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The Tough Bastard Thread (pg. 2)
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| elFreak |
Considering that your idea of win is to post tons of pictures of women who did not want to be with you anymore, i think fail can be evaluated differently by others.:p
now back on track.
toughest bastard? |
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| zoogla |
oooh burn!!! :(
*deletes pics of Jay's mom* |
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| elFreak |
did you dig her up to take pictures?
now that is tough. |
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| Cloudburst |
A guy I know:
| quote: |
Dear sweet arse-raping Jesus I will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.
First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane. It claims to be the hottest burger in the world.
Secondly, before it gets served to you you have to put on rubber gloves. (seriously).
Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.
I swear to god I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be I was just going to open a can of "harden the f uck up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...
4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch.
We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs. We drink one 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.
We order the "megadeath burgers" to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.
We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.
The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome - hand made giant patty mothering things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.
Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...
I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain.
2 things happen immediately to my body.
1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava I am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.
Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shovelling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own private little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...
And this is the problem.
The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the up" when I notice that my mate has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.
He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.
I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything I have just eaten at high speed.
Not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot I pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point I really don't give a because I have just started to hallucinate. No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there I was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (that's a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.
Can I recommend this burger to anyone?
No ing way.
Should you go and try it anyway?
Absoinglutely!
It is now almost 48 hours later and I have just had my second shower for the morning. Second shower? Why have 2?
Because I am still ting white hot torrents of molten steel and I need to cool down my puckered, torn and abraded sphincter before it decides to go all "china syndrome" and melt through the crust of the earth to the core.
I swear to god all I have eaten in the past couple of days since the "event" is stomach and anus friendly food like yoghurt, and ham and salad rolls and yet here I am wondering why I have just been fisted by someone with a handful of broken glass and gravel?
The burger was evil. And it's evilness continues to taunt my bunghole.
My mate who also tried the burger with came good , but he admitted by "good" he meant he wasn't bleeding profusely from his anus and eyeballs at the same time.
That burger was all f * cked up.
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| denys envy |
| that little girl is ing tough. 6 bullets? ... |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
did you dig her up to take pictures?
now that is tough. |
u :( |
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| elFreak |
i hacked her to pieces with a plastic butter knife.
jesus fahad there is no challenge with you.
hook, line, and sinker.
lol you felt bad. *points*
@Denys that dude who survived 4 months at sea is pretty ing nuts. |
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| UmmiE |
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand rape victim drove her rapist to a police station when he fell asleep in his car after assaulting the woman, local media reported on Wednesday.
Vipul Sharma, 22, was found guilty of abduction and two charges of rape by the Auckland District Court Tuesday, court officials told Reuters Wednesday.
The New Zealand newspaper said Sharma met the woman at an Auckland bar in 2006 and later drove her first to a park where he raped her in the back seat of his car.
After the attack Sharma allowed the woman to drive and fell asleep in the passenger seat, so the woman drove him to Auckland Central police station where he was arrested, said the newspaper.
"She showed a lot of bravery and common sense. I have nothing but respect for what she has endured," police detective Simon Welsh told the newspaper.
COR VERSION :- Victim drives sleeping rapist to police station LOL
Link |
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| elFreak |
while a neat story, that is not that tough.
tough would be ripping his dick off with her vagina. |
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
while a neat story, that is not that tough.
tough would be ripping his dick off with her vagina. |
LOL you missed the funny part the rapist is an Indian dood.....prolly had too much curry hence he fell asleep....... im hungry now where is my curry ?:mad: |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
i hacked her to pieces with a plastic butter knife.
jesus fahad there is no challenge with you.
hook, line, and sinker.
lol you felt bad. *points*
@Denys that dude who survived 4 months at sea is pretty ing nuts. |
MOMMY!!! HE DOESN'T PLAY NICE!!!! 
im a momma's boy...hit a sensitive spot, what can i say :( |
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| woscar99 |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
Your wife for agreeing to love you in exchange for 5 dollars and 3 goats. |
Can anyone please point me to the thread where this comes from? :p
It's like the 3rd or 4th time I hear about UmmiE's fixed marriage, lol |
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