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Moments that have shaped your "current self"
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| Lira |
As we live, we choose and act accordingly. And, as we do it, we (unconsciously) define and choose who we want to be. We might choose not to lie because we don't want to become a liar (even if no one else finds out), instead of not lying just because "it is wrong" (although this idea is often embedded in most people's concept of why they don't want to be liars anyway).
Do you agree with this way of thinking? If you do, what moments do you think have defined your current self? Don't worry if your post becomes too long, I'm really looking forward to reading your stories :)
Personally, I think there are 3 major events in my life that have been crucial:
- Not cheating on my girlfriend (2006): I grew up being told by my dad that I should try to score as many girls as possible before marriage. It was really, really, obnoxious. I remember I once went to a social gathering with him (and without my girlfriend) and he asked me why I wasn't trying to
pull the birds . God, I hated that.
But, last year, as my girlfriend and I had some problems, I became smitten by some other girl and, in a party my girlfriend had not attended, I realised that this girl not only fancied me but was trying to draw my attention. So, I thought Kay, so what would Jesus do? ... I waited for the DJ to drop some killer drum'n'bass and started bouncing around the dancefloor. Had I decided to end my relationship right there, I would've seen myself both as a cheater and as a quitter, running away from my girlfriend instead of solving our issues.
- My trip to Monte Alegre (2005): Monte Alegre is a small city in Northern Goiás. It was the quintessential small Brazilian city - around the church (which was rather big), there was a really charming school1, a police department (which was just a room), a hospital and little else. No library. No internet provider. No cable TV with hundreds of channels. One of my best friends then looked at me and said -
Lira, we're lucky, you see? Sure, we can just chill out here and enjoy this good life whenever we want, but we're also part of a small part of the world population that has access to higher education, computers, imported books and stuff that isn't being pushed down our throats by the country's biggest TV channels. What are you going to do with this opportunity? Will you keep it all to yourself, or will you do something for a change? . I remember I just replied, Well, mate, what would Jesus do? I reckon I'd do that, yeah — since then, I've started to study harder and harder (although I've always been a bit nerdy), trying to share what I study in some way (since last semester, my friends and I have organised "clandestine lectures", for example, and I decided to become a teacher/professor).
- Choosing Japanese Language as my major (2003): No, I don't think Jesus would've done this. At first, I just wanted to study languages (and linguistics) and the Japanese embassy seemed to offer a lot of support to the students of this language. And, the first time I applied for a scholarship was a great, great moment in my life - I actually start counting my life from that point on.
I can't express how grateful I was for the people helping me (giving me extra classes, bringing me books when I least expected), and being locked in a room studying 24/7 to the extent I had virtually memorised everything I needed to know for that test. I was eventually approved, but couldn't get the scholarship because of some bureaucratic problem in Japan.
It felt great, though.
- Being expelled from Catholic School (~1991): Yes, I managed to get myself expelled from a Catholic School when I was 8 :D Somehow, the nuns didn't quite appreciate the fact that I spent most of my religious classes talking about Buddhism whether or not Jesus had really existed. However, in that same year, I had decided to join the Military School and, once again, there I was, studying as hard as a 8 year old can study, so I could pass the entrance test. I ended up having Gastritis at very tender age, losing most of my friends and, for the first time in my life, I achieved something I'm proud of.
- My Russian Phase (1999~2001): This was my entrance, so to speak, to the world of dating... having grown up with a complete drama queen (my mother), I was completely immature and sucked at dealing with my emotions. So, I learnt what it was like to like someone, to be liked by someone and what is necessary to mess everything up :D
Since then, I've become a more laid back person :)
Looking back, there are tons of stories I could add but... it's your turn now, I'd love to hear your stories :)
1 I don't know where the other schools mentioned in the Wikipedia article are. I only saw one school there. |
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| Sunsnail |
| Why can't I highlight your quotation marks? |
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| NeoPhono |
Not exactly three exact points in time...but the three most "shaping" points of my life.
1. Getting into a great engineering school...and completely hating it I got into the school of my "dreams" ala the University of Illinois to study computer engineering. It was a great school for engineering and I thought my "life was set." However, I quickly learned that I absolutely hated everything about it. I struggled on for three years, not even thinking I should change what I was doing. Finally I had enough, and I decided that I'd switch back to what I had wanted to do since I was a kid, but was talked out of by my parents; medicine. It took a change of schools and a master's degree to overcome by piss-poor engineering grades, but I'm in med school now and I love it.
2. Being a "club kid" I've since calmed way down from the peak of my clubbing days, but towards the end of my period as a regular clubber I met the woman that eventually became my wife. We met at a Christopher Lawrence show and it was all class (as opposed to other girls I met at shows). No making out on the dance floor, no hook up that night, just a night of hot, sweaty dancing followed by a phone number exchange and dates to follow. If I hadn't loved trance and dancing, I'd have never met her.
3. My time in Italy I was lucky enough to be born into an Italian family, so I've been fortunate to either visit or live there on eight separate occasions. Besides learning another language, I think it's helped to broaden my horizons and learn how the rest of the world works. I think many Americans are trapped in the US bubble and never get to interact with or learn how others think. I know there have been many instances where I've been able to see without the "US blinders" on, where others that I know haven't. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sunsnail
Why can't I highlight your quotation marks? |
Not sure... probably because of the html tag I used, but I didn't know about this bug. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by NeoPhono
Not exactly three exact points in time...but the three most "shaping" points of my life.
