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Profile Pet Peeves
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| Fir3start3r |
Happily, I at least used to play an instrument....:p
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Profile Pet Peeves
Date: 2006-10-09, 5:49AM EDT
This applies to Myspace, Facebook, AIM profiles, and any other online medium where narcissistic young people like me represent themselves. If you have one or more of the following statements in your profile, I probably hate you. In no particular order:
1) People who say "music is my life," but don't play an instrument or sing at all. Kind of lazy, no? Let me clue you in: your only relation to music is that you consume it. You are to TV on the Radio what a geek is to Star Wars: a hobbyist. Don't pretend to understand music you have no idea how to perform or analyze just because you have a humanities degree.
2) People who say they enjoy "eating, hanging out, movies, going out with friends." EVERYONE DOES THESE THINGS. Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should totally hang out!
3) People who say that they hate "fake people and liars." It doesn't help that they usually spell it "liers." Who ARE all these fake people running around that I keep hearing about? If everybody hates fake people, then how can there be anyone left to be fake? Maybe the fake people just don't have Myspace pages. Yeah, that must be it.
4) People with kids. I don't mean to sound like a prude, but when you bring a life into the world, the part of your life that involved Myspace is over. Or at least it should be. It pains me to think of the rearing your child will receive when his mom's profile still lists "clubbing and going out" as interests and has "riding dirty" as its embedded song. And enough with those creepy calendars that tell us how big the kid you are expecting has grown to. I try not to think about what is going on inside a person's body until I've at least met them in person.
(Side note: I haven't seen any yet, but it is inevitable that there will soon be baby Myspace pages, i.e. mothers setting up accounts for their babies and writing crap like "my mommy is typing this for me" in the "about me" section. These children will have all their relatives and playdates added as friends and will keep their accounts as they grow up and get old enough to use it themselves. They will never remember not having a Myspace page. This makes me fear for our nation's future.)
5) "You either hate me or love me." My attitude towards 99% of the people I meet is "don't give a ." To presume that you could command either my hatred or affection is incredibly arrogant. It also means you're a drama queen who can't stand to be ignored for five seconds.
6) "wut's up" You goddamned ing retard. One letter cannot possibly cost you enough time that it's worth sacrificing your dignity.
7) "I believe in (veganism, atheism, satanism, whatever). If you can't handle that, then you don't need to read any further." Pretty much the same as number 5. Stop trying to make your hobby sound like your life's consuming passion; I bet half your friends don't even know about your -ism and they "handle" you just fine. In fact, you're probably writing about it so confrontationally because you don't have the spine to say such things in real life to real people.
8) Jailbait. If you're 15 or under, then do us all a favor and get the off of Myspace. Now. Unless you like long van rides with forty year old Harry Potter enthusiasts, no good can come of it. It's not just concern for your safety that makes me say this; you are going through the stupidest years of your life, and broadcasting them into cyberspace. If there was a google-cached copy of all the idiotic things I wrote in my friend's year books, I'd probably want to hang myself. Which brings us to...
9) Dead kids. Wow. You died. That sucks, it really does. Now could one of your surviving relatives have the decency to take your page down? I know it gives your friends a place to type that they "miss u so much" (Jesus the Jew, can't you even spell correctly for your friend's EULOGY??), but you're giving me the creeps, smiling at me from that profile picture like you're still among the living. Exactly how long is your grieving family going to leave that page up? Forever? Forever-ever? Ever-ever? I guess your friends will finally have some closure on your death when they move you out of their top 8. I just really hope that when I die, there won't be an eternal monument to all the terrible bands I liked right before I kicked.
Well, there are more of these, but you get the point. Please, people, remember that these websites are just shrines we set up for ourselves. The more effort you put in to showing the world how unique you are is probably proportionate to your superficiality and egotism. Just tell me enough information to let me know if we could hang out. And don't worry, I'm not a fake person. Or a lier.
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>>Source<< |
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| VERTiG0 |
| This sums up my thoughts very nicely |
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| Misanthrope |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
btw, when people say this, "Kind of lazy, no?". IT IS INCORRECT ENGLISH.
STOP SAYING IT.
you want to go home, no?
bahahhahah |
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| kanaytochyo |
| I agree with some stuff this man has to say... to me seems like he cares too much, and is taking it hard on himself.. ch-take it easyy!!! ... Breath in.. Breath out.. :gsmile: |
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| dallastar |
i hate those PM's I get - espcially from Nigerian men (and NO I am not being racist) I get so many Pm's "I want to meet you, can I come to Canada to find true love with you?"
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hi angel
Body: hi
am new on the site..a friend of mine told me to try it out ..and was going through some pics ..and WOW !! i saw this beauty that made my heart melt ...did u hurt yourself when u fell down from the sky?...you are my definition of pure perfection...craving to know you...
Dan.....
Hi
Body: is loving seen your face, am solomon seeking a babe of your kind how do you think about this? am a citizen of nigeria and this is my cell phone no. +(phone number)2*****************. hope to here from you soonest
hi there
Body: are you cristhian?
wana be friend?
Hello,
i think you have the most beautiful profile on this site.I Am saint frank by name currently leaving in Nigeria I
am 28 years old, male am cool no doubt about it, i work in shopping complex in my home town, I'm about 5.56 ight with black eye's and black hair fair in complexion, am single willing to meet the very right one as my friend a very serious relationship or marriage, cause we are
in a very small world it dose't matter afar it take me away from you the most important thing is that did your
profile match with mine, if every other guy's have being giving you a very Hard and defficult time why not just try me out i know there we be a very big deffrent's for both of us to chare, i dont really have much to say but just reply me if you know you are intrested, or you can get to know more about me through my E-mail
or
[email protected][/email]
if you have one try to join me out there and have nice conversation with me, am please to meet you.
when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look beside u & i will b there.
Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur
life.but only tru friends will leave
foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left
urs in mine,
LOT'S OF LOVE FROM
SAINT FRANK
hello
Body: hello sweet angel
i will like to know more about you..my name is stephen george
i work in tower alluminium in west africa..i am 20 years old...i am an honest man
you can think of..
i will like to hear your reply as soon as posible lovely angel you are just like guiding angel
from above...you er too much for a man to have as a wife so cuite and buityfull if you don't mind
these is my yahoomail his email or if you make use of hot mail .....his [email][email protected]
regards to your loving ones.
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| psiico111 |
| Wow, those are creepy. I wonder if those guys actually do get to meet women that way? Like spam, send enough and eventually you get someone dumb enough to click on it. Naw, no one could be that dumb. |
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| *~LiSa-LoO~* |
| My pet peeves: profiles |
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| Nikitha |
| quote: | Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~*
My pet peeves: profiles |
hmmmmmmmmmm
http://www.myspace.com/lisaloo19
interesting!!!!!!!!
and i see you also have a facebook page....
HMMMMMMMM! very VERY interesting...
trying to say profiles are your pet peeves.... you ma'am are clearly a dirty hooker LIAR face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE NIKKI! |
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| jon jon |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nikitha
you ma'am are clearly a dirty hooker LIAR face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lol aww owned |
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| shanny |
| quote: | Originally posted by jon jon
bad taste |
Put Franks Red Hot On It, it will taste better. |
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| Spam |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nikitha
trying to say profiles are your pet peeves.... you ma'am are clearly a dirty hooker LIAR face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE NIKKI! |
Shouldn't that be... "LIER" face?
el oh el |
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