| dj_mdma |
http://www.sause.net/Springer/Springer-male.html
| quote: | Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Billy Bob is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Bob. So everyone please put your hands together for Billy Bob!
Jerry: Okay, now Billy Bob you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Brandine.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Brandine, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Billy Bob, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Billy!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Toilet Seat. Billy reaches for the Shoe Holder. Out of the shadows Sharlene appears.
Sharlene: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Billy.
Billy: Because I saw Billy Bob and Sharlene making out at Teddington Public Toilets!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Sharlene: That's a lie! I was home watching G String Divas!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Billy?
Billy: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Bob who has recently become engaged to Sharlene.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Bob out here because Billy Bob had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Brandine that's right!
Bob: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Brandine! You know I'm how I feel about Brandine!.
Sharlene: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Brandine!
Bob: Because I knew that I could never have Brandine. But Billy Bob promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Sharlene: What about respect for MY feelings!
Billy walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Bob.
Billy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Sharlene: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Sharlene runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Sharlene: Billy Bob take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Sharlene: Married?
You nod.
Sharlene: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Brandine.
Bob: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Brandine: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 1984 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Billy Bob is married to Brandine who Bob has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Bob has recently become engaged to Sharlene who was recently spotted kissing Billy Bob in the Teddington Public Toilets. Now on top of this Billy has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Bob.
Brandine: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black. |
hehe, a little example, made it funny with odd weapons and redneck names :haha: |
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