1. Getting into a great engineering school...and completely hating it I got into the school of my "dreams" ala the University of Illinois to study computer engineering...
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Are you talking about UIUC ? That's one fine engineering school :eyes: |
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| dj tek |
being in & out of central booking like 6 times for stupid , mainly weed & suspended license... you really learn to appreciate freedom once it gets taken away from you...
seeing my friend come out of jail [upstate] after doin 2 - 4.... dude has turned his life around and became a new person.. we were both ups and i was sent to the motherland for 2yrs and he got locked up.. then we both met up when we returned to NYC... way he changed himself was inspiring for me..
growing up soaked in hop hop culture... hip hop isnt something you do, its something you are.. from the art, music, & dancing down to the attitude and the way you carry yourself.. believing in your craft and knowing how to rock it without sacrifice.
clubbing @ twilo... i was lucky enough to be a part of the legend that was twilo.. i used to stand on the main speaker nearest to the dj booth and just observe the pro jocks do their thing, learned alot about the critical elements in djing dance music and the techicality behind it. and twilo overall was just a magical place, you had the breakers, glowstickers, dancers and causal party ppl all under one roof without a single problem every fri. let alone the talent that used to come thru there.
my ex gf.... lived with her for 4yrs and tho i can look at it as a waste of time, what i really gained from it was being able to understand how female mind works [in general] and has really helped me become much more of a patient person. plus to take abortions more seriously..
meeting my current gf... met her @ a rave both on pills and it proved that meeting someone under the influence at a party CAN lead to something more serious and its been that way for 6yrs. best thing to ever happened to me shes like a light that guides no matter how corny that may sound.
aaaaand.. losing my father at a very young age.... ive learned to become a man on my own without any role models or father figures [im an only child] my mom did the best she can to raise me right but she can never replace the role of a father, so im pretty proud of that fact.. i understood when 2Pac says "i finally understand for a woman it aint easy tryin to raise a man...."
few samples yo |
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| NeoPhono |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
Are you talking about UIUC ? That's one fine engineering school :eyes: |
Yeah. I can't tell you how excited I was to get in. It's a great school, but I just didn't like the idea of being a computer engineer after I truly began to realize what it would entail. I think because it is such a "prestigious" school, I stuck it out as an engineering student longer than I should have. |
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| beats and beeps |
| i don't have much shape do I? |
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| david.michael |
The main "defining moments" of my life that I can think of all involve being cheated on.
Teaches you a LOT, IMO. |
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| beats and beeps |
| quote: | Originally posted by david.michael
The main "defining moments" of my life that I can think of all involve being cheated on.
Teaches you a LOT, IMO. |
explain how plz |
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| david.michael |
Teaches you to be careful who you trust, that everybody lies, not to allow yourself to be a doormat, that nothing is ever what it seems, and that you never truly know anyone. Amongst other things, but I won't allow myself to be at liberty to discuss them.
edit - can teach you distrust, but can also make you stronger... not to sound cliche. |
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| Yan |
Great thread, Lira. :)
Hmmm...
1. Meeting Serge (aka RaverSurge) (1997): I know some of you will find this extremely amusing what with Serge being made fun of on the boards. Fortunately for me, I was in 7th grade at the time (as was he). At the time, I was a stuck-up, serious kid who borderlined emo status. That was all until this "other Russian boy" transferred into my middle school. I heard small things about him from some of my (few, few) friends but was simply appalled (for some odd reason) by his behavior when I first had the displeasure of seeing him. "He's giving the few Russian kids that go to this school district a bad name" is what I thought to myself. Oddly enough, it was gaming that brought us together. Found out one day that he was much into it and from there we became really close friends. If I never met Serge, I would have remained uptight and stingy; He really showed me that it was okay to NOT grow up and to care much less about things that normally negatively affected me, mentally and physically (basically, destroy your self esteem). We're still really close friends and for that I'm glad.
2. My father purchasing a NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) (1990): Less than a year into our lives in the US, my father decided to purchase this "new" technology (to us, at least). Little did I know, gaming would become my safe haven in the decade+ to come. From there, it became a hobby (later on an addiction but no longer so) as I picked up game after new game. Then new consoles started appearing on the scene and I just HAD to get them.
Gaming has helped me in 3 ways: 1) It was an escape from everything. I'd lose myself in the software and have myself a great time. 2) My hand-eye coordination has become really good over the years. So have my puzzle-solving skills. 3) The people I've met along the way. Some of you guys and girls are the most fascinating folks I've come to know. What better reason than this?
3. Breaking up with my girlfriend (2005): I loved her, I did. I didn't know at the time (cuz I was still looking for "proof" that I felt that way for her. That I should take this relationship past the first year and beyond) but I know now and that's pretty much all that matters. I'll always have some amount of "love" love for her, no matter the time passed. It's just impossible to not get that dull pain in your chest if you ever happen to hear her name, see a picture, remember a memory, etc...
Subconsciously, I knew that if I remained with her, I'd have remained back home during the college year; It would have made my day being able to see her whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, that was hindering my academic career. At home, I was getting lazy and my grades were suffering. After I broke up with her, I still longed to be with her (I really do miss her friendship) but I knew that that was pretty much impossible. Still, my grades are doing great now. I've met a lot of people at my college since and so I can't totally regret separating with her.
(Some of you might read the last one as an "excuse" but I'm just going to go ahead and say that I really cared about her. I don't think there's a right or wrong decision in that case.)
Thanks for reading, if you did! |
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