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Post your funny ones, or whatever

Whipped Cream Salsa

Serves 3

You will need:
50ml whipped cream
10g soft cheese
4 oysters

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 230 C
rinse the soft cheese
add the soft cheese to the saucepan
sift the oysters
throw the oysters away
whisk the whipped cream
bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
rT19
god dammit its 1 20 and im hungry. This thread doesnt help...
dj_alfi
Sweet Tabasco Sauce Wedges With Warm Mince
Serves 2
You will need:
20g cheese
1 lemons
50g mince
80ml greek yogurt
10ml tabasco sauce
Instructions:
defrost the tabasco sauce
defrost the greek yogurt
microwave the lemons
rinse the cheese
eat the mince
order out


Yum
dj_alfi
ewwwwwwww


Iceberg Lettuce Mini Roasties
Serves 1
You will need:
50g bacon
10g iceberg lettuce
10ml cod liver oil

Instructions:
sauté the bacon
flip the bacon
mix the bacon in
slice the iceberg lettuce
fry the cod liver oil until browned
put everything in the blender
Gauss
Lime Melt Bagels
Serves 1
You will need:

* 2 carrots
* 1 lime

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. discard the carrots
3. sift the lime
4. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot

So, basically, you take 2 carrots and throw them away, then bake 1 lime for 90 minuts on 180° C? Nice. :stongue:
lacksesepsotygh
it's all about the lemon


Lemons Crumble
Serves 2
You will need:
70ml mint sauce
5 lemons
10g bacon
Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 200 C
barbeque the lemons
blend with the lemons
add the lemons
simmer the lemons gently for 20 minutes
fry the bacon
sauté the mint sauce
bake for 20 minutes and serve hot
Project-K
You will need:

* 10ml white wine
* 1 onions

Instructions:

-pre-heat the oven to 230 C
-put the white wine in the saucepan
-lightly fry the white wine
-microwave the white wine
-microwave the white wine
-discard the onions
-bake for 70 minutes and serve hot

I've been laughing at that one for a good ten minutes :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
Ghost Raver
Onions Stew

Serves 2

You will need:
10g toffee
3 courgettes
5 onions
90g pasta

Instructions:
barbeque the toffee
toast the onions
stir-fry the courgettes
throw the toffee away
add one tablespoon of the onions
fry the pasta until browned
throw it all away


Yum.


:eyes:
----------------


You will need:
150ml water
4 cloves of garlic
120g chicken

Instructions:
defrost the cloves of garlic
flambe the cloves of garlic
heat the cloves of garlic in the saucepan
put the cloves of garlic in the fridge to set
grill the chicken
whisk the chicken
throw the chicken away
heat the cloves of garlic in the saucepan
blend with the cloves of garlic
melt the cloves of garlic
add the cloves of garlic
flambe the cloves of garlic
mix the cloves of garlic in
sprinkle the cloves of garlic over the top
sift the water
serve piping hot

-----------------

Baked Vinegar

Serves 4

You will need:
20ml vinegar
100g mince

Instructions:
rinse the mince
rinse the vinegar
go down the pub


This ones easy :toothless
Ridexer
Plain Flour Mille Feuille
Serves 4
You will need:

* 140ml horseradish sauce
* 30g plain flour

Instructions:

1. sauté the horseradish sauce
2. whisk the plain flour
3. throw it all away

Yum.


It's clearly underestimating my cooking skills...
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