|
The best Craigslist post EVER!
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Paradox Lost |
This guy was attempting to sell some basic cinder blocks over CL, and apparently, he received one-too-many of the wrong kind of e-mail. You can tell where the new and colorful edit came in.
Although the posting has long since expired, it's received plenty of circulation.
Warning: Lots of profanity:
| quote: | I have approximately 275 to 300 cinder blocks for sale. They are standard 8"x8"x16". They cost about $1.75 plus delivery fees if you buy them somewhere else. I'm asking $1.00 per block.
You pick them up and move them yourself.
Please don't waste my ing time with endless emails. These are plain old cinderblocks, for sake. You don't need to do an engineering study on the feasibility of using these ing things as building material. That's what they're for, you ing idiots. Now listen, we're all busy people here. You want the blocks? Come get the ing blocks and give me one dollar for every block you take. How ing hard is that? You don't have to tell me what you're building. I don't give a . I'm not interested in helping you build it either. Why? Because I don't give a . I just want to get these ing things off my property. So if you want them, get the over here with some money and take them. The next ing moron that emails me with "I'm building a blah blah blah, and was wondering if..." The answer is NO. Come get the ing blocks and build it yourself. If I knew how to do masonry, don't you think I'd be using the blocks myself instead of selling them for half ing price? What the is wrong with you people? The next one of you ing jackasses that emails me with some sob-story bull is getting his email address added to the North American Man/Boy Love Association mailing list.
You want the blocks? Come get the blocks, and don't with me! |
|
|
|
| Ian |
| . I actually need about 200 blocks to build a wall in the garden. I wonder if he'd have mailed them to england :( :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
|
|
| rose |
| :haha: looks like someone was having a good day. |
|
|
| MrJiveBoJingles |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian
. I actually need about 200 blocks to build a wall in the garden. I wonder if he'd have mailed them to england :( :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
| quote: | | You pick them up and move them yourself. |
:clown: |
|
|
| Silky Johnson |
| LOL! So awesome. I feel like I wrote it myself! |
|
|
| kadomony |
sounds like when i worked retail.
majority of customers would give me this whole backstory on why they wanted what they were looking for. |
|
|
| verndogs |
| funny, but I've seen better ones |
|
|
| Cro_Addict |
old but good
| quote: | Advice for woman seeking $500k+ earning man
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth. |
The reply:
| quote: |
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I?m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here?s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here?s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here?s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity?in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won?t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you?re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold?hence the rub?marriage. It doesn?t make good business sense to ?buy you? (which is what you?re asking) so I?d rather lease. In case you think I?m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It?s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as ?articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful? as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn?t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn?t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you?re going about it the right way. Classic ?pump and dump.? I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. |
|
|
|
| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cro_Addict
|
LMAO!
| quote: | | if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know |
:stongue: |
|
|
| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
LOL! So awesome. I feel like I wrote it myself! |
Don't flatter yourself.
:p |
|
|
| miamitrance04 |
| that reply was sooo freaking awesome hahaha "you're a depreciating asset" hahhaa |
|
|
| wotyzoid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cro_Addict
|
HAHAH OWNAGE!! Did she reply?? |
|
|
|
|
