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Another example of Internet crazyness
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| THE_Chris |
Now I know noone will read all these, but FFS why do people write this e?
FFS.
| quote: |
There was a young schoolgirl called Nat
Who sat in her class rubbing her twat.
She liked being naughty,
It made her feel horny,
So she pissed in her pants where she sat!
There was a young girl called Jo
Who woke up dying to go
She sleepily said,
"I think I'll pee in my bed."
Then she frigged herself off in mid flow!
There was a young girl called Louise.
Who just loved to flirt and to tease-
She lifts up her dress
And I think you can guess
That it's into her pants that she pees!
There was a girl named Kate
Who needed the loo - couldn't wait.
So she let go the lot
In her clothes - guess what?
She thought that pissing in her panties was great!
There once was a schoolgirl named Sarah,
Who'd do anything if you dared her
In the classroom she'd piss
With such a loud hiss,
So's all of the class could hear her!
There was a young lady of France
Who was always doing a dance
When enquired why she did this
She said, "To keep in my piss ...
And it saves me from peeing my pants!"
There was a young lady of Exeter
Who finds wetting her knickers excite her
When pee runs down her thighs
She's on a sexual high
And wants it to go on forever!
There was a lady from Wheeling
Who had a particular feeling
She laid on her back
And played with her crack
Then she pissed all over the ceiling.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones are seldom comical
The limerick's callous and crude
Its morals distressingly lewd
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding
It's designed for the vulgar and rude.
There once was a young maiden in a pickle
Into her panties her pee was beginning to trickle
Though she put up a great fight
And squeezed with all of her might
She came when she peed and thought it a miracle.
There once was a lady name Stormy
When she needed to pee she became quite horny
She held it in all day long
By evening she could barely hang on
Until she came and peed the seat of her lorry.
Once there was Daphne the Flirt
She always had a wet spot on her skirt
So horny when desperate for a piddle
Into her panties her cream began to trickle
Holding it made her cum with a squirt
Jim at foreplay was quite adept
Around Jane he kept his arm wrapped
She told him she had to go soon
But his fingers were sending her to the moon
So she wet her pants in his lap.
There once was a man named Lance
With his girl he decided to take a chance
She said with a sigh
As his hand reached the top of her thigh
"That makes me feel so good I'm about to pee in my pants!"
There once was a girl named Meg
At the door to her flat she began to beg
"Let me go in, my bladder is bursting!"
Instead she gave into some serious lusting
Then kissed him while it ran down her leg.
There was a man so horny when he awoke
His wife and her full bladder he began to poke
Their passion was intense
And their relief was immense
And she said, "Oh dear! My dam just broke!"
There was a lovely young miss
Who awoke needing badly to piss
Instead she woke her lover
Who began to firmly pump
she thought every girl should wet the bed like this!
There once was a lady named Kay
In bed in the mornings she'd play
With legs wide apart
She'd finger until her orgasm would start
The all over the bed her pee would spray.
There once was a lady who'd prance
Holding herself tightly she'd dance
Oh what rotten luck
Her pants zipper was stuck!
So she wound up peeing in her pants.
There once was a lady at the dance
Who desperately needed some romance
After dinner he held her near
"More cream for your coffee my dear?"
"No thank you. I've already more than enough in my pants!"
There once was a girl named Rose
Who to her beau a nipple exposed
It's an emergency, please squeeze this
Because I've waited too long for a piss
Just touch it and I'll pee and cum in my clothes!
There once was a young lady up a ladder
She was desperate to find relief for her bladder
When it became too serious
With relief became almost delirious
When on the ground drops of pee began to patter
There once was a lady in Chicago
While on the train she really had to go
When a gentleman became bold
And asked if there was anything he could hold
She said, "You're too late, I just let it all go."
There once was a lady named Myrtle
Who always seemed slower than a turtle
When she was desperate to go
It seemed she was always too slow
So through here panties her pee would begin to hurtle.
