|
Funny motivational
|
View this Thread in Original format
| djjonas |
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy. |
|
|
| diggerz |
Freakin Brilliant!
I could picture this happening, lmfao |
|
|
| Dirk W. |
| quote: | Originally posted by djjonas
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time --- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Laughing helps relieve tension; and hopefully, lengthens your life. Here is to a long and happy life. Enjoy. |
jonas, if you really did this, that is my hero story for the month of august. |
|
|
| davemolina |
Jonas,
You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar. |
|
|
| Zeonfiend |
| quote: | Originally posted by davemolina
Jonas,
You are the man!!! I'll forget you ever had a jotz avatar. |
He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??:p |
|
|
| Dirk W. |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zeonfiend
He tells people he was licking his own balls and you forget he had a jotz avatar??:p |
yes. whenever you call a complete stranger out like that for asking stupid things you get a gold star. i don't care if you have to take one in the process |
|
|
|
|
