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a story
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| tonydanza |
One summer, in a misguided attempt to enlarge his shriveled member, an apprentice magician had spoken an invocation wrongly, and turned his dick into a 9 inch dolphin. He made do as best he could, and traveled swiftly to the red light district of the merfolk's underwater city.
Therein, he found a modest whorehouse, and for 7 sand dollars purchased an hour--anything goes--with Sylvia, the filthiest mermaid south of the equator. His flippered chirruped and squeaked with delight as it easily entered her fishy treasure cove, distended and loose as it was from years of loveless sailor poundings.
At the close of the hour he had came thrice; one time for each of her holes. Her toothless slutmouth swallowed three quarters of the dolphincock, but, although she was a professional, she gagged slightly when its blowhole blasted a stream of hot goo down her throat. The load hung suspended in her mouth, refusing to dissipate in the briny seawater. Sylvia gulped it down like a champ, and swam off to cry as the magician made his way landward, leaving the cash on her mother-of-pearl dresser.
The apprentice kept his aqua for a few more months, trying it out on a centaur maiden a few times. She had had a fetish for this sort of thing, and obsessed over the porpoise penis, but their relationship did not last.
With the changing of the leaves, the apprentice recanted the spell and returned to his life (and cock) as before. He resumed his studies with renewed ferver, but would never forget that one fateful summer, the summer of the dolphin dick. |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
wtf?
i was expecting a point or a punchline. |
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| deceptikon |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
wtf?
i was expecting a point or a punchline. |
+1 |
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| gumble |
| dolphins arent porpoises. gosh! idiot! |
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| Deeman |
| Yeah i saw this episode on Bold and the Beautiful, so touching!! :wtf: |
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| MiSSyM |
:nervous: |
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| Aesthetic |
he obviously never saw ace ventura 1
| quote: | Originally posted by gumble
dolphins arent porpoises. gosh! idiot! |
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| Deeman |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aesthetic
he obviously never saw ace ventura 1 |
Bahahahahaha what a friggin great scene that was!
Ace Ventura: [with a German accent] How can I be getting zis vork done wit all de shouting? Control de shouting?
Reporter: Who's That?
Ace Ventura: Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me.
Reporter: What happened to the other trainer?
Ace Ventura: Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me? Seven years I am wit Siegfried.
[he holds up only four fingers]
Ace Ventura: Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone.
Reporter: [skeptically] Where is Snowflake?
Ace Ventura: Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?
[shouts]
Ace Ventura: Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. I am saying to Snowflake, "Akay!... Akay Akay Akay?" und he is saying "AKay Akay!" und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" und you can quote him!
[Ace spits]
Bhahahahahaha fking pissa! |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Deeman
Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone. |
quite possibly the worst german accent written down in the history of the pencil. |
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| Deeman |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
quite possibly the worst german accent written down in the history of the pencil. |
Hahaha i know, WTF accent is that? It's pretty far from friggin German! Looks more like Swedish or some |
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| Aesthetic |
haha. your gun is digging into my hip
| quote: | Originally posted by Deeman
Bahahahahaha what a friggin great scene that was!
Ace Ventura: [with a German accent] How can I be getting zis vork done wit all de shouting? Control de shouting?
Reporter: Who's That?
Ace Ventura: Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me.
Reporter: What happened to the other trainer?
Ace Ventura: Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me? Seven years I am wit Siegfried.
[he holds up only four fingers]
Ace Ventura: Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone.
Reporter: [skeptically] Where is Snowflake?
Ace Ventura: Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?
[shouts]
Ace Ventura: Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. I am saying to Snowflake, "Akay!... Akay Akay Akay?" und he is saying "AKay Akay!" und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" und you can quote him!
[Ace spits]
Bhahahahahaha fking pissa! |
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| Deeman |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aesthetic
haha. your gun is digging into my hip |
Einhorn is MAN!!!!
(cut to shower scene) |
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