There once was a man named Tad
He'd wake up needing to pee so bad
His wife didn't mind
So he peed on her behind
"Oh! I just love it when you're a naughty lad!"
There once was a man named Don
Who would wake with a huge hard-on
But his wife's soft bum
Would always make him cum
Then down her cheeks his cream would run
There once was a man of the land
He'd wake with his prick in his wife's hand
She said, "this must hurt!"
"Here, let me make it spurt!"
That's why for wetting the bed she'd planned.
There once was a young lady named Fawn
She stood dancing after the trip she'd been on
Her good friend Jean
Asked what all she'd seen
"Everything but the @#$% door to the john!"
There once was a man named Joe
His wife got him so hard he couldn't go
She asked, "What's the matter?"
He replied, "Dear, it's my bladder."
Spreading she said, "In that case, why don't you cum n' go?"
There once was a girl named Sandy
When desperate to pee she got quite randy
Her boyfriend saw his chance
And slid his hand down the front of her pants
Then she found cumming while going just dandy!
There once was a girl named Jill
Her bladder with drinks she'd fill
When she got in a pickle
She'd let her boyfriend give her fancy a tickle
Then in her panties her drinks she'd spill.
There once was a man from Fiji
He thought his wife's panties were dreamy
When he'd hear her say
"Put your hand up my dress and play"
He didn't find them dreamy, just very creamy.
There once was a lass from Belfast
She drank Guinness at the pub 'til the last
When on the way home
When she could no longer hold on
Her panties got a blast from the past.
There was a lady who was stunning
But to the ladies she was desperately running
Her hand was thrust between her thighs
When she stops and in pleasure cries
Her hand and wet pants had made her start cumming.
There once was a young man from Philly
His girlfriend was playing with his willy
He said, "This is your last chance."
"You'll make me cum in my pants!"
So she let him squirt it on her tittie.
There once was a girl from Twin Cities
Who'd impress her dates with her titties
You can play with these
For as long as you please ...
... or at least until you make me pee in my panties!
There once was a girl named Madeline
Her boyfriend was holding it to gain time
She took hold of it for him
And pressed the head against her quim
I'd MUCH rather you pee on mine!
There was a young lady from Malibu
During sex she'd refuse to go to the loo
When between her legs they'd play
She'd warn them and say,"...
"Surf's up! Cowabunga, dude!"
There once was a man named Jack
Who'd not let his lady off of her back
When in the morning he'd hear
"I'm close to bursting, my dear"
He'd her until she peed in the sack.
There was a girl from Mississippi,
When her bladder was full she was quite happy
The toilet she would not use
Because her boyfriend an accident would excuse
She'd just say, "Please, the pee out of me!"
There once was a girl name Kitty
Who had breasts that were very pretty
She'd make her man wait
Until to pee was he late
Then she'd get him to pee on her titties.
There once was a lady from Maine
She got caught short on a flight while in Spain
As she was going to the door
She couldn't hold it in any more
So her rain fell mainly on the plane
There once was a girl in New Orleans
She'd hold it until bursting at the seams
When the warm, wet heat
Began to spread throughout her seat
She exclaimed, "I just love going in my jeans!"
There once was a girl into sports
For her boyfriend she'd try all sorts
When his desire for wet pants he'd confide
Her accident she wouldn't hide
She'd piss and watch him cum in his shorts
There once was a girl who loved sport
Especially that of the liquid sort
When for wet play she'd start yearning
Her passion would soon be burning
To float your boat into her port
There once was a lady from Toledo
She had a date with a young man in a speedo
He reacted with glee
After she made him too hard to pee
When she asked to launch is torpedo
There was once a young woman from Reading
Who'd wake up her husband by singing,
"Nothing could be finah,
Than to pee on Carolina,
In the mor-o-orn-ing!"
There was a Southern Belle named Mina
"Water sports? Why, there's nothing finah!"
With a southern gentleman I'll be flirting
While under my skirt I'll be squirting
It gives me such a creamy feeling in my vaginah!
