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Vin Diesel facts
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| jdjd |
These are 100% true, and even funnier than the facts about Chuck Norris
A little bit about Vin Diesel
>1.Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a
>massive erection. There were no survivors.
>
>2.Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning
>any property.
>
>3.There is no theory of evolution, just a list of
>creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
>
>4.If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it
>reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
>
>5.There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin
>Diesel. F-ck you, team.
>
>6.When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines
>the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a
>bucket.
>
>7.In an average living room there are 1,242 objects
>Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room
>itself.
>
>8.Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo,
>except for one time. He found himself stumped on the
>last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to
>find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down
>and screamed, "This is BULL!" They're all wearing
>shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim,
>"IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he
>ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from.
>The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good
>measure. The incident has since been refered to as
>Christmas.
>
>9.Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
>
>10.Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without
>even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled
>at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child"
>sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
>
>11.Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick
>wall in a game of tennis.
>
>12.Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
>
>13.Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying
>glass. At night.
>
>14.When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he
>doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
>
>15.Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother.
>He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he
>made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
>
>16.If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a
>guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album
>ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he
>doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for
>queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness
>of his response.
>
>17.It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile,
>but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
>
>18.Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully
>loaded gun and won.
>
>19.Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just
>refuses to put up with lactose's .
>
>20.When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy
>crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with
>him. At that point, she was the third girl he had
>slept with.
>
>21.On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one
>lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
>
>22.You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet
>consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of
>small children.
>
>23.In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness
>Book of World Records it notes that all world records
>are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book
>are simply the closest anyone has ever come to
>matching him.
>
>24.Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North -
>they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just
>likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are
>for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.
>
>25.Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
>
>26.Not only was Vin Diesel the first to shoot a baby
>out of a cannon, he was the first to eat a high
>velocity baby shot out of a cannon.
>
>27.When Vin Diesel runs with scissors, other people
>get hurt.
>
>28.Vin Diesel ripped out of all Charlie Brown's hair
>but left a single strand to remind him one day he'd
>come back to eat him.
>
>29.When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting
>himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. |
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| Jem_hadar |
I like the Chuck Norris ones better.
Vin Diesel ones just don't fly as well.
Vin Diesel > Chuck Norris |
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| r5a |
| If those were Chuck Norris ones, I would have laughed, but its Vin. No, im sorry. I didn't like it. |
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| infinity HiGH |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jem_hadar
I like the Chuck Norris ones better.
Vin Diesel ones just don't fly as well.
Vin Diesel > Chuck Norris |
so wouldn't that be Vin Diesel < Chuck Norris??
and half of those were used for Chuck Norris anyways |
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| TranceGrooves |
| quote: | Originally posted by infinity HiGH
half of those were used for Chuck Norris anyways |
yup they are all pretty much Chuck Norris lolz |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by infinity HiGH
so wouldn't that be Vin Diesel < Chuck Norris??
and half of those were used for Chuck Norris anyways |
oh no, i was implying that i actually like vin diesel.
hes cooler than norris anyday |
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| Stingray |
The ones that I read are all stolen from the Chuck Norris site!
Vin Diesel is a stupid name anyway. |
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| dj_souvlaki |
| chuck norris will kick vin diesels ass any day of the week. |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_souvlaki
chuck norris will kick vin diesels ass any day of the week. |
no way in HELL |
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| Stingray |
| Vin Diesel would get raped by Chuck Norris and ask for more. |
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| zokissima |
| some of those are hilarious. Mostly they're just dumb. |
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