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Text for a trance breakdown
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| BOOsTER |
Hi C0R3,
I'm currently working on a remix and I would like to put a message to someone to it...I'm wondering what would you think if you heard it in a tune? (particularly the breakdown part).
| quote: |
I tried to kill the passion for you within myself,
so many times,
But, you alway make me come back,
and realize that the bad one,
is who I am,
and then we smile like nothing bad happend,
even if I won't forgive you,
there's just something that still keeps me connected to you,
You told me you love me and ran away...
I (would) kill FOR YOU!
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what would you think? would you react like "OMG CHEESE ALARM"?
one more thing it will be only spoken quietly there...do you think it's ok? just the text not the song yet ;)
thanks all :p
P.S.: I'm not native english so please feel free to correct my grammar and/or nonsenses :D |
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| Aquarian |
| It's way too long. Try to stick with two or three lines. |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| :stongue: 98% of all trance lyrics are the most 3mo things Ive ever heard. |
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| BOOsTER |
Aquarian: Thank You!
UWM: You!
edit: it might sound emo :( but it happend... |
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| Sand Leaper |
| Simplify. Boil the message down to just a few words, and let the listeners interpret it themselves. It isn't necessary to be so obvious. |
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| StanVoid |
| i like the word 'connected' ... it sounds techy, and would do real good in a trance breakdown if filtered and processed with effects properly. Try to narrow down that whole passage, but keep the part with the word 'connected' in it. I dunno it might sound cool :) |
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| SuspicionVandit |
the next southern sun?
anyways, is it going to be sung or is it a message? I don't really know if you meant "text" as in Mike Foyle "do you remember" or actual lyrics? |
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| Echo of Silence |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sand Leaper
Simplify. Boil the message down to just a few words, and let the listeners interpret it themselves. It isn't necessary to be so obvious. |
Haha, Jan, for all you know she's like me. He might have to speak clearly and slowly and say it 50 zillion times...in five different languages...backwards and frontwards and sideways...
and she still won't get it!
:tongue3 |
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| BOOsTER |
| quote: | Originally posted by Echo of Silence
and she still won't get it!
:tongue3 |
quite exact...
it's going to be spoken...
just a message...not sung...I don't really know about anyone who could sing good enough :) |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by BOOsTER
UWM: You!
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:D :D :D :D |
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| washout |
write it in your native tongue.
english. |
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