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Something to send when you get annoying forwards by e-mail
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| Dwingo |
I got this message a while ago and it's really awesome. Read it completely, you'll laugh y'er ass off.
Someone was obviously irritated by the huge amount of forward-chainletter-like e-mails he got and made this. Hilarious.
FINALLY A CHAIN LETTER THAT I LIKE!
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from
rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,
extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and
executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
forwarding out 50 billion ing chain letters sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, then that poor ing 6-year-old girl in
Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to
raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak
show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of ing bull. So basically, this message is a big YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D.
and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly ing amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being
forwards about 90 times. I don't ing care. Show a little
intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
>>> > > > THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>>> > > > Chain Letter Type 1:
>>> > > > (scroll down)
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > > Make a wish!!!
>>> > > > Keep Scrolling
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > > No, really, go on and make one!!!
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > > Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>>> > > > Wish something else!!!
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > > Not that, you pervert!!
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > > STOP!!!!
>>> > >
>>> > > >
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Wasn't that fun?
>>> > > > Hope you made a great wish :)
>>> > > >
>>> > > >
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
do. First of all, if you don't send this to
5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be
raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high
building into a pile of manure. It's true!
Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones,
THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be
pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be
pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter and will napalm your house.>
>>> > > > Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>>> > > ---------------------------------------------
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, there is a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents, and no goats. This little
boy's life could be saved, because for every
time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated
to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless
Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and
remember, we have absolutely no way of counting
the e-mails sent and this is all a complete load
of bull. So go on, reach out. Send this to
5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4
or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
---------------------------------------------
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Chain Letter Type 3
>>> > > >
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
existence since 1897. This is absolutely
incredible because there was no e-mail then
and probably not as many sad pricks with
nothing better to do.
So this is how it works... Pass this on to
15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
something horrible will happen to you like:
>>> > > >
>>> > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #1
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school
>>> > > > on Saturday. She had recently received this
>>> > > > letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
>>> > > > crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer,
>>> > > > was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of
>>> > > > poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.
>>> > > > Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This
>>> > > > Could Happen To You!!!
>>> > > >
>>> > > > *Bizarre Horror Story #2
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Dexter Bip, a 13-year-old boy, got a chain
>>> > > > letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that
>>> > > > day, he was hit by a car and so was his
>>> > > > boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way).
>>> > > > They both died and went to hell and were cursed
>>> > > > to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
>>> > > > This Could Happen To You Too!!!
>>> > > >
>>> > > > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
>>> > > > Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser
>>> > > friends, and everything will be okay.
>>> > > ----------------------------------------------
>>> > > > Chain Letter Type 4
>>> > > > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
>>> > > > Send it to all your friends.
>>> > > > FRIENDS
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of ,
and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of s.
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady.
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!
>>> > > --------------------------------------------
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find all your
knickers missing tomorrow morning
>>> > The love we give away is the only love we keep |
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| ADK |
yes, very good humour...
like it
ADK |
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| Sugarbean |
| nice one ..lol...brought tears to ma eyes!!! |
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| kansascity89 |
| in perfect, I am forwarding that to all those scores of morons who keep cluttering my damn inbox each and every day. |
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| JdDark |
| woooohooooo, that was too funny:D:D |
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| ResonantDrag |
lol:)
A wonderful reply to the great junk mail people, too. "no I don't want to earn up to $1000 a week" |
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| -=WVG=- |
| Wow, that is a f*ckin' long fwd-mail...but I like it! :) |
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| Opti |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sugarbean
nice one ..lol...brought tears to ma eyes!!! |
same for me! |
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