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Children and cursing.
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| Akridrot |
OK, I want to know other people's stance on this. How they'd feel about it from a parental standpoint and how they'd feel about it as a child.
I believe that all children will curse and say adult things behind their parent's backs. Didn't you? This is universal human behavior.
This leads to "Pretend to be a 'good' kid in front of parents and teachers, go wild with other kids." But during the teen years, and beyond, when parents might want to grow closer to their kids or know what's going on in their heads... they will be shut out because their children have learned at an early age how to hide secrets from mom and dad.
Most of us agree on this, right? It's awkward to talk about certain things with your parents, because you simply aren't used to it, right?
Now, I say that if you let your kids curse or speak their mind in your household and told them to behave outside, then you will have a closer relationship with them.
I have experienced this IN PERSON, when I was around 10. I had friends who could say WHATEVER THE they wanted to in front of their mothers, while my mother would slap for me for saying "" (she still doesn't like when I say that, although she curses like a sailor...:rolleyes: .).. these guys were normal, children who loved their parents. Nothing was wrong with them.
1. Do you think this is a good idea?
2. How do you think you'd grow up if this was the rule in your household?
Personally, I don't think I'd be as distant from my mother as I am now if she wasn't so restrictive and hypocritical. Now she wants to share secrets and with me, but it just won't work... too awkward now. |
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| Orbital32 |
| i say it has to be fair. Let the kids curse and Let the parents tap that ass with a nice leather belt. |
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| AndreaCKY772 |
i mean from my experience, i've hid a lot from my mom. i never swear in front of her and even when i was younger i never swore around her. i always was "innocent".
if i was a mother, unfortunatley my kid will be exposed at an early age to profanity from other kids. now, i would not promote the usage of profanity for my child. if i caught my child swearing, i'd obviously tell him to watch his mouth but i don't think there's much use in trying to suppress it because they will do the same on the outside. i will watch MY mouth and not swear in front of the kid, hoping to set a good example. |
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| Akridrot |
But then again, if you allowed free speech to children, or were allowed free speech.. what happens when there is a disagreement?
I strongly believe that when the speech is uninhibited on the child's side, you get to see their true mental growth much faster. You can talk to them on the level they are ready for and not come off as fake or too out of touch.
They will give you a better insight into their mind in the first place, allowing you guide them on issues that might not have been raised in a more restrictive household. Following me?
I welcome any criticism, because I am really think this approach is superior to most.. |
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| DrunkenMaster16 |
I've always been profane, My parents never encouraged or accepted this and I was beaten as a child for it. I totally agree, I should also use more disgression as to when I blurt out profanity but I don't because of how I am. I realised at a young age I could take what ever was thrown at me and then some. This didn't help with the licks id get because my father had to find new and inventive things to use to punnish me.
I believe if they just explained to me at that age that profanity is only to be used in time of humor or in anger rather than day to day as just another word that pissed some people off. Id use it less now, but alas they didn't so I am who the I am today. Honestly it is all about disgression of use and who your around or what environment you happen to be in. As a prime example my sisters boyfriend was working on a oil rig the otherday and as soon as he came home still acting like he was on the rig, cursing a up a storm his mother said "Get out my house, when your ready to act like a normal human being and respect my house you may enter." this continued until he finally after months of this same crap happening realised its all about using your disgression.
I have a tendency to blurt out things and I apologise when I know / realise it is the wrong place and or time to say such things. So id say beating a child doesn't work, but teaching them disgression from a young age will allow them to see when it is fit to use profanity.
I need a ing cigar now. As a parent id try to teach them peacefully at first but if they continue to use profanity in ways im not happy with, im gonna lay down the law with a belt or a shoe. (might be a good thing im not a parent) |
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| SillySilvia |
Ok, let me throw this out there.
I'm a parent to 2 kids(boy,10 girl 4 1/2). My son hears the words and sometimes laughs and goes "oooohhhhhh, you/she/he said a bad word" and I'm like "cuz I'm/theyre an adult".
