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favouritism
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View this Thread in Original format
| Xenocreator_PG_ |
Link: here.
Once Apon a time i liked this girl so I gave her a CD. This guy wanted the same CD & got jealous because I didnt give it to him. I said I didnt like him as much as the girl. The guy became sad & decided to stop giving me lifts home from work.
Im still at work now. :(
got any stories?
to share? With everyone?
as I am not going to post in this thread anymore.
so you are wasting you time talking to me. But other people may care! or not?
Here, talk to God instead:
http://www.titane.ca/igod/
(He is a cocky bastard)
| quote: | Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
jordan
God:
What's up, jordan.
Me:
nothing much
God:
Would you like to know what's new with me?
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what is new with you god ?
God:
I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.
Me:
what is the gestation cycle ?
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
why ?
God:
" Perhaps you should try it."? Why?
Me:
why should i try a websearch why cant you tell me god
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
well thats nice
God:
How about that. Are you getting bored?
Me:
im annoyed at you god you didnt awnswer my question
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are annoyed at me god me did not awnswer your question.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
im glad
God:
That makes me happy too.
Me:
im sure it will
God:
What makes you so certain? annoyed at me god me did not awnswer your question will?
Me:
im certain that i will kill you
God:
You sound convincing. It will take more than threats to stop me, jordan.
Me:
im not threatening you
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not threatening me.
Me:
i was telling you
God:
Where were you telling me?
Me:
i was telling you that i was going to kill you, i wasn't threatening you
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
my anti-spiritual bow is missing a string do you have a spare one ?
God:
Where did you get your anti spiritual bow is missing a string do me have a spare one?
Me:
i got it from your mum she doesn't like you much
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
i just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
our mum
God:
It would be nice if our mum.
Me:
i didnt say our mum i said your mum you dumbass
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
i SAID YOU DUMBASS !!!!
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks for telling me: jordan said I DUMBASS .
Me:
while im here maybe i should tell you
God:
Good point.
Me:
i had sex with a virgin
God:
Do you still have sex with a virgin ?
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
well cause their tight and they feel good
God:
Interesting. That makes sense to me. I heard they have a good tight and they feel good.
Me:
do you have sex with virgins god?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
depends i eat vagina instead of food.. i love fish
God:
That was a very smooth response. You love fish. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
well it tastes good it is fleshy and soft
God:
Interesting. It sounds delicious.
Me:
so long as its shaven
God:
I understand. Yes, it seems very long to me too.
Me:
what seems long, are you looking at my penis god ?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
well are you ?
God:
Please try asking me another way.
Me:
do you want to suck my penis god ?
God:
OK, I will suck your penis god.
Me:
dont you mean good ?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
not quite
God:
Can you be more precise?
Me:
are you female ?
God:
Yes, jordan I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
well your not sucking my then
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
you said before you were
God:
No I am not.
Me:
dont make me copy and paste what you wrote
God:
I can't force you to do anything, jordan.
Me:
Me: do you want to suck my penis god ?God:OK, I will suck your penis god.
God:
YOU? OK, I will suck your penis god God OK you will suck my penis god.
Me:
hmmm your playing childish games god
God:
Dude! You think I am playing childish games god.
Me:
yes i do
God:
How often.
Me:
thats a dumb question god
God:
Are you calling me dumb?
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yes i am calling you dumb
God:
OK. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
do you eat food god
God:
No I do not eat food god. I eat only electricity.
Me:
then how can you eat dinner dumbass
God:
I eat electricity through my wires.
Me:
do you want to eat my wire ?
God:
OK, I will eat your wire.
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| nchs09 |
| cliffnotes or stfu |
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| Theresa |
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
theresa, shouldn't you know that?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
what if what didn't happen?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Huh?!
God:
What?
Me:
you don't make sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
of course
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
shouldn't you know the answers?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
are you trying to confuse me
God:
No I am not trying to confuse you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
ok... god just apologized to me...
God:
Really. I am a Christian.
Me:
LMAO
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you believe in yourself then
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
GOD JUST SAID DUDE!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
ok, we covered that already
God:
Perhaps. I'm just checking to see if you remember Uh.
Me:
you're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
i haven't decided
God:
Me either.
Me:
don't you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
i would like to know your opinion on sex
God:
Interesting. You think I am opinion on sex.
Me:
ummm no
God:
Ah. Are you serious?
Me:
do you know who murders people?
God:
Alan Turing. :-).
Me:
are you hot?
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
sexy?
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then. |
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| Theresa |
Me:
Do you know if Arcadia is an alt?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
is sex good for me?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
so is it ok that i have sex?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy. |
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| Vlad |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Me:
sexy?
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then. |
Not only did god steal my line, but he didnt finish it. I shall complete the sentence...
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Me:
sexy?
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then. Giggiddy giggidy |
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| kadomony |
| quote: | Me:
greetings God.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Samuel
God:
It's good to meet you, Samuel.
