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Yukii is super neato! (pg. 9)
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| Dj Skez |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Too bad work and money can't cure stupid. :) |
Head from your moms cures headaches. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| Go go Internet Tough Guy! YEAH! |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by lenazi
because your parents hired me to get me out of the nest like in that movie with mathew machonohay and sarah jessica parker. The only difference is that in this version instead of getting the girl and living happily ever after, you get a flesh light and the opportunity to cry with your big head (seriously it is so big i'm sure when you lie down to sleep it affects the tides in the ocean) in your hungry man dinner as you wonder why your broom closet doesn't have an internet connection.
pizza is here, enjoy your yogurt. |
i said pizza AND yogurt noob... I have cold pizza and yogurt in the fridge. :p
lol fleshlight! |
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| lenazi |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
Go go Internet Tough Guy! YEAH! |
when fiddy says it, it sounds more like gyeah. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
Does anyone have that old JPG of some guy's post on the Fleshlight forum about his stomach being too fat and his dick too small to use the Fleshlight?
:haha: |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
Did a quick Google and it looks like the actual forum post is still up:
| quote: | It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.
I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the penis and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.
I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my penis defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.
Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly ing lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.
I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how ed I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my penis obviously doesn't work very well. |
http://forums.fleshlight.com/showthread.php?t=3135 |
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| wotyzoid |
| quote: | Originally posted by lenazi
because your parents hired me to get me out of the nest like in that movie with mathew machonohay and sarah jessica parker. The only difference is that in this version instead of getting the girl and living happily ever after, you get a flesh light and the opportunity to cry with your big head (seriously it is so big i'm sure when you lie down to sleep it affects the tides in the ocean) in your hungry man dinner as you wonder why your broom closet doesn't have an internet connection.
pizza is here, enjoy your yogurt. |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| Joss Weatherby |
I have a hard time even believing that. Who would post that on a forum, unless they are trolling... :p |
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| lenazi |
that is like alberto faulk all over again. |
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| hundred |
| nice little marathon u boys are having here |
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| Fledz |
ITT three internet tough guys talk themselves up when chances are they are nowhere near this brash or arrogant in real life.
C/D? |
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| bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dj Skez
You were a software engineer for three years. That's it? that's all you did and you're in your 20s. I'm 26 and I've been working since I was 15 and became a full time employee when I turned 17. I've held jobs that took a lot of skill and one that needs a state certification. I was working on weekends with a second part time job while going to school and got my bachelors in Business administration. I'm only 26 and already make well over 60k right now with great benefits and 3 weeks vacation. You've probably never worked a real job in your life. You're a joke and it wasn't for your daddy you couldn't make it in the real world ******. ;) |
Congrats on being a skilled trade worker :stongue: |
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