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Favorite Office Quotes
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| serenitynow50 |
[during a "Diversity Day" exercise; Angela is wearing a sign on her forehead that says "Jamaican."]
Kevin: Hey.
Angela: Hey.
Kevin: You wanna go to the beach?
Angela: Sure.
Kevin: You wanna get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon. |
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| Dervish |
[Seriously high level guy, on the value of Diversity & Inclusiveness Training]
All that crap is just for freaks and weirdos to feel good about themselfs... but yeah do it to tick the box and keep them happy eh? |
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| Audious |
| Michael: All right, let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. And I was five, five years old. Couldn't even talk yet. |
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| wotyzoid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Audious
Michael: All right, let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows, and had a huge spike in its head. And I was five, five years old. Couldn't even talk yet. |
win |
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| serenitynow50 |
Dwight Schrute: Someone forged medical information, and that's a felony.
Jim Halpert: OK, Whoa, all right 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?
Dwight Schrute: [reading from a sheet] Uh, Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection. |
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| lacksesepsotygh |
| i don't consider myself a hero. you know who's a hero? hiro from heroes. that's a hero |
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| Dervish |
57 year old women: *pours water from a kettle over guys head*
"ing little I'll put it where I want"
(and so ended the argument where the kettle should go in the office, no joke) |
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| serenitynow50 |
Jim Halpert: Just have Dwight punch you.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah!
[scoffs]
Michael Scott: Well, that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who can kick his ass.
Jim Halpert: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight Schrute: What belt are they? |
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| evil_cookie |
| Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants... he says something ordinary like... 'yo, thats shizzle.' Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you. |
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| ZeJayMan |
Tim:Team leader don’t mean anything mate.
Gareth: Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team.
Tim: No it doesn't-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it.
Gareth: I think they do.
Tim: No they don’t Gareth.
Gareth: Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm. |
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| farley |
| quote: | Originally posted by ZeJayMan
Tim:Team leader don’t mean anything mate.
Gareth: Excuse me, it means I’m the leader of a team.
Tim: No it doesn't-it’s a title someone’s given you to get you to do something they don’t want to do, for free. Right? It’s like making a div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it.
Gareth: I think they do.
Tim: No they don’t Gareth.
Gareth: Er, yes they do, because if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last, so it was warm. |
lol, too quality
Gareth: My dad, for example, he's not as cosmopolitan or as educated as me and it can be embarrasing you know. He doesn't understand all the new trendy words - like he'll say "poofs" instead of "gays", "birds" instead of "women"..."darkies" instead of "coloureds". |
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| fbgdavidson |
| quote: | Originally posted by farley
lol, too quality
Gareth: My dad, for example, he's not as cosmopolitan or as educated as me and it can be embarrasing you know. He doesn't understand all the new trendy words - like he'll say "poofs" instead of "gays", "birds" instead of "women"..."darkies" instead of "coloureds". |
My favourite UK Office quote :stongue:
Favourite US:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLQKsuogUXo |
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