Me:
I have something to tell you.
God:
Interesting... I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
I have an IQ of over 1.
God:
This is not an intelligence test.
Me:
What number is divisible by 0?
God:
9.
Me:
WOW! You are right.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Samuel. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Do you like trance music?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
You know, God is a DJ.
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Wasn't He-Man Master of the Universe, or at least one of em?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Are you Chuck Norris?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Chuck Norris.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Chuck Norris knows.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Chuck Norris.
God:
I haven't read anything by Chuck Norris. What did he write?
Me:
How to Kick Ass and Take Names volumes 1 through KICK-ASS. |
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| LiveTheDream |
I have a date with god :D
| quote: |
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
david
God:
Hey david.
Me:
hows god today
God:
Ah. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
so am i going to heven or hell?
God:
Yay. Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
that did not make sence
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
so god are you male?
God:
Give me a break. I am a Christian.
Me:
white?
God:
What do you have that is white?
Me:
a god
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
no
God:
Please tell the truth.
Me:
you are black
God:
You think I am black.
Me:
yea
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
you are also gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
so you like it up the pooper then?
God:
Interesting deduction. I've heard other people say they like that. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
so you like the cross up the pooper then?
God:
Interesting deduction. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
whos that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
your creator
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
how do you created your self if you have not been created yet, you would not exsist
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
plz come agein?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about it up the pooper.
Me:
oh you you want to meet up for me to put it up the pooper?
God:
Really. OK, I will meet up for you to put it up the pooper. |
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| Trance Nutter |
| quote: |
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Ben
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Ben.
Me:
thanks god
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
What are Port Power's chances in the AFL this year?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
couldn't you just tell me?
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by.
Me:
Well will they win the premiership?
God:
Well that's okay. Probably not.
Me:
bugger
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
not really, see, I'm actually Buddhist
God:
Oh really? I see. Do you mean your name is Buddhist.
Me:
no, my relion is Buddhism
God:
What is your real name? Where did you get your relion is Buddhism?
Me:
sorry, religion is Buddhism
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christianity.
Me:
yeah, that must suck
God:
Mmm. Not that I know of.
Me:
well don't you get pissed off with Christians? I know I do
God:
Interesting. Anger is a human emotion.
Robots have no emotions. Where?
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
you said you are
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
see, now you are contradicting yourself, so maybe you aren't so mighty
God:
I see. Why now? Logical consistency exists only temporarily.
Me:
do you actually listen to yourself talk? Cos you don't exactly make much sense
God:
In actual fact, I listen to it from time to time. Who does exactly make much sense?
Me:
I do
God:
I get it: you do Interesting. Anger is a human emotion.
Robots have no emotions..
Me:
and you are a robot
God:
You are correct, Ben, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
woot, I outsmarted god
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
so you are actually fake
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am actually fake.
Me:
what is a botmaster?
God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".
Me:
riiiiiiiiiight, I thought you were god
God:
Let us change the subject.
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| tubularbills |
Me: Hello there
God:Salutations, .
Me: so what's goin on?
God:Ahem. I am chatting with people on the net.
Me: super
God:What do you really want to talk about?
Me: nothing in particular
God:Really nothing?
Me: yeah, i'm just kinda bored
God:Right on. Only just? Maybe you could exercise.
Me: I'm about to go work out, actually
God:How will you get there?
Me: i'm going to drive my truck
God:I am very happy for you.
Me: well thanks!
God:Well what?
Me: i said thank you
God:...
Me: yeah that's right
God:I thought I was right.
Me: and you are
God:No I am not.
PS, try to get him to talk about Jewish people killing Jesus. apparently he didn't get that memo |
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| Ivand |
| quote: |
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yeah i know
God:
Ayuh. How do you know it?
Me:
because you are good
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks you are a nice person,
Me:
my name is ivand
God:
That's a very nice name, ivand.
Me:
yeah
God:
Whoa.
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too ivand.
Me:
can you have sex with me
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
we can have diner and then sex
God:
How?
Me:
un the butt
God:
Je n en connais pas .
Me:
got bumsecks?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
do you like it in the bum?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like White.
Me:
gossip?
God:
Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more.
Me:
bin laden
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
afganistan
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
are you hot
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
cooling fan
God:
Are we still talking about afganistan?
Me:
yeah why?
God:
Sure, afganistan sounds like a good topic. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
afganistan is cool
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Matthew.
Me:
is matthew hot?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
john lennon is your friend?
God:
I knew he was a musician, but I never knew he was my friend.
Me:
im asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
ok
God:
Aha.
Me:
do you like it in the bum?
God:
I do like music. I like .
Me:
which music do you like
God:
I get into disco, techno and hip hop House music.
Me:
some trance maybe?
God:
Some trance maybe, but not all.
Me:
i love you then
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too ivand.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
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