|
I have a cold. (pg. 2)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| tubularbills |
 |
|
|
| Magadansky |
| Drink a lot of alcohol. You will forget that you are ill and by the time you remind yourself of that, you will be fine. |
|
|
| dayl1ght |
| quote: | Originally posted by EddieZilker
It's kind of a medium nasty head-cold. Wouldn't let me sleep, at all, last night. It's that stuffed up, achy nasal cavity with a productive cough, and a mild head-ache kind of cold. Definitely not the worst cold I've ever had but it's only beginning. Still...
I tend to get stupid when I have a cold. I mean, the sort of stupid which staggers the speech of reply, searching for some assembly of words which would have efficacy upon the utterly dimwitted listener, and drops the jaws of whoever happens to find themselves in a conversation. And I become exceedingly gullible. If you have a cure - some nostrum you would proscribe - put it here and I'll try it.
Hot coals to scare the demons out of my throat? Great idea! |
I actually have the Soviet secret to raping the out of any cold and I am going to reveal it to the general non-former soviet public for the first time ever. In my former country, cold catches YOU and thus our method of treatment is primarily geared towards escaping from its nasty grips. This is achieved fairly simply: Mr. Cold is extremely allergic to the steam! So, what you must do:
Take a pot and fill it with water. If you have any spices around the house, add just a little bit; or ginseng peppermint would actually be great, if you dont have anything throw just a little bit of onion into the water. Now, boil the water to a steady boil, and when you are ready get, prepared for escaping the cold by following steps:
1. Get something which you can rest the pot with boiling water on (like a ceramic tile or some I dont know what you use)
2. Put pot with water on kitchen table
3. Dress yourself in warm robes & get a giant towel
Now the exciting part!
4. Stand over the boiled water and cover yourself with the giant towel so that you are exposed to the steam in a micro environment created under the towel.
5. BREATHE MY FRIEND!! BREATHE!!!
6. you must stand and breathe in the onion filled steam! You will start to fill dizzy and your face will burn but you must continue to breathe!
7. Do this for about 5 - 10 minutes. By that time you should be totally plastered and extremely hot. Cover yourself with the towel, get under the sheets in your bed and just lay around, making sure you are very warm and wrapped.
I guarantee that after this procedure you should feel a million times better! It will clean the out of your sinuses and the spices / onion will kill a lot of the bacteria in your nose, sinuses, and throughout your respiratory system.
You can repeat this process every day until you get better, but I promise you after the 1st time you will notice a significant difference in how well you feel!
pm me for any further details
btw, this is also good for your pores, so you kill 2 birds with 1 stone |
|
|
| EddieZilker |
| quote: | Originally posted by Magadansky
Drink a lot of alcohol. You will forget that you are ill and by the time you remind yourself of that, you will be fine. |
Ah, the good old days. :p
I've had hangovers worse than the colds I've had.
I might actually have to try that, day|ight.
Right now I'm nursing a potent combination of Dextromethorphan, Pseudo-ephedrine, and diphenhydramine. Nicely dissociated. Almost time to read and head to bed. :) |
|
|
| couch-potato |
You realize Comrade Stalin posts on this ing board? Idiot.
Off to the Gulag with your singing-canary ass.
EDIT: GODDAMMIT EDDIE GET THE OUT FROM IN BETWEEN ME AND THE FORCED LABORER |
|
|
| wienerschnitzel |
| i have this awful death cold too, i've had it for 3 weeks now. the worst part is my 15 week old boy has it too, and sick babies is the ultimate fail. I can't sleep more then 1-2 hours at a time because he'll wake up crying, start coughing and sneezing.. mucus everywhere and then he'll start vomiting and more crying and after about an hour or so he'll settle enough to sleep for another couple of hours. it's been pretty epic and he's had it for about a week. :( |
|
|
| EddieZilker |
| quote: | Originally posted by wienerschnitzel
i have this awful death cold too, i've had it for 3 weeks now. the worst part is my 15 week old boy has it too, and sick babies is the ultimate fail. I can't sleep more then 1-2 hours at a time because he'll wake up crying, start coughing and sneezing.. mucus everywhere and then he'll start vomiting and more crying and after about an hour or so he'll settle enough to sleep for another couple of hours. it's been pretty epic and he's had it for about a week. :( |
Yikes! It's no where near that bad, here. Hopefully this is the crud my girlfriend just got over and not the crude you and your boy have. |
|
|
| wienerschnitzel |
| seriously.. i'm starting to think we have sars..lol. i can totally handle it if it was just me, but it's hard to see such a young guy go through it. i'll have just spent an hour getting him back to sleep and then i feel that ing itch in my throat and i KNOW i'm going to start coughing again.. and i do. hope you start feeling better and i seriously hope this builds really nice immunities or superpowers, either one will do. |
|
|
| EddieZilker |
| quote: | Originally posted by wienerschnitzel
seriously.. i'm starting to think we have sars..lol. i can totally handle it if it was just me, but it's hard to see such a young guy go through it. i'll have just spent an hour getting him back to sleep and then i feel that ing itch in my throat and i KNOW i'm going to start coughing again.. and i do. hope you start feeling better and i seriously hope this builds really nice immunities or superpowers, either one will do. |
It's definitely sad, and a little scary, when they're little like that. I hope he and you get better, soon. Three weeks long sounds like the one I had a couple of years ago. It's such a pain in the ass when it won't GTFO. |
|
|
| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by wienerschnitzel
i have this awful death cold too, i've had it for 3 weeks now. the worst part is my 15 week old boy has it too, and sick babies is the ultimate fail. I can't sleep more then 1-2 hours at a time because he'll wake up crying, start coughing and sneezing.. mucus everywhere and then he'll start vomiting and more crying and after about an hour or so he'll settle enough to sleep for another couple of hours. it's been pretty epic and he's had it for about a week. :( |
:wtf: :wtf: holy |
|
|
| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by EddieZilker
Right now I'm nursing a potent combination of Dextromethorphan, Pseudo-ephedrine, and diphenhydramine. Nicely dissociated. Almost time to read and head to bed. :) |
Christ. Popping so many drugs for a common cold. |
|
|
| Magadansky |
| quote: | Originally posted by EddieZilker
Ah, the good old days. :p
I've had hangovers worse than the colds I've had.
|
Bad hangovers are a result of bad drinking. If you can go somewhere out of the city fog, get some good quality alcohol (preferably something suitable for colds like rum, whiskey or tequila) and good food, you will recover in no time and your body AND soul will feel better! :) :p
P.S. Oh, and so many drugs for just a cold is not good. Next time you catch it, its gonna be worse. |
|
|
|
|
