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Cancer - Effected at a young age? Advice Appreciated! (pg. 2)
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| klingklang77 |
Sorry to hear about your friend. :(
i have never been in your situation, so i dont have much to say except i am sorry. |
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| kid nyce |
appreciate everyones support even though at times it goes unsaid
thanks again |
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| ludawg23 |
| Brian, I understand that you may not be dealing with this well but you're doing exactly the opposite, you are making this public and that's not right. You know her best friend is a member of these boards and to share this with other people is uncalled for...there's no way you can justify posting about other people's business. You mean well but at the same time, I don't think this is the best way of doing it. |
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| dj tek |
word..
my pops died of cancer and my moms lost one of her breast due to cancer [early stage]
best wishes to your friend. keep the faith and stay positive. |
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| Choobak |
Sorry to hear about this brian. :(
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago so I have a pretty good idea of what you're going through. There's definitely that stage of initial anger and frustration that comes along with the helplessness you're probably feeling. My only recommendation right now is to educate yourself about the cancer, which you seem to be doing, and always keep positive and supportive. Educating myself about the cancer really helped me cope with everything as it made me realize just how many people go through similar situations and that there is a giant support network out there...
The positive and supporting thing should go without saying. Don't ever let your friend get to the point where she feels like she's losing the battle against cancer. There is absolutely nothing worse in her situation than hopelessness. I remember that no matter how sick or weak my mom got throughout her treatment, she was always sure she would beat the cancer and I think that was one reason that she did... |
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| barosoap |
| quote: | Originally posted by kid nyce
^^pm'd |
Not sure why you edited. I thought your original response was well justified and that you didn't do anything disrespectful especially since she knows about it. In any case, our society has a real stigma against discussing disease and death. There's such a high value on preserving life that people often feel ashamed or embarrassed for being sick like it's a sign of weakness when they really shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with expressing fear, sadness, or anger. It's much better than being silent or even worse being in denial. Whether or not we like it bad things will happen to people we know and care about. That's life. Keeping it bottled up inside achieves nothing. She needs people who will be strong yet compassionate, and I think you reaching out to others for guidance will help achieve that. The last thing you want to do is pretend she's perfectly OK for your own selfish reasons of not being able to cope with reality. |
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| keithos27 |
Brian,
I’m very sorry to hear that your friend is battling with this. Some good news… I, myself, had testicular cancer 5 years ago (was 20, now I’m 25) and have been in remission since December of 2001 so there is definitely hope for all of us! The entire process sucks, but with family and friend’s support and love we can overcome A LOT!.. Things many of us thought not possible!
The best thing you can do is educate yourself, which it appears you are doing. Then show your support and love to your friend. Go visit her if possible… I mean it, if it really is possible go take a road trip and visit her. Call her to speak with her… Let her know how things are on the “outside.” When I was going through my rounds of chemo, I was cooped up in a chair for 8 hours a day stuck to an IV Mon-Fri for 1 week, then off 2 weeks, then on again for 1 week, off for 2 weeks, etc. I had to take time off from college and move back home to get my chemo and in a way you start to lose touch with what your world was like. It was great to have my college friends call me and let me know about a party they went to, or the stupid things they did, or where they went for dinner, etc. Just let her hear about normal life and let her know that she’s going to get back out there! When I would be on my 3rd week of the chemo round (the 2nd rest week) I would go up to Boston for a few days and see my friends… It was nice just to see some old faces and know that life still goes on and that I was missed and that people cared. It’s a nice mental break from all the drama that cancer brings to you and your family.
Your friend needs to stay positive and focused. With loving friends like you around she’ll be just fine! Talk to her often and ask her how’s she feeling, how is she coping, etc. For women I know the hair loss can be a much more serious and difficult thing to overcome… I mean I’m a guy and I was embarrassed to walk around looking white as a ghost and having no hair, so I can imagine that it can be even more difficult for a woman. Send her a mix CD of some good trance or any other music she likes. Buy her a cool video game. Get her some porn, lol. Just remind her that she’s a young woman and that everything will be alright. Buy her some tickets to the movie theater and tell her that on a day she’s feeling up to it she can use those tickets only if she lets you escort her. It’s key to stay active!
Anyway, I don’t mean to babble… Like I said, I got through this and so will she! In addition a friend of mine in Greece had something I believe that is similar to the type of cancer your friend has, and she got through it too! If you or your friend ever want to speak with me or my Greek friend I know that we are both available whenever. Please let me know. If you have any questions/concerns/etc let me know… I’m always here to help others… Just like they helped me when I had to go through this.
Keep a positive attitude and God bless!
-Keith |
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| kid nyce |
Thanks Keith, I appreciate your post!
It's good to know that there are others who are close to us who have endured such things, some go on without telling others that it's affected them. I wouldn't have imagined that Keith, and it's great to know we have someone amongst us who can rally the belief and be a true testament to look up to. I will keep all your recommendations in my mind and take things one day at a time.
Again, thank you for sharing your story. =) |
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| keithos27 |
| ANY time... It's definitely important for people to know that all walks of life can be effected by something like this, HOWEVER we can also GET THROUGH IT! |
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| Miss Bliss |
Brian, although I can't possibly know how you feel, I hope whatever you decide to do brings you (and more importantly, her) comfort and peace. Knowing you, I know you're never short on good ideas and a good heart, and I know your efforts will be appreciated.
| quote: | Originally posted by barosoap
Some people get involved with volunteer work, so they feel like they're doing something proactive to battle the disease. It's therapeutic for the patients, families, and friends. Or if you want to come by the hospital to have a better understanding of the treatment process, I could take you around MSK. Just being more informed and facing the reality also takes away some of the scariness and anxiety. |
You worked at MSK? My mom, dad, and I all work there (me just part-time for the summer) but with no patient contact. Although my Development office just did the Yankees Universe promotion with Johnny Damon for the Pediatric department; it was awesome and the kids loved it. |
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| kid nyce |
Thanks all//
Would also appreciate suggestions to include in a care package. Other than the obvious memorable things, is there anything cancer patients may need as a necessity that I could possibly provide? Maybe like a back rest or something? I really want it to be a care package full of useful stuff. |
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