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Post your favourite all time best quotes !
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Rostros
Can be anything , im going to take some of the best quotes from the best british comedy tv show bottom !


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottom_%28TV_series%29


--

Eddie: That's it! I'm going to write to my M.P.
Richie: Why?
Eddie: Because I love her!
Richie: [emphatically] Eddie! Tony Blair is a man!

--

Eddie: This is a sex shop isn't it?
Shop Assistant: Yes.
Eddie: [slaps money down] I'll have five quid's worth then!
Shop Assistant: Very droll sir, I've never heard that one before.
Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?
Shop Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.


--

[both watching a rented video]
Richie: It's not very sexy, is it?
Eddie: No. I must say, I expected a lot more from "The Furry Honeypot Adventure".
Richie: I think this is for kids you know Eddie. I think those Hussein brothers saw you coming again. Well, what else did you get?
Eddie: "Big Jugs"
[laughs]
Richie: "Big Jugs"! All right!
[reads box]
Richie: "A history of pottery in the nineteenth century." Anything else?


--

Eddie talking to a (real!) Falklands veteran

Eddie: So what did you do?
Veteran: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why not, is it embarrassing? your pants, did you? Cried, did you?
Veteran: Quite the opposite, actually!
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

--
vonbremen
c.u.n.t

I love Ruede Hagelstein
Acton
I could just list a load of Bender quotes, but heres a few :D

"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves"

"There we were in the park when suddenly some old lady says I stole her purse. I chucked the professor at her but she kept coming. So I had to hit her with this purse I found"

"Who are you, and why should I care?"

i could go on for days, but i have to do some work :p
vonbremen
The queen is sipping your taxes with 2teaspoons of sugar and some Danish cookies on the side.
Lira
quote:
Originally posted by Rostros
[both watching a rented video]
Richie: It's not very sexy, is it?
Eddie: No. I must say, I expected a lot more from "The Furry Honeypot Adventure".
Richie: I think this is for kids you know Eddie. I think those Hussein brothers saw you coming again. Well, what else did you get?
Eddie: "Big Jugs"
[laughs]
Richie: "Big Jugs"! All right!
[reads box]
Richie: "A history of pottery in the nineteenth century." Anything else?

:stongue:
RJT
quote:
"So, if you need anyone to talk to ... or anyone to dry hump. I'm here for you."


quote:
"Yearn not for earthly goods and pleasures. Cast off this taint, and become taintless."


- Derek "Stormy" Waters
Slylee
"God didn’t do that, you did. You’re a ing a narcotics agent, I knew it."


"Hey guys...OH...Big Gulps ey? WELP! See ya later!"
StellarDe
"If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;"


Taken from 'If' by Rudyard Kipling
Slylee
from one of my alltime favorite movies.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner"

DeNiro in Heat
Taranis
quote:
"All right," said Susan, "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need ... fantasies to make life bearable."

No. Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers?"

Yes. As practice. You have to start out learning to believe the little lies.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

Yes. Justice. Mercy. Duty. That sort of thing.

"They're not the same at all!"

Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through with the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet you act as if there were some sort of rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.

"Yes. But people have got to believe that or what's the point — "

My point exactly.

fbgdavidson
"You've got all the sexual politics of a Viking attack"
T-Soma
Superbad

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Seth: You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so -faced last night, I shouldn't have ed that guy?' ...We could be that mistake!

Seth: I'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag.

Seth: Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.

Officer Michaels: Prepare to be ed by the long dick of the law!
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