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new job stuff advice (pg. 2)
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| EddieZilker |
| quote: | Originally posted by JD8180
yes, and it sounded like a good idea. I went to the firm but they wouldn't let me in. I proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing on the glass door, staring dead into the receptionist's eyes while pointing at her. I spelled out "I am an alpha male" with my urine (I drank a gallon of water shortly before to make sure I had enough ammo) and zipped up and left. I really hope this works.
anyway, my manager spoke with me and told me she spoke with the manager at the firm this week and they said it's certain. unless this is a ridiculous joke, I think I'm good.
I couldn't really not tell my employer because the firm doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship with their client (my bank). so they didn't want to hire me unless they were sure that there would be no hard feelings. my manager, CFO, and the president always knew I would leave one day (I was just a peon in the accounting dept with and there was no room for moving up) and were always pretty supportive of that. my manager was the one that actually gave me the contact info for the manager at the firm, telling me that I could always try there if I wanted to look for an auditing firm. |
Oh, you'll sleep well, tonight. It's a lock. I wouldn't have tried that, but I think you sealed the deal. If you really want to be sure, follow the hiring manager home, tonight, and then to his favorite restaurant with his wife (or her husband), and then steal their car by raiding the valet's keybox and taking it to a somewhat remote location and abandoning it. Return with your car and offer assistance with a ride home, surreptitiously swinging by the place you left their car.
Make sure you damage the car with your car keys, before returning to the restaurant to pick up your boss. If the hiring manager has a wife, you should flirt with her while you change their punctured tire. If it's a woman, flirt with your hiring manager. If the spouse gets in the way, pull them to a discreet location, hit him in the gut really hard, and say, "Don't worry. When I'm done, she'll never want anyone else." See if you can't get her digits and arrange for a liaison, later on in the weekend. Make it fun and romantic. |
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| JD8180 |
Thank goodness today is Friday, most likely she will be heading out to dinner somewhere. I believe she has three children as well, I think I might get them involved in my master plan as well. I google-street-viewed their house so this will be a cake walk. I already visited during working hours when no one is home. I now know in what particular rooms each person sleeps in at night.
I really hope all of this will show my creativity and persistence that I can bring to the firm. |
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| EddieZilker |
| Remember, when all is said and done, a restraining order is just a test to see if you REALLY want the job. |
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| JD8180 |
| quote: | Originally posted by EddieZilker
Remember, when all is said and done, a restraining order is just a test to see if you REALLY want the job. |
noted. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Holy . This thread is ing aces. Lmfao. :stongue: :stongue: |
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| bas |
I'm glad people like Eddie Zilker are part of this forum to offer sound advice on such delicate matters. Can you imagine where washley would be now if he just listened to Eddie when he was trying to help him? That fool.
JD I admire your strong work ethic and "get it done" attitude. If things don't work out at with your new position, I may have some things available here in Los Angeles. |
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| EddieZilker |
| quote: | Originally posted by bas
I'm glad people like Eddie Zilker are part of this forum to offer sound advice on such delicate matters. |
It's all the RAGE. |
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| FuzzQi |
I've been switching back and forth between the two for quite some time
Also, they haven't got back to you yet because they're still deciding whether to hire you or ********. Or something. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| OH MAN. YOU'VE FOOLED ME FOR THE LAST TIME. :mad: |
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