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Alright, so... I LOL'd.
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View this Thread in Original format
| Spam |
www.dontevenreply.com
Dude responds to classified ads in a sarcastic manner and hilarity ensues.
| quote: | From Me to **************@***********.org:
Hello,
I saw your ad looking for a grill in exchange for your landscaping skills. Do you do tree removal? If so, there is a very expensive grill in it for you.
Thanks,
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
yes
From me to josh *******:
Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. She had great and an ass that was out of this world. It really completed my morning whenever I caught a glimpse of her. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing.
If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice.
If they ask about it, I will tell them that a huge storm happened while they were at work, and the wind blew the tree over and blew the grill away. Meanwhile you will be enjoying a delicious salisbury steak from your new grill, and I wil be enjoying my neighbor's hot wife as she steps into the shower.
They usually leave for work around 7:30 AM during the week, and come back home around 6:00 PM. If you could have it done before they get back on Monday, that would be great.
Thanks,
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
wat the r u smoking dude? so i cut down ur neigbors tree and u let me steal his grille. what a grate deal ass hole. how bout i just take the grille and dont cut down the tree u
From me to josh *******:
You don't know where his house is, so how are you going to steal the grill? I think my information in exchange for your services is a fair trade. I'll even let you come over for a few beers afterward, and we can watch the wife in the bathroom from my bedroom window.
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
i dont want a stolen grille i want a real grille u retard wat da is ur problem. and i dont give a bout naked neigbor u in perv
From me to josh *******:
I assure you that this grill is real. By cutting down the tree, you are earning the grill and it will not be stolen. Also, if seeing a naked woman isn't your thing, you could probably catch the husband changing in the bathroom as well. I won't be watching, but I'm not one to judge your lifestyle.
Mike
From josh ******* to Me:
ur the fagot u dick sucking fag sucker!! eat a in dick u piece of t!!! |
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| leph555 |
| rofl, that was ace :stongue: |
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| bas |
| I love this site...that guy really flew off the handle at the end there. |
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| idoru |
My favorite line is from the fish one...
| quote: | | The fish is a guppy but it lives in a 55 gallon tank, so you probably can't move it. |
:stongue: |
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| SLR722 |
My fav. one:
| quote: |
Escalade Bodyguard
Posted at: 2009-06-24 08:14:22
Original ad:
2007 Cadillac Escalade for sale - 38,000 miles. Great condition! Asking $40,000. E-mail if interested.
From Mike Partlow to **************@*********.org
Hey,
I have a proposition for you. I will give you $50 if you let me borrow your Escalade for tomorrow night. I have been trying to get a date with this girl, but the only way I was able to get her to go on a date with me was by telling her that I am a very rich and powerful drug dealer. The problem is, I am not a drug dealer, and I actually drive a 91 Honda Accord. She will know I am lying if I pick her up in that. The only chance I have of getting with this chick is if I roll up in your ballin Escalade. If you let me borrow it, on top of giving you $50, I will put a few gallons of gas in it. I promise we will not have sex on your seats.
Please help me out!
Mike
From James ******* to Me
Absolutely not. The car is not for rent!
From Mike Partlow to James ********
James,
I am willing to pay you up to $60 to borrow your Escalade. If you are worried about me messing it up, you can ride with me. In fact, you can drive it. I'll tell her you are my bodyguard. That would actually work out better, I think. Do you look like a bodyguard? You'd have to wear a suit, and possibly one of those earpieces with the coiled cord running down your neck. You should occasionally touch the earpiece to your ear, like you are listening to some badass security chatter. You shouldn't talk have to talk much, just drive and look badass.
Please reconsider my offer.
Mike
From James ******** to Me
No. That is stupid. Maybe you should try asking out a woman that isn't a materialistic gold digger.
From Mike Partlow to James *********
Golddigger or not, this girl's rack is phenominal. Tell you what, if you consider my offer and I end up getting laid, I will try to snap a picture of her with my cellphone and send it to you. Trust me, they are great.
Mike
From James ******** to Me
Shut up. You aren't borrowing my car.
From Mike Partlow to James *********
Well James, you are being a cockblocker. I hope next time you are trying to get your D wet, you get the cockblocked out of you.
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| Banora |
:stongue:
He reminds me of that guy who scams the Nigerian scammers. |
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| UWM |
| Haha that site is win, never seen it before. |
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| jonSun |
| That site is full of laughs |
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| bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by SLR722
My fav. one: |
:stongue: |
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| yukii |
| quote: | Originally posted by Banora
:stongue:
He reminds me of that guy who scams the Nigerian scammers. |
please post!! :stongue: that is so awesome! |
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| Banora |
| quote: | Originally posted by yukii
please post!! :stongue: that is so awesome! |
I'm trying to find the one where he convinced the Nigerians he was a very famous movie director and got them to send him nudes of themselves! |
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