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Wal-mart application ( priceless)
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| n!kola |
bored at work,thought i'd share a laugh...
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny:
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one
who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,
so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no, on my breaks - yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde,
super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely. |
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| evil_cookie |
I giggled
7/10
:D |
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| zokissima |
A 75 year old wrote that?
Saw it somewhere before. Kinda funny still. |
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| FunkyGroove |
| quote: | Originally posted by evil_cookie
I giggled
7/10
:D |
me too hehe |
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| VERTiG0 |
FW: FW: FW: FW: RE RE RE FW FW RE;ALFSDJAOSIFHDOUASDFH
goddamn email forwards |
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| vickyvale |
| quote: | Originally posted by n!kola
PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. |
^^haha! That'd be ideal.
LOL |
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| Cosmic Fur |
| quote: | Originally posted by shanny
Very clever! |
and also very fake.
While I don't doubt that someone grabbed a Walmart application form home and thought up the most clever answers they could have and posted it online, I doubt it was a 65-year old man, and I'm nearly certainly sure he didn't get hired because of how clever he was. |
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| El Kay Dee |
| moreover hes 75. cant really be workin at that age. ur allowed to work a total of 5 years after retirement at 65 |
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