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jerry jerry!!
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| Volksjoolz |
this is an e.mail i just received!!
its a java script on a jerry springer show!!:D :D
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! jason is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his jeff. So everyone please put your hands together for jason!
Jerry: Okay, now jason you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: spacey.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well spacey, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you jason, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... spad!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a mallet. spad reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows anita appears.
anita: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here spad.
spad: Because I saw jason and anita making out at gatecrasher!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
anita: That's a lie! I was home watching neighbours!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem spad?
spad: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with jeff who has recently become engaged to anita.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring jeff out here because jason had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... spacey that's right!
jeff: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with spacey! You know I'm how I feel about spacey!.
anita: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with spacey!
jeff: Because I knew that I could never have spacey. But jason promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
anita: What about respect for MY feelings!
spad walks suddenly across the stage, embracing jeff.
spad: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
anita: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
anita runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
anita: jason take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
anita: Married?
You nod.
anita: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to spacey.
jeff: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
spacey: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 9 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... jason is married to spacey who jeff has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now jeff has recently become engaged to anita who was recently spotted kissing jason in the gatecrasher. Now on top of this spad has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with jeff.
spacey: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
:p :p :p |
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| Julie_Spyder |
LOVE is in the AIR!!!
man why i love ukta Forum.. the love is the best..
heeh....
:eyespop: :tongue3 :crazy:
everyone is united one way or another..
jason btw.. who sent that. to ya.. |
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| Volksjoolz |
that was sent to me by my nuttiest clubbing mate spacey!!...she's off her rocker and is totally cool!
i'm trying to get her on here..so be nice everyone..if she does decide to join the rabble?!
hehe you want the link julie??
here you go...http://www.sause.net/Springer/ |
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| jonsimmonds |
| i had this sent to me a couple of days ago, i was pissing myself at it! ukta madness ruleZ |
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| Julie_Spyder |
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Julie is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers Arya. So everyone please put your hands together for Julie!
Jerry: Okay, now Julie you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Ape.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Ape, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Julie, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Fly!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a STarfox. Fly reaches for the Love seat. Out of the shadows Andy appears.
Andy: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Fly.
Fly: Because I saw Julie and Andy making out at SSS!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Andy: That's a lie! I was home watching Teletubies!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Fly?
Fly: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Arya who has recently become engaged to Andy.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Arya out here because Julie had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Ape that's right!
Arya: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Ape! You know I'm how I feel about Ape!.
Andy: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Ape!
Arya: Because I knew that I could never have Ape. But Julie promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Andy: What about respect for MY feelings!
Fly walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Arya.
Fly: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Andy: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Andy runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Andy: Julie take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Andy: Married?
You nod.
Andy: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Ape.
Arya: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Ape: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 3 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Julie is married to Ape who Arya has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Arya has recently become engaged to Andy who was recently spotted kissing Julie in the SSS. Now on top of this Fly has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Arya.
Ape: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black. |
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| Dj O'Callaghan |
hahahahahaahaha nice 1, Jerry Springer scripts
UK forum rules we're crazy, but its all good |
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| DuMonde TrAnCeR |
| quote: | Originally posted by Volksjoolz
this is an e.mail i just received!!
its a java script on a jerry springer show!!:D :D
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! jason is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his jeff. So everyone please put your hands together for jason!
Jerry: Okay, now jason you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: spacey.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well spacey, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you jason, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... spad!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a mallet. spad reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows anita appears.
anita: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here spad.
spad: Because I saw jason and anita making out at gatecrasher!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
anita: That's a lie! I was home watching neighbours!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem spad?
spad: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with jeff who has recently become engaged to anita.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring jeff out here because jason had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... spacey that's right!
jeff: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with spacey! You know I'm how I feel about spacey!.
anita: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with spacey!
jeff: Because I knew that I could never have spacey. But jason promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
anita: What about respect for MY feelings!
spad walks suddenly across the stage, embracing jeff.
spad: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
anita: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
anita runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
anita: jason take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
anita: Married?
