|
Post funny listings from craigslist in your area.. (pg. 13)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Protege |
If only I lived in Milwaukee *sigh*
 |
|
|
| Slylee |
this needs to be bumped.
| quote: | Subject = To the Jewish guy watching gay porn near the Bagdad
My friend wanted to say sorry for yelling "Pervert!" really loud by your window. He didn't think you could hear and it was kind of weird that we could see right into your window from the sidewalk and see a menorah on the sill and hardcore gay porn on the tube. Either way we just wanted you to know that we think you're creepy, not a pervert.
Sincerely,
The People Who Interrupted Your Evening Masterbation Session |
:stongue: |
|
|
| Slylee |
HAHAHAHAHA
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/176368889.html
| quote: | I trim. I mow the lawn up top to basically look like a pizza slice with a bite taken out. I use clippers for this.
As for the balls and taint I have set up a system that helps me shave them without getting bumps or redness.
I took a balloon, blew it up, lathered it, and then practiced shaving it until I could do so with a surgeon’s precision. It took practice but I finally felt that I had it down after several tries, one crying spell, and the Rocky theme playing in the background.
So I decided last night would be my first ball shaving with the new technique.
So I get naked, do a shot of bourbon, and then strip. Oh , the blinds! Okay close them after waving to my neighbor and proceed to ground zero… my bathroom.
Once in the bathroom I put on a headband and start shouting slogans at myself in the mirror.
“ yeah bitch it’s going down”
“Look at you! Is that even hair? Who would want you?”
“Yall ******s are gonna be smooth!” pointing to my wiry sack.
Out with the bad air…in with the good.
Okay so the tools are now all laid out. Three different razors. Gillette shaving cream. Water is running and Norah Jones is in the CD player. I don’t know why but her voice makes me want to shave my balls. But I digress.
I splash a little cold water on my eggs so the bag will shrivel up. Good, nice and tight.
My hands are shaking like leaves. Drip of sweat coming from my brow, and you bitches questioned the headband; I go in for the first hover stroke.
I can’t do it.
I drop the razor and pace. ! All this prep work! All my training! All those popped balloons!
Do it for the balloons kid, for the balloons. The voice in my head was familiar. Mickey?
I grab the razor (cue inspirational music… you’re the best, arooound. Nothin’ in the world can keep you down!)
I have never spoken in tongues or had an out of body experience but this is what I imagine it is like. I was hitting angles that I never thought possible. I was upside down at one point.
I woke up speaking Latin and had two leg nuggets as smooth as silk. The phone had shaving cream and a couple of pubes on it and there was no more bourbon.
Today, my friends, I have the smoothest sack in DC. It feels like that Viagra commercial when that guy got his confidence back. I am walking into rooms just eager to show my newly shorn sack.
New haircut? Nope, shaved my balls! Did you get that promotion? Nope, silky sack!
You’re the best, around. Nothin’ in the world can keep you down. You’re the best around…..
|
|
|
|
| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Clovis86
Thats hot... |
yea i was sort of arroused by that ad myself. lol
are we weird?
god? who am i?
*ponders*
/emo |
|
|
| StanVoid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
HAHAHAHAHA
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/176368889.html
I trim. I mow the lawn up top to basically look like a pizza slice with a bite taken out. I use clippers for this.
As for the balls and taint I have set up a system that helps me shave them without getting bumps or redness.
I took a balloon, blew it up, lathered it, and then practiced shaving it until I could do so with a surgeon’s precision. It took practice but I finally felt that I had it down after several tries, one crying spell, and the Rocky theme playing in the background.
So I decided last night would be my first ball shaving with the new technique.
So I get naked, do a shot of bourbon, and then strip. Oh , the blinds! Okay close them after waving to my neighbor and proceed to ground zero… my bathroom.
Once in the bathroom I put on a headband and start shouting slogans at myself in the mirror.
“ yeah bitch it’s going down”
“Look at you! Is that even hair? Who would want you?”
“Yall ******s are gonna be smooth!” pointing to my wiry sack.
Out with the bad air…in with the good.
Okay so the tools are now all laid out. Three different razors. Gillette shaving cream. Water is running and Norah Jones is in the CD player. I don’t know why but her voice makes me want to shave my balls. But I digress.
I splash a little cold water on my eggs so the bag will shrivel up. Good, nice and tight.
My hands are shaking like leaves. Drip of sweat coming from my brow, and you bitches questioned the headband; I go in for the first hover stroke.
I can’t do it.
I drop the razor and pace. ! All this prep work! All my training! All those popped balloons!
Do it for the balloons kid, for the balloons. The voice in my head was familiar. Mickey?
I grab the razor (cue inspirational music… you’re the best, arooound. Nothin’ in the world can keep you down!)
I have never spoken in tongues or had an out of body experience but this is what I imagine it is like. I was hitting angles that I never thought possible. I was upside down at one point.
I woke up speaking Latin and had two leg nuggets as smooth as silk. The phone had shaving cream and a couple of pubes on it and there was no more bourbon.
Today, my friends, I have the smoothest sack in DC. It feels like that Viagra commercial when that guy got his confidence back. I am walking into rooms just eager to show my newly shorn sack.
New haircut? Nope, shaved my balls! Did you get that promotion? Nope, silky sack!
You’re the best, around. Nothin’ in the world can keep you down. You’re the best around….. |
OMG HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
You’re the best, around. Nothin’ in the world can keep you down. You’re the best around….. |
|
|
| dj_bas |
That's probably the most normal post i've ever seen on here. I mean c'mon...free room & board for sex slave? Makes sense to me. |
|
|
| Slylee |
yea i know but it's just funny how she can't walk around the house unless she's naked, and she must on demand in any 3 holes. :stongue:
i would hope those dudes live on star island or some . to make it worth it at least. |
|
|
| DJ RJT |
:stongue:
I lol'd when I read that... |
|
|
| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ RJT
:stongue:
I lol'd when I read that... |
haha :p i hope i can get rid of them!
if i don't get any hits on CL, i might throw them up on eBay.
oooh or i'll sell 'em on TA for only $400! ITS A GREAT DEAL, GUYS!! they come along with a buttseckz guarantee! |
|
|
|
|
