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I do not know what happened, (pg. 2)
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| me@t k@tie |
Okay, from what I understand:
- Orko was drunk
- He was going to come to a jungle event last night with Monananana and I
- I waited for him to meet me at the subway station
- He never showed up
- He got more drunk and made this drunken thread
:conf: |
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| SasH21 |
| quote: | Originally posted by me@t k@tie
Okay, from what I understand:
- Orko was drunk
- He was going to come to a jungle event last night with Monananana and I
- I waited for him to meet me at the subway station
- He never showed up
- He got more drunk and made this drunken thread
:conf: |
LOL:haha: |
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| El K Dee |
| he ended up at scallywags thinking it was sunday and the Brazilian GP was on |
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| MikeyN |
| quote: | Originally posted by El K Dee
he ended up at scallywags thinking it was sunday and the Brazilian GP was on |
HAH ! |
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| thesauce23 |
| WHAAAAA HOPPPPPENED? |
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| Misanthrope |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
let me know when you figure it out. thanks. |
oh I do know the details! I just don't see the need for him to create a thread to draw more attention. All he had to do was text or call one of us. I can't stand it when stupid offline happens and somehow gets posted online for no apparent reason. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. |
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| El K Dee |
| quote: | Originally posted by thesauce23
WHAAAAA HOPPPPPENED? |
....this one time, i hired a whore and when we started goin at it, i farted in her face....:nervous:
...then she told me she was a he...
Dean: hahahah u stupid ****** |
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| Misanthrope |
| still paying for sex liam? |
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| Cosmic Fur |
| quote: | Originally posted by Misanthrope
still paying for sex liam? |
Are you kiddin? Liam has a lifetime subscription. |
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| Misanthrope |
I think he's gets a huge discount at flapbass.
you know to make up for what he lacks. |
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| Djsketchbag |
| quote: | Originally posted by Misanthrope
still paying for sex liam? |
Happy Ending $5 :toothless |
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| me@t k@tie |
Here, Liam. I thought this might be useful to you:
| quote: | Homemade Device
by ErnstBlofeld©
The plantain vagina in my opinion has to be the best homemade male masturbation device that I have ever used. Forget about buying expensive artificial vaginas that are out on the market. Most of them hardly work at all, they don't satisfy, and they will lighten your wallet! Unfortunately, men don't have the sensual luxury women have in that they can use a myriad amount of vibrators, dildoes, double dongs, and even cucumbers to get off on. Sure, men can stick a dildo or butt plug up their asses, but if they are not inclined towards the anal arts, then what's the use?
The plantain vagina is not only natural, but it's inexpensive! The plantains go for about 3 or 4 per U.S. dollar. Plantains can be found in the United States in Hispanic (Latin American) bodegas (a Spanish store) or markets, and if you live near either a Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, Dominican community you will always find tons of plantains so cheap that you would think they're giving them away!
For our randy British wanker cousins, you chaps can go into any West Indian market in your UK towns to find plantains. All West Indian people like Jamaicans, Barbarians, Bahamians, and even Brazilians eat and love plantains. Similarly in the US, and Canada plantains can also be found in West Indian / Jamaican markets if you have them in your towns. Many regular super markets also carry plantains, and I have even seen them at a "Lucky's" super market in Orange County, California when I was visiting that part of the country.
To start,7 let's get some things straight.
According to the University of Florida, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, plantains are classified thusly:
"Plantains are hybrid bananas in which the male flowering axis is either degenerated, lacking, or possesses relicts of male flowers. Plantains are always cooked before consumption and are higher in starch than bananas."
The fruit you want to get for the plantain vagina is not the common banana that is eaten as is. Common bananas are too small and would break if you put your in them. You want to use the fruit that is usually cooked – but in our case, we are not going to cook it, but instead we are going to look for one that is at the right stage of ripeness to make your vagina. The following list underneath can give you an idea of the right plantain to pick at the perfect stage.
Green Plantain: Not the one to use! Starchy with a taste more comparable to a potato. Use in recipes that require a starchy vegetable taste. Pulp is ivory color and firm and too hard for a vagina like feel.
Yellow Plantain: This is the one to use for the plantain vagina! Yellow skin may be freckled with black spots. The pulp inside is semi soft to soft and it can be easily pushed out.
Black: Not the one to use! Too soft and yucky looking. The black stage ranges from heavy black spotting to a fully black plantain.
So, as a reminder we want to use the yellow plantain with freckled black spots. This plantain has the right amount of ripeness to fool your into believing that it's in a real !
Ok, so now we know which plantain to get! Follow these instructions to create the ultimate in natural masturbation technology!
1. Go to the market and look for plantain that is fairly large in size. Pick a plantain that you can visualize your erect fitting snuggly inside. Make sure the plantain is somewhat ripe. If not too ripe, take it home and put it in a brown paper bag so that it could ripen for about a couple of days. Wash the outside of the plantain with some mild soap if you want. Dry it with paper towels.
2. The plantain should be ready to use when the outside skin is not too green or not too black. It should be somewhat yellow with a little black spots here and there. It should also be somewhat soft to the touch.
3. The banana leaf consists of a long, tube-like structure called a sheath. Your will go inside the sheath. To accomplish this, you cut the end tip of the plantain that is large enough for your to fit into. Not too loose, and not too tight that your won't fit into it. When you have cut the end to a size that you think will fit your cock, you then squeeze out the plantain pulp. Gently squeeze the pulp starting at the front and work your way towards the top. It's a good idea to squeeze the pulp out in sections using a soft squeezing motion. We don't want to break the plantain skin.
4. When all the pulp has been squeezed out, your plantain vagina is ready to use. Since you are going to be pumping it furiously we recommend that you punch a few little holes towards the top of the plantain. The reason we do this is for some of the air inside the plantain to escape when you are thrusting in and out. If the holes are not punched, there will be air pockets, and the plantain will have a tendency to break.
5. How do you use the plantain vagina? First, lube your cock. The walls of the plantain contain a deliciously slippery natural substance that feels like the inside of a real vagina. All you have to do is wet your with a little water or spit. Saliva is the best lubricant to use, although one can use KY or Astroglide mixed with a little spit. Believe it when we say it – this will be one of the best orgasms you will ever have. It's simple, you lube your hard cock, then you insert it into the opening of the plantain. At this moment, you slide your into the sheath as if you had a condom on. After this you will use both your hands to move the sheath up and down your until you feel like your are going to climax. The orgasm is unbelievable!
One can also run the plantain skin under hot water to emulate the temperature of a real vagina. This is optional. In addition, one can place the plantain skin between a mattress or anything that will hold it in place. By doing this, your hands can be free, and you can pump it in the usual way you a .
Don't be alarmed if your is covered in some of the plantain pulp. The pulp contains natural enzymes and proteins that will only lubricate and nourish your cock. |
:gsmile: |
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