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How old is TOO old? (pg. 3)
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| jsibilin |
The oldest I would date is 40 ... Peter is right.. older women are soooo much hotter
***edit.. cause if you do the math ....rule states you take half your age and +7 ...(i am 27) |
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| FunkyCrew |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
Ok. For people who'd put an age limit, what are your reasons? |
I dunno tbh
I just think that between 25 and 35 there isn't much difference mentality-wise
something along those lines I guess |
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| kaniz |
Depends on the person and what I'm looking for.
For dating / serious relationship - I'd start to have reservations over anyone in their mid 30s right now (26 at the moment).
If it was purely for sex - much wider range, as the primary factor in picking that is : Is there chemistry, do I find them attractive?
Some men age /really/ well, and wouldn't put it past me to look at late/mid 40s. However, I'd be suspicious of someone in their late 40s looking to start a serious relationship with someone 20 years their junior. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | | Originally posted by kaniz However, I'd be suspicious of someone in their late 40s looking to start a serious relationship with someone 20 years their junior. |
why? |
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| ÖZmözis |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
the words of a child molestor. |
Pedofile get it right damn it! |
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| chinamon |
| quote: | Originally posted by ÖZmözis
Pedofile get it right damn it! |
its pedophile.
get it right, damn it! |
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| ÖZmözis |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
its pedophile.
get it right, damn it! |
F****** guy! |
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| kaniz |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
why? |
I guess I should preface this with: I've tended to date older guys until recently, so some of this I know from experience, some of it I've observed from others. That said, my ex before my current BF is a /great/ person, and I think the world of him - he left me a better person at the end of the relationship than I was going into it, but he seemed to be the exception, not the rule.
It really depends on the person. I suppose it's one thing if two people meet, fall for each other and things click. But, I find older-men (at least gay men) that are specifically looking for younger guys tend to not always have the best intentions. Yes, there are exceptions - hell, I've generally dated people older than myself, my first BF when I was 19 was in his early 30s.
Young gay-guys who have just come out of the closet tend to be more vulnerable then other people who have more experience in dating / love life / relationships. I've found that quite a few older men tend to view the younger guys as a bit easier to control, and can tend to be possessive and also have jealousy issues. This can happen across all generation-gaps, but seems to be even more pronounced when a older man is 'preying' on some fresh-meat to the scene. It's part of the same reason why someone in their mid 20s generally shouldn't be dating a 16yr old.
Also, every kid loves to think "But, I'm more mature than other kids my age!", and while this can hold true - they are never quite as mature as they think they are, and should really be raising questions to "why is someone THIS old still dating people THIS young?" - maybe it's because they themselves haven't grown up and tend to closer identify with kids that age instead? It's one thing to be a child at heart (which is a charming and good quality), and another thing to have a childish mentality. This, is something I have learned from experience.
When your in your mid to late 30s, have no real education, working dead-end jobs, with no real direction, aims or goals - and actively seeking out the companionship of a younger person - that is a sign for alarm bells IMO.
That said, the age gap is not a 'set in stone', and if the gap is big enough to raise suspicion or cause reservations, these are things that can be worked over. One of the 'good signs' for me was : They are equally uncertain of getting into a relationship with someone that much younger than themselves. They may be looking for a partner, a lover, a boyfriend - but not necessarily a YOUNGER person. It's that specifically seeking out a 'younger' boyfriend that starts to make me question their true intents.
With my ex that was a good BF - He generally didn't date younger guys (his friends can verify this), he wasn't on the hunt for fresh young meat. We met, we clicked on many of the right levels, and things worked. Initially we both had some issues over the age gap - but those soon went by the wayside. I learned a lot about love, life, myself and relationships with him - he made me want to be the best person I could be because I was good enough to try. He was potential in me that made me want to reach it. Things eventually ended for a few reasons - primary one being the distance, age didn't really factor into it at all, and we are still friends and keep in touch.
But, it makes me echo Savages advice whenever people talk about the generation gap: Follow the campsite rule, leave the younger person in just as good, if not better condition than how you found them.
So, to answer your "why" in short - I speak from experience of having dated quite a few older guys in my time. The good ones seem to be more the exception than the rule. If I was to find myself single again and on the market, and things 'clicked' with a person greatly older than me - it would be a proceed with caution. I'd really want to make sure they are with ME for ME, and because we click in the right ways, not because they are with me because I am younger. |
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| patpicos |
| quote: | Originally posted by jchung52
always preferred/dated older women. girls @ my age are too immature and full of drama. plus they cant seem to hold a conversation. |
+1
last 3 girls ive been with are 3-4years older. Current is 4 yrs older. |
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| El K Dee |
| quote: | Originally posted by kaniz
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wait...ur a she? |
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| kaniz |
| No, I'm gay. (did you miss references to gay men / coming out of the closet in my post?) |
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