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Texts From Last Night
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| Anomyst |
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fkn lol |
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| mmkoiman |
| quote: | Originally posted by Anomyst
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fkn lol |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| James Brooke |
some very funny on that site... here are my favs!
(424): Do u kno any dealers?
(1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
(412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your . Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
(786): if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
(352): godspeed.
(865): you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
(765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
(314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
(505): The responsible thing...show them the break room.
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(860): so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
(412): dude i feel like
(413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh |
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| pagaille21 |
(978): ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
(703): BEES IN MY ING PANTS. HELP.
(412): You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
(337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
(903): My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(619): We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
(860): so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
(931): don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
LOL(214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
(1-214): dont u have athletes foot? |
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| vman83 |
| quote: | Originally posted by pagaille21
LOL(214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
(1-214): dont u have athletes foot? |
OH MY GOD URRGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhh :eek: |
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| Deeman |
Awesome site
(817): i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
(402): Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
(804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
(614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
(304): Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
(415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" |
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| James Brooke |
| quote: | Originally posted by Deeman
(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" |
ROFL, how did i miss that one.... |
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| Deeman |
So funny man ..
got more:
(251): but she was nice to me.
(256): She was a in STRIPPER.
(224): bras are like tupperware for , keeps em fresh.
(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
(734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
(310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
(651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
(1-651): you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends |
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| Lilith |
| (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Deeman
(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" |
ing awesome. |
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| Deeman |
(403): you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
(574): some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
(1-574): class
(574): he's dribbling her head like he's ing allen Iverson
(303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
(720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
(704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
(404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
(305): Did you save them?
(404): Who?
(651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
(757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to in a catbox to prove a point.
(512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dog lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
(864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
(909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie |
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