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Soviet Creepypasta
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| kadomony |
man i love this :
you with comrade woman when phone ring
"why you with daughter? why you no work?"
woman say her father taken by KGB to gulag.
no time to ask question about phone as KGB is now arriving and also taking woman to gulag.
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"Father, I had bad dream"
You take sip of vodka and roll over. You stare at clocktower on Sobornaya Square. It's 3:23. "Go back to sleep, there is work tomorrow."
"No, Father."
The familiar warm buzz of vodka starts to sink in. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness. "Why is that, devochka moya?"
"Because in my dream, when I was about to go back to sleep, the thing wearing Mother's skin sat up."
You pause, and face your daughter and look at her intensely. The figure behind you begins to stir.
"Don't talk that way about your brother, it is not his fault we have no money for coats. Such is life in Moscow."
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Once I hear story about girl in Chaplygin. She was asleep in her bed, when she feel lick on her hand. She thinks it is dog and goes to sleep. Next morning, she finds note on dresser with dead head of dog. It says "Capitalists can lick too." She screams.
The girl was sent for re-education in Estonia, her parents sent to labor in Siberia. One must always be watchful and never let American spies into one's house.
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You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock.
No footprints in snow. It was reflection.
You turn around, greet friend, and enjoy rest of party.
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I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. "But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don't even peek in there." I take key and go to room to sleep.
Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red.
Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. "By the way who is in that room?" She look at me and begin to tell story.
There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.
I tell her I don't give a . Stop the water trickling or give me refund. She gave me 100 ruble credit and free breakfast.
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One night bourgeois parents go to see Moscow Ballet. They hire young girl with their filthy money to watch children. There are only simple rotary phones in great Soviet Union. Parents come home, girl and children are carved into tiny pieces.
Police say parents should have beaten children more. Only bad parents must hire other people to frighten little ones into obedience. They are disappeared and sent to Siberian work camps.
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In rural Soviet town, small company tries to sell baby dolls. Woman who is pregnant buys doll, but when child is born, doll cries like ignorant American. Box says to "rock" child to sleep. Stupid woman is too soft. Doll will not stop crying. Woman decides to smash doll. KGB begins find dead infants, and mothers holding doll. Mothers understand, if infant is not strong enough to outlast doll, infant is not true Soviet!
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In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell.
Bell rings. Is no wind.
Undertaker asks - "Are you lady Gorbochev?"
Voice says "Yes!"
"Born winter of 1927?"
"Yes!"
"Gravestone says 'Died 20 February, 1957"
"Niet, am still living!"
"Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June."
And woman is true Soviet, waits for June.
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Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begin to making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk.
He curses bad Swedish machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand.
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Old Comrade was sit alone on path. Not sure of direction to going, and forget both where traveling to…and who Comrade was.
He sit down for minute to rest legs, and suddenly look up to see old woman before him.
Woman say: “Now third wish. What will wish be?”
“Third wish?” Comrade was baffled. “How can be third wish if I am having no first and second wish?”
“Comrade has two wishes already,” woman say, “but second wish was for to return everything to way it was being before you had first wish. So it is that you have one wish left.”
“Yes,” he said hesitantly, "Am not believe this, but no harm in try. Am wishing for freedom in motherland to know self."
Then woman kill man for being defiant to motherland.
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Item #: SCP-173
Object class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-173 is to be kept in shed behind farm. Three strong communist men must drink liter of vodka before enter. Two must stare at item, one must continue drink vodka.
Description: Moved to shed after wooden pen freeze and break during cold Soviet winter. Shed is also wood, but with paint sometimes. SCP-173 is extremely hostile, like red faced Americans. Is also coward. Neither will make move while strong Soviet men have watchful eye. No one blink, on punishment of beating with cold leather. Object enjoy snap neck, like American commando pig. If object allowed to move, all will be sent to cold Siberia for reeducation.
Personnel report sound of stone scraping when creature is alone. This is dutiful Russian work ethic. If sound stops, subject to be beaten with iron rods, like child.
Floor is covered in and blood, like normal Soviet household. Shed must be cleaned every two weeks. Kept much cleaner than most Soviet household.
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One night man tries escape from gulag.
Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.
Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.
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There are times when lights go out. It sacrifice we make for glorious Soviet expansion. When this happens loyal citizens must be quiet and stoic. Sometimes child, or weak man will scream. These individuals are cowards. When lights come back on, do not speak with them. Put them to death with heavy stones. Weakness must not be tolerated.
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One night man is riding mule down dirt road. Young woman stands on side of road, calls out for ride home. Is very cold in Soviet winter. Man takes off coat and puts it on back of mule. Girl is also cold. Man gives her sack of turnip for to wear. Girl is much thankful for ride home.
Next morning man realize it is day for buying turnip at market, and girl still has sack. He goes to her house. No girl is there, only father. He says daughter died in salt mines ten years ago night before. Man returns to mule, turnip sack is on back of mule.
SOVIET HONESTY IS STRONG! EVEN DEATH NOT STOP REPAYMENT OF DEBTS!
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A 15 year old comrade gets on computer after school and turns on AIM. He receives message from comrade who had been absent from school. Message reads "please come". Confused, boy sends message back but no reply comes. Boy rides his bike over to his comrade's house. He is then killed by KGB for having computer.
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In any Russian town seek out House for Reeducation of Mentally Unfit. Ask House Direktor to speak with Holder of End. Direktor will take you down, past root cellar, past beet storage, until you reach small room. Inside will be comrade of continuous talking to self. Language will possibly be inferior Czech or filthy American. If talking cease, say 'Da, comrade. Here for speaking'. If talking to self stop, share vodka with Direktor and fear not, for you are proud Soviet.If talking to self continue, ask mentally unfit 'What happen when all come together, in perfect Communist Union?'. Retard will then answer, but due to inferior Reeducation facility, answer will be incorrect. Report Direktor to KGB at once.
Also, mentally unfit will have tchotke in hands. Take from them and deliver to KGB. Possession is not an ideal for mentally unfit. If you have farm, you may take retard to works fields, after sterilization.
There are 2,538 retards of such. KGB is wishing to recover all.
:gsmile: |
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| bas |
Some of those were pretty funny, some just straight up lame.
| quote: | Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begin to making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk.
He curses bad Swedish machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand. |
| quote: | One night man is riding mule down dirt road. Young woman stands on side of road, calls out for ride home. Is very cold in Soviet winter. Man takes off coat and puts it on back of mule. Girl is also cold. Man gives her sack of turnip for to wear. Girl is much thankful for ride home.
Next morning man realize it is day for buying turnip at market, and girl still has sack. He goes to her house. No girl is there, only father. He says daughter died in salt mines ten years ago night before. Man returns to mule, turnip sack is on back of mule.
SOVIET HONESTY IS STRONG! EVEN DEATH NOT STOP REPAYMENT OF DEBTS! |
lulz |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begin to making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk.
He curses bad Swedish machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand. |
:stongue:
| quote: | In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell.
Bell rings. Is no wind.
Undertaker asks - "Are you lady Gorbochev?"
Voice says "Yes!"
"Born winter of 1927?"
"Yes!"
"Gravestone says 'Died 20 February, 1957"
"Niet, am still living!"
"Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June."
And woman is true Soviet, waits for June. |
This is actually kind of cute :p |
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