHUCK says:
where the rangers gonna be
Dont with CHUCK says:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...&s=dvd&v=glance
justin says:
eh cy
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck requests that you send him a transcript of our conversation if you have it availbable
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck would be very greatful |
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| Aristronica |
| i laughed hard and woke up my parents, A + |
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| djmetatron |
| quote: | | consider yourself chucked |
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| nchs09 |
| quote: | Originally posted by RapidFire
Dont with CHUCK says:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
Dont with CHUCK says:
And CHUCK NORRIS will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison an
Dont with CHUCK says:
and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Dont with CHUCK says:
wait scratch that lord part out
Dont with CHUCK says:
and insert chuck norris
justin says:
u stole it from the bible didnt u
Dont with CHUCK says:
is that all you have to say in awe of chuck norisses amazing sperm count?
justin says:
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris never has any actual contact whilst having sex
Dont with CHUCK says:
all chuck norris has to do
Dont with CHUCK says:
is say BOOYA and the woman will climax in that instant
Dont with CHUCK says:
chuck norris would however never have any sexual relations with homosexuals
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:stongue: |
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| willson |
| You did a crap job though at parts, I mean, Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse; A horse is hung, like Chuck Norris. |
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| Yan |
| quote: | Originally posted by willson
You did a crap job though at parts, I mean, Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse; A horse is hung, like Chuck Norris. |
:haha: |
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| RapidFire |
| quote: | Originally posted by willson
You did a crap job though at parts, I mean, Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse; A horse is hung, like Chuck Norris. |
:stongue: tru dat |
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| emc^2 |
Most
retarded
post
EVER!
Everyone knows that Jean Claude van Damme ate Chucky for breakfast ages ago. Oh, and then ground Chuck's bones to dust and snorted it.
Oh, and it is a well-known and documented fact that some of the most well-endowed elephants are slightly less hung than Jean Claude van Damme. As a mattter of fact, my neighbor's cousin's friend's father's co-worker once said he saw Chuck Norris crawl into JCvD p3n0r in a foolish attempt to try to kick Van Damme's pancreas but JCvD p1ssed Chucky out without even noticing. As a matter of fact you can see what I mean by visiting Niagara Falls. Those are not really niagara falls - it is JCvD takin a pi$$.
:thepirate |
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| SuspicionVandit |
| after watching Matrix Reloaded, i can't help but feel that Morpheus would take out Norris easily. While both are good at ass kicking, Morpheus definently wins the "damn, this guy looks like one bad mother ******" dimension. Black trenchcoat, samurai sword and automatic pistol |
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| idoru |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
after watching Matrix Reloaded, i can't help but feel that Morpheus would take out Norris easily. While both are good at ass kicking, Morpheus definently wins the "damn, this guy looks like one bad mother ******" dimension. Black trenchcoat, samurai sword and automatic pistol |
Nothing beats a leather jacket, cowboy hat, and fists/legs of fury. Not even samurai swords and automatic weapons. |
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| idoru |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nou
Not even a Keanou Reeves "Woah"? |
Except that. It's Norris' kryptonite. |
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