You nod.
anita: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to spacey.
jeff: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
spacey: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 9 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... jason is married to spacey who jeff has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now jeff has recently become engaged to anita who was recently spotted kissing jason in the gatecrasher. Now on top of this spad has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with jeff.
spacey: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
:p :p :p |
LMFAO!!! :stongue: has me in stiches!!! :stongue:
spacey sent me this too but when i clicked the link it all froze :conf: |
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| DuMonde TrAnCeR |
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Ste is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Barney the Purple Dinosaur. So everyone please put your hands together for Ste!
Jerry: Okay, now Ste you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Mrs. Doyle.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Mrs. Doyle, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Ste, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Gary Glitter!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Chainsaw. Gary Glitter reaches for the Bedside Table. Out of the shadows Delia Smith appears.
Delia Smith: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Gary Glitter.
Gary Glitter: Because I saw Ste and Delia Smith making out at Firthmoor!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Delia Smith: That's a lie! I was home watching Blankety Blank!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Gary Glitter?
Gary Glitter: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Barney the Purple Dinosaur who has recently become engaged to Delia Smith.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Barney the Purple Dinosaur out here because Ste had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Mrs. Doyle that's right!
Barney the Purple Dinosaur: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Mrs. Doyle! You know I'm how I feel about Mrs. Doyle!.
Delia Smith: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Mrs. Doyle!
Barney the Purple Dinosaur: Because I knew that I could never have Mrs. Doyle. But Ste promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Delia Smith: What about respect for MY feelings!
Gary Glitter walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Gary Glitter: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Delia Smith: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Delia Smith runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Delia Smith: Ste take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Delia Smith: Married?
You nod.
Delia Smith: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Mrs. Doyle.
Barney the Purple Dinosaur: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Mrs. Doyle: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 326 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Ste is married to Mrs. Doyle who Barney the Purple Dinosaur has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Barney the Purple Dinosaur has recently become engaged to Delia Smith who was recently spotted kissing Ste in the Firthmoor. Now on top of this Gary Glitter has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Barney the Purple Dinosaur.
Mrs. Doyle: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
hehehe |
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| torontotrance |
LMAO...........
that is soooooooooooo funny |
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| Dj O'Callaghan |
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Steve Bruce is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Roger Gurner. So everyone please put your hands together for Steve Bruce!
Jerry: Okay, now Steve Bruce you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Ann Widercombe.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Ann Widercombe, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Steve Bruce, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Ladyboy!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Hammer. Ladyboy reaches for the Sofa. Out of the shadows Dirty Debbie appears.
Dirty Debbie: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Ladyboy.
Ladyboy: Because I saw Steve Bruce and Dirty Debbie making out at Shorpe!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Dirty Debbie: That's a lie! I was home watching Eastenders!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Ladyboy?
Ladyboy: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Roger Gurner who has recently become engaged to Dirty Debbie.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Roger Gurner out here because Steve Bruce had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Ann Widercombe that's right!
Roger Gurner: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Ann Widercombe! You know I'm how I feel about Ann Widercombe!.
Dirty Debbie: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Ann Widercombe!
Roger Gurner: Because I knew that I could never have Ann Widercombe. But Steve Bruce promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Dirty Debbie: What about respect for MY feelings!
Ladyboy walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Roger Gurner.
Ladyboy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Dirty Debbie: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Dirty Debbie runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Dirty Debbie: Steve Bruce take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Dirty Debbie: Married?
You nod.
Dirty Debbie: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Ann Widercombe.
Roger Gurner: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Ann Widercombe: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 7 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Steve Bruce is married to Ann Widercombe who Roger Gurner has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Roger Gurner has recently become engaged to Dirty Debbie who was recently spotted kissing Steve Bruce in the Shorpe. Now on top of this Ladyboy has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Roger Gurner.
Ann Widercombe: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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