|
Sketchy situation with longtime friends; Advice? (pg. 2)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| lücid |
if they refuse to believe you or really listen to what you have to say, then i think all you can do for the time being is just wait it out and hope they realize how ty they're acting. i don't think they want to lose you as a friend, especially not over something like DJing... so sooner or later hopefully they'll realize they need to be happy for you and be on your side, rather than trying to compete with or go against you.
you've spoken your mind, there's not much else you can do beyond that. you shouldn't have to be the only one trying to mend the friendship. |
|
|
| medinaM5 |
| ^^^agreed, they need to come to the realization that they are acting like little kids, they should be happy that you're as successful as you are, their own fault that they aren't, no need to play the blame game |
|
|
| Lira |
You see, Mr. Turner, there's one thing about people we can't ignore:
Defence mechanisms
When some people fail, they tend to blame their failure in something else. It's a great defence mechanism, because they cease to believe they're responsible for what they've done - rather, it's "fate" or "something they couldn't control". No egos hurt whatsoever.
In this particular case, you're achieving success through hard work, while they're not, and there were problems with communication (which weren't your fault at all). It's natural (although unnecessary) that the feeling that you're stabbing their backs arises, even if you're not doing it and you're telling them that you're not. They're insecure. They need this belief in order to feel better about themselves for now. It's like a person who believes a magician has super-natural powers even if the magician tells them that it's all about tricks - there are studies on this field, actually.
Give it some time. Either they will drop this defence mechanism and look toward you with respect, or... well, we never know what outcome a situation might have. |
|
|
| Floorfiller |
i think you should play it like a joke...
"why are you guys always busting my balls? who am i? tiest0r? if you guys would promote yourselves you could be playing gigs out with me and we'd all just have fun like back in the day." |
|
|
| Moral Hazard |
| Rob, you erred in your opening sentance, "two of my best friends..." Given the description of their actions and attitudes especially toward you they are not your friends and certainly not your best friends. A friend would be happy about your success even if it came on the feet of their own failures. I highly recommend you cut bait and move on. |
|
|
| bogartgreens |
| if they can't get over like this, then move on until they grow up and get back in touch with you...and if they dont then its no loss for you :rolleyes:..u deserve whatever you get for the effort u put in |
|
|
| Psiweaver |
| Yeah as many people have said already. There is little you can do if they don't want to change there mind as well as the fact that there is little you can do if they choose to be jealous of your hard work. I would put it on them and wait for them to make a move now since you seem to be trying very hard in the DJ side of things as well as to keep the friendship. |
|
|
| Ygrene |
| I think a stabbing is required. |
|
|
| DJ RJT |
Well - I guess you can't argue with consistency.
It still just doesn't feel right - Or rather I guess it just doesn't feel "good" to realize that some guys who I really thought were my closest friends have turned out not to be. |
|
|
| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ RJT
Well - I guess you can't argue with consistency.
It still just doesn't feel right - Or rather I guess it just doesn't feel "good" to realize that some guys who I really thought were my closest friends have turned out not to be. |
Of course it doesn't feel good but that doesn't stop it from being true, on the contrary, I've always found those feelings that are the most unpleasent are generally the most accurate. |
|
|
| Aquadyne |
ditch the losers and ride the gravy train of glory to stardom.
as a side note, chicago scene seems to be a lot less vicious than northwestern wisconsin. i suppose that's the price we pay for actually having more than one club every 100 square miles :D |
|
|
| medinaM5 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ygrene
I think a stabbing is required. |
+1 on that |
|
|
|
|