I let him say other variations of words...fudge, flip, dang, shoot, etc. I tell him when he's older he can say the "real" words. I also tell him not to use the words towards a person. Example..."you flippin dork" would NOT be acceptable. Now if he was mad from a situation and said "that was flippin wrong" then thats ok. Its all in the text of which its used.
to hear kids use curse words with anger towards another kid, to me is completely unacceptable. Using it to describe something is ok but it still makes me cringe. I get that they want to be cool so they use them but that doesnt mean they should use them.
I could go on but I'll start with that. |
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| Jake Benson |
From reading the first post alone, I'd have to say that your tactic should work (contribute to bringing the parents and children closer) in and of itself, but it probably won't be the solution to bringing them closer.
From my experience, my mom wouldn't let me curse as a kid at first but gradually broke down after a and I could get away with everything by 13. But ultimately, what brought me closer to her was allowing me to have my freedom and escape (i.e. letting me go out late at night to clubs/raves). |
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| weymouth |
If and when I have children I don't want them to curse at all. I would hope to instill in my children that cursing is a sign of ignorance and stupidity. If you can't express yourself without cursing then there is no need to say anything. Granted I'm old school in thinking that people that curse heavily are unintelligent and ignorant.
I'll try to tell them that if you seperate your actions from the every day person that people will notice and you will get further in life. No company wants to hire a man or woman that can't carry on a conversation without swearing every other word. Now if my child wants to become Tony Montana I suppose he/she needs to swear well. |
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| wienerschnitzel |
| quote: | Originally posted by weymouth
If and when I have children I don't want them to curse at all. I would hope to instill in my children that cursing is a sign of ignorance and stupidity. If you can't express yourself without cursing then there is no need to say anything. Granted I'm old school in thinking that people that curse heavily are unintelligent and ignorant.
I'll try to tell them that if you seperate your actions from the every day person that people will notice and you will get further in life. No company wants to hire a man or woman that can't carry on a conversation without swearing every other word. Now if my child wants to become Tony Montana I suppose he/she needs to swear well. |
i agree wholeheartedly, i have a 6 month old girl and i'm terrfifed of what it will be like when she's a teenager. I WAS the girl that snuck out the window and smoked weed in the park all night and drank 'till she puked and so on and so forth, the only thing i didn't do was have sex, and somehow, i manged to wait until i met my husband. Anyhow, i want to establish a relationship with her that allows her to feel comfortable for her to talk to me about ANYTHING without me crucifying her. At the same time, i want to be a parent to her and teach her as much as i know and try and teach her the diffrence of right and wrong. The worst thing you can do for a child is be their best friend, they have plenty of those. They need a parent/s that can provide disapline when necessary (which is to your discretion i suppose)
good luck, eh? if i find out how to do this, i'll let y'all know. |
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| tubularbills |
i think i agree w/ silvia.
i never swore in front of my parents at all. in fact, i tried saying "Crap" once, and got yelled at for it. the only time i got away with saying and was when my dog attacked me. so hardly worth it.
it wasn't until i was around 18/19 and moved out and in college that i started swearing in front of my parents. but it wasn't excessive or anything. it would just be part of my normal conversation, "oh man i hated that goddamn test so much" et.... etc...
when little kids do it, sometimes it's funny, but most of the time it's not.
my niece told her teacher that she had a fat ass. she heard it from her dad [my brother] telling her mom that same thing as a joke.
honestly, i think it's just about self control. and wait until you are near an adult before being "allowed" to swear in front of parents.
but i did hide it for a long time - i swore in first grade one time [i said "holy "] and this teacher threatened to make me eat dirt if i said it again. i didn't swear until 3rd grade! and since then, it's pretty much just been part of my regular vocabulary, i suppose. |
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| DjConfessions |
| cussing is beautiful |
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| eRRaTiK |
| quote: | Originally posted by AndreaCKY772
if i was a mother, unfortunatley my kid will be exposed at an early age to profanity from other kids. |
"profanity" can be substituted with
drugs
sex
violence
crime
other behaviour
and that pretty much sums up kids today. |
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