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Comrade Stalin appreciation thread (pg. 3)
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by Renzo
Mary Poppins is such an incredible sometimes. I mean, here you have this whore who likes to fly around in an umbrella for no apparent reason other than to piss us off. Are we supposed to believe birds will never on her umbrella? Oh really, Mary? Are we supposed to believe birds will never interrupt your little flight with a proper turd appreciation thread? Listen, Mary, in the world I live in birds get diarrhea and all over your umbrellas. They do. It’s life.
This bitch thinks she’s cool cause she can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Yeah well, Aryandamasuniwazamui Madhani, my neighbor, is twelve years old and spells better than Microsoft Spellcheck, but you don’t see him waving his around and flying around in umbrellas. Have you ever seen an Indian flying around in an umbrella? You know how ridiculous that would look? |
Aryandamasuniwazamui Madhani. Oh god yes. That's an amazing name. Say it out loud. Aryandamasuniwazamui Madhani. It just rolls right off your tongue like cat semen. Pedigree cats though, not those cheap whore pound cats, hell no. It's completely different. Because they haven't been looked after. Psychological issues, don't you know.
Not all of them, but most. It's a cruel place, Renzo, the pound. And it's a cruel life. Imagine if you were locked up in a small cage and beaten until you scream? Yeah, I know. Awesome. Especially if you you're wearing stockings with suspenders. But it's not like that at the pound. They have noise restriction laws, so you can't scream. Even if the stockings are too tight. |
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| bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
soviet scary stories GO
You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock.
No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard!
Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory. |
So funny. |
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| Lady Gaga |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
In closing month of Great Patriot War, in hospital Comrade Doctor run out of bandages and lifeblood for fellow comrades of the Motherland. Then, fascist dog shells aggress against hospital and power go out. Doctor yell at Gypsy to get power running, but nothing work. Doctor shoot Gypsy, then singlehanded treat every patient in hospital, because Comrade Doctor great example to productivity of Soviet Motherland.
In morning, soldiers wake up and find wounds dressed with human skin. Find Doctor dead in cot, his skin all peel off. Scream in horror. Know nothing about great resourcefulness of Comrade Doctor for benefit of great Motherland. Commissar summoned to award Comrade Doctor for resourcefulness.
Commissar see Comrade Doctor sleeping in cot. Commissar shoot Comrade Doctor. Doctor fell asleep on cot that should have been used by wounded soldier! Doctor's death is punishment for his selfishness! Soldiers shot for being treated by traitor to Soviet cause! NO BROTHER OF GLORIOUS SOVIET STATE ACCEPT HELP FROM TRAITOR! |
Why shoot the doctor if he is already dead? |
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| yukii |
Such is life in Soviet Russia when man not give comrade milk before himself. A letter containing pictures of dead people can only warm fire for while, milk of Russian cow empower will of man for strengths of country Kadomonisky, this is lesson you must learn.
One must but appreciate seduction of lambs when one is alone in fields of war. Loins become but desperate and I vas standing knowing not if tonight I die, I take lamb and pleasure is good. Pleasure of motherland lamb is better for man than dirty gypsy. I need stregnths for when I make return from war to work on plow for potato field. |
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| yukii |
| Kadomonisky, is you of kulaks? I like to invite for vodka. I must sleep my 3 hours before I wake for chickens. Спокойной ночи. |
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| kadomony |
One night you are warming by fire with female comrade. Telephone is make ring.
You are answering and man is saying "Why you and my daughter not working?"
You asking female comrade about man on phone. She is saying father already taken to gulag.
No time to ask question as KGB is arriving and taking you to gulag as for using capitalist manufactured telephone. |
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| Darkarbiter |
He doesn't know who leon trotsky is however.
That's pretty fail. |
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| floyd741 |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
One night you are warming by fire with female comrade. Telephone is make ring.
You are answering and man is saying "Why you and my daughter not working?"
You asking female comrade about man on phone. She is saying father already taken to gulag.
No time to ask question as KGB is arriving and taking you to gulag as for using capitalist manufactured telephone. |
ffffuuuu I was expecting who was phone |
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| Comrade Stalin |
Comrade Stalin love Jennypie.
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| Moral Hazard |
| I've always preferred the "Uncle Joe" moniker. |
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