There once was a girl named Pam
For hours she was stuck in a traffic jam
The traffic kept her waiting
Until to hold her pee she was masturbating
And didn't care when she burst her dam
There once was a lady from Pontiac
Who was anxiously riding in back
She said, "You've got to stop!"
"I'm just about to pop!"
"It's already running down my crack!"
There once was a new couple from Carolina
They got horny in their new home in Edina
He started to play with her nipple
Then she started to giggle
"Honey, you just made me pee in the box of china!"
There once as a girl living in Constance
Her date stood her up for the big dance
She needed him to play with her badly
Frustrated, "Piss on it!" she said madly
Then sat right down and pissed in her pants!
There was a lady from Kent State
Who was turned on by waiting almost too late
In the car the toilet she'd need
But her husband knew not to speed
He knew it wasn't long until she had to masturbate
There once was a couple from Tours
Who loved to pee together outdoors
She turned to her mate
And said, "Honey, this is just great!"
You hold mine and I'll hold yours!
There once was a couple who lived high in the moors
On winter nights they cuddled behind closed doors
With the wind howling in the tree
She said, "It's much too cold to get up and go pee."
"So why don't you help me hold mine and I'll help hold yours?"
There once was a lass from Scotland
Who traveled with a band all over the land
After, to loos everyone rushed
Instead she sat and in her panties gushed
She peed just to beat the band
Once there was a young man named Bert
He said, "I'm so full it's starting to hurt!"
His girl took it from his pants for him
Then pointed it up past her hem
And begged him to pee up her skirt!
There once was a lady named Delores
She'd made her man too hard to piss
Then between her boobs his prick she pressed
Until his cum she'd made him express
Then let him wash his cum off her boobies
There once was a gal named Peg
She and her friends shared a keg
"Where's the bathroom!?" she pleaded
But all her pleas went unheeded
Until all she could do was pee down her leg
There once was a woman from Kilgore
Who found using the bathroom a bore
Then she began to have fantasies
that she stopped wearing panties
Now she pees any where, even on the floor!
There once was a girl from Nancy
In the morning found the bathroom with "No Vacancy"
So she went back to bed
And played with herself instead
And when she came she cried, "Oui, Wee!"
There once was a woman in a fur coat
She had to go so badly she could fill a moat
It excited her until she had to sit
And under her coat play with her clit
Until she floated her "little man in the boat"
There once was a woman named Myrtle
The temptation of wet panties she couldn't hurdle
The pressure of the elastic
On her bladder made her feel fantastic
That's why she always peed in her girdle
There once was a princess of Bahrain
She'd always pee herself when she came
She told her prince not to fret
She wanted him to make her wet
"Quick, get me a drink so I can do it again!"
There once was a lady from Sussex
Before her date she took a Lasix
In bed she was about to pop
But she couldn't get her boyfriend to stop
So they wound up having wet sex!
There once was a lady form Essex
Before getting in the car she took a Lasix
Her bladder quickly began to fill
From the effects of that tiny pill
Until she wet her pants in spite of all her tricks
There once was a young lady from Crete
Whose bus was delayed by the sleet
The pressure she could no longer abide
So she pulled her panties aside
And peed on the back of the next seat
There once was a lady from the Ukraine
Her urge to pee she was desperately trying to restrain
Even with her legs tightly crossed
Control of her bladder she still lost
Until the seat of her jeans was one wet stain
There once was a young lady named Constance
She thought using the ladies was a hindrance
Between her legs her hand would play
So that peeing she could delay
And do a pretty dance to keep from peeing in her pants
There once was a girl named May
Who loved to do things quite risqué
When she held more than a tank full
In the snow she didn't try to be artful
She'd just pull down her panties and spray
There once was a lady from the desert
She would never leave the table without dessert
When told by the waiter
That dessert was going to be later
She waited until the pee ran out of her skirt
There once was a man named Jack
While on a date he had a bladder attack
She told him to take it in hand
And to put it down her waist band
Then begged to feel it run down her crack
There once was a chap named Brandon
Needing to pee made him get a hard-on
Finally he reached such a state
Through his pants he began to masturbate
Soon he had to go put dry pants on
Once there was a young lady from Washington
She found that needing to pee was a turn-on
Finally she reached such a state
That in her panties she began to masturbate
Until she had to go put dry panties on
There once was a couple in London
With full bladders both would be turned on
Finally they both reached such a state
Each other they began to masturbate
Until they had to go put dry clothes on
Once there was a lady from D.C.
