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one liners :) .... confucius say
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| euphoria attack |
ok this is not meant to offend anybody but hey if it does im sorry ok?
from www.asianjoke.com and others... mainly dominion bbs
Passionate kiss like spider's web, will soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one pr*ck all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket, feel c*cky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick, go hungry.
Man who scratches *ss should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse will soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets not feeling crazy,
he feeling nuts.
19 Ways to annoy your public bathroom stallmate
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1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
2..Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh no!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "D*mn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say,"Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops,
could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr.. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say,"Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" ewsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born
Free"
list of english subtitles used in hong kong films
I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
Gun wounds again?
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
You always use violence.
I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
You daring lousy guy.
Beat him out of recognizable shape! I have been scared shìtless too much lately.
I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
How can you use my intestines as a gift?
The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
a few more.......
Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.
Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag.
Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Passionate kiss like spider web ... lead to undoing of fly.
Man with hole in pocket, feel c*cky all day.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
Virginity like balloon ... one pr*ck, all gone.
Girl who rides bicycle, peddles as* all over town.
Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Baseball all wrong ... man with four balls no can walk.
Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man with pen*s in peanut butter jar is f*cking nuts.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have sh*tty time.
Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
Woman who fly upside down, have crack up.
Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution well in hand.
Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who fly plane upside down have crackup.
Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night. (hehehe - ^v^)
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."
"Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone."
"Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Work to become, not to acquire."
"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bast*rd."
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
"Find old man in dark, not hard!"
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
"Ok for sh*t to happen . . . will decompose."
"Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
"Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind."
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."
"Don't drink and park, accidents cause people."
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."
"Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"Confucius say too God damn much!"
"Those who quote me are fools."
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there!"
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"
"Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"
"War not determine who's right, war determines who's left."
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
Modern house without toilet uncanny.
Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring
Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth.
Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality.
Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit.
Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
Man and mouse alike, both end up in p*ssy.
Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag.
Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Wife who slides down banister makes monkey shine.
Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
Woman who flies upside-down have crack up.
He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
Man who have head up ass, have sh*tty outlook on life.
Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
He who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.
He who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.
Epileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.
Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wakes up with smelly fingers.
Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts. |
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| MysticSoul |
| HOLY S**T long enuf lol |
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| [A|ienFactory] |
LOL.
:D:D:D
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse will soon find him in cathouse. |
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| Dwingo |
Damn.. I'm really to lazy to right all this .
Mebbe later |
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| Gekhous |
damn thaz some heavy txt!!! read like 1/3 of it, ill do the rest tomorrow or smth...
what ive read was damn good though |
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| euphoria attack |
sorry about the length but hey ..... its good to print and read in class :) not that i ever do that....
hehe |
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| Sugarbean |
| omg thats the longest thread...lol..well post i have ever seen!! |
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