She went to bed needing badly to pee
Soon she began to dream
Then in her panties she started to cream
And woke up cumming in mid wee!
There once was a lady in Nan king
A long time in line she'd been waiting
She began to shed a tear
Because the front was no where near
And into her panties she had begun leaking
There once was a lady from Greece
Awoke with a hard one between her cheeks
It made her want to have some fun
So she said, "Please cum on my bum!"
And while he humps she squirts and leaks
There once was a couple from Gibraltar
Before bed she'd make him drink lots of water
When he'd wake up hard and burstin'
She'd tell him to hurry and put it in!
"When you've got to pee your SO much harder!
There once was a girl named Mary
Whose boyfriend was being quite contrary
She did not bother to pout
She just opened her spout
And peed on his expensive upholstery!
There once was a gent named Bert
In his pants sometimes he would squirt
When he'd need to pee
His girlfriend would play with his willy
Until in his pants she'd make him spurt
There once was a girl named bunny
She did exotic dances for money
When she needed to pee
Even that wasn't for free
"May I have a lap dance, Honey?"
There once was a lady named Rose
Who loved for her boyfriend to pose
"When all he can think of is me,
Why should I leave to go pee?"
Then let go and peed in her hose
There once was a lady from St. Joe's
Who needed the loo badly one would suppose
She said, "When I'm in this state...
I won't bother to wait...
I'll just go in my panty hose!"
There once was a lady named Joyce
She desperately needed to pee with great force
She got down from her chair
And on all fours put her arse in the air
When she let go it looked like a race horse
There once was a young lady from Fairmont
In the pub she was drinking stout
She exclaimed, "Oh, what luck!"
"The damn zipper's stuck!"
"It seems my jeans won't suffer a drought!"
There once was a girl named Sissy
She was always a horny little missy
When asked by someone she met,
"Why do you let your pants get wet?"
"I get so excited when my panties are all pissy!"
There once was a girl from Hackensack
She'd drink so much she'd loose track
She'd lay with her bladder filling
Because she found it quite thrilling
And cum when it began running down her crack!
There once was a country girl from Jesup
She was fooling around in a pickup
Then said her boyfriend Bubba,
"I feel that your panties are rubber!"
"Yeah, and my bladder just filled them up!!"
There once was a girl name Louise
All the boys she loved to tease
She'd tell them there's a chance
They could make her cum in her pants
Then lets them play with her 'til she pees
There once was a young lady named Constance
Her boyfriend loved to see her dance
He wouldn't let her go pee
Because the dance he most wanted to see
Was the one that kept her from peeing her pants!
There once was a young lady from Dorset
An accident wouldn't get her upset
She'd hold it until she was ready to pop
And wait until the flow she could not stop
It excited her so when she'd begin to wet
There once was a lady of Belleau
After some drinks she felt quite mellow
When her bladder began to feel taxed
Her muscles she just relaxed
Then turned her white pants mellow yellow
There once was a girl named Sigourney
Needing to pee made her quite horny
She'd frig and pee in her bed
Never thinking to go to the loo instead
And for wetting the bed she was never sorry!
There once was a lady from Innsbruck
Who had the most wonderful luck
When her boyfriend Joe
Wouldn't let her out of bed to go
She found holding a full bladder the best way to !
There once was a lady in Muskogee
In her office all morning she'd drink coffee
When asked by her friend Jill
Why she couldn't sit still
She whispered, "I get so horny when I'm dying to pee!"
There once was a lady in Karachi
Who'd hold it until dying to pee
At her desk she'd look quite prim
But under the desk she'd play with her quim
Until she'd cum and have a good wee
There once was a lady named Nancy
She liked wearing panties quite fancy
It wasn't for love of fashion
It seems she had another great passion
Getting them all warm and wet with her pee!
There once was a lady from Cincinnati
Who loved to dance the mariachi
She never thought of stopping
Even when her bladder was popping
Because she wore rubber panties in which to pee
There once was a lady named Jo
She loved to dance the flamenco
The staccato dance
Made her cream in her pants
And that would make her bladder let go
There once was a girl named Missy
Everyone at the party thought she acted prissy
The said, "We'll show her!"
And said the loo was out of order
Then Missy wasn't so prissy with her pants all pissy
There once was a lady in Manchester
Who loved for her man to tittie her
One morning after shooting his load
He exclaimed, "My bladder's about to explode!"
She said, "Then wash off my with your warm water."
There once was a lady named Jane
Who looked on public toilets with disdain
On the way home she began to dance
And finally put her hand down her pants
But couldn't keep from wetting herself on the train.
There once was a man named Freddie
He was playing with his wife's until she was ready
But he mistook her squirming
For her sexual yearning
Until she said, "You just made me pee in my teddy!"
There once was a horny young missy
She loved to get her panties all pissy
She'd hold the lips of her ****
So her pee would squirt out the front
And cum when it ran over her clitty
There once was a belle from Natchez
Her boyfriend would keep her in stitches
After a hearty guffaw
Her eyes widened in awe
And cried, "You've jest made me wet my britches!"
There once was a lady named Miss Kitty
She lived in the town of Dodge City
One day in her saloon
She locked the ladies bathroom
And watched the girls dance while playing with her clitty.
There once was a woman named Chastity
Who took a long ride into the city
When her bladder began to make
A puddle the size of a lake
She was amazed at her bladder's capacity
There once was a lass from afar
Who drove home after a while at a bar
She was desperate for a bathroom
But there wouldn't be one anytime soon
So she spread her legs and peed in her car
There once was a lady named Lucy
When she needed to pee she became very juicy
It was then she'd begin to flirt
By letting men peek up her skirt
And let them see her leaking
There once was a young couple of Bull Run
Who made love after drinking lots of rum
Afterwards she began to fret
When she discovered the bed was very wet
And said, "Cheeky bastard! You just peed on my bum!"
There once was a lady on a bus
Needing to pee wasn't a cause for a fuss
She'd neither whine nor beg
When her pee began to run down her leg
She'd smile and put on a grand show for the rest of us
There once was a woman of culture
But she was about to loose her composure
Her bladder in pain
Finally made here exclaim
"My panties are about to experience great moisture!"
There once was a lady from Niagara Falls
Who couldn't undo her overalls
Try as she might
The snaps were stuck tight
So she left a trail down the halls |
:nervous: |
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| kadomony |
| how do you keep finding this stuff? |
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| mellow_head |
| LOL, where'd you get this from? :crazy: |
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| arcadia190 |
holy crap!!!!:eek:
good luck with this thread
i dont think every1 is gonna read all that
:eek: :eek: :eek: |
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| trunks1022 |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
how do you keep finding this stuff? |
yeah a little disturbing |
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| Zoso |
| Can we be arrested for reading that? ;) |
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| ZeJayMan |
| quote: | | There once was a woman of culture.... |
Oh man, second last one, they were clearly running out of ideas.
Thats ign awful... |
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| Theresa |
The limerick's callous and crude
Its morals distressingly lewd
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding
It's designed for the vulgar and rude.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Here is the disclaimer!! |
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| THE_Chris |
| Thats actually far better written than the crap I posted :D |
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| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
The limerick's callous and crude
Its morals distressingly lewd
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding
It's designed for the vulgar and rude.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Here is the disclaimer!! |
Yay! A winner is you!
And yes, much better then the rest of the thread :p |
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| iammesol |
Some people just have way too much free time...
Theresa ftw!!! :D |
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