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| ZeJayMan |
Notice the icon indicates you posted a message in it then you don't remember your comment, then you continue to batter through the thread to find your comment. Before finally realising that it was a completely useless contribution and a massive waste of time looking for it and also posting it in the first place.
Welcome to my world. |
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| Beats and Beeps |
I was selfish, i was wrong, now that you are gone nothing makes any sense.
All these years of and struggle, only to have brief moments of happiness with you by my side.
You understood me more than i did, you let it slide when i repressed my pain with vile liquid.
You smiled, you made me feel like it was ok even when it wasn't, you stood by me and i never gave half of what you did.
It wasn't because i didn't love you, depression is a 2 headed snake that never stops biting.
It isn't because I didn't want to get better, i tried, i tried, i lied, then i cried.
Could never catch that happiness from within, latched to your door i clutched and dragged you down into my depths.
Did it all loving you more than myself, can't look in the mirror, never could...a handsome man rotten from the inside.
A childhood robbed and an adulthood spent getting by on my outer shell...
That is all it was a shell hollow and dark the echoes bounce through the nothing within.
Now the only person i ever loved is gone...the only one my heart mind soul and body was ever faithful to.
Her love now hate, my cries too late, I am stuck with this bag of for a heart broken and smeared like cheap lipstick on the wall.
Selfish Selfish Selfish. Even when i tried to rise up the demons of my past never let me.
I am weak, you are right in not wanting me anymore, you can be happy, you deserve better..ing eggshells no more.
I can't even write this to you, because i want you not to have to live more of this festering .
It had to come up, i need to make peace before whatever is next.
Depression is a cruel whore, i'm taking her with me....she can't hurt me where i am going.
I was always afraid of the pain, of what would happen, such a chicken not realizing.
The pain is temporary and will be gone, and when it is nothing will be left.
No more having to live like this, being scared is no use...the fear won't last either...nothing just nothingness.
Sweet nothingness with no more pain.
To my family I am sorry, you tried to love me and did...it was my fault...these actions do not reflect you.
It is all about me, because i am the selfish one...i just can't take the repercussions of wallowing in self pitty and could have should have would have.
I've always been selfish, but this will be the last time i will be...no longer in anyone's way, not even my own.
I'm ready to sleep, i'm sorry for everything julie...may the sun shine bright on you.
I'm not afraid anymore...it ends now.
goodbye sweet friends, it is all on me and no one else's fault.
finally i won't have this stigma to live with anymore.
no funerals, no crying. |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by Beats and Beeps
I was selfish, i was wrong, now that you are gone nothing makes any sense.
All these years of and struggle, only to have brief moments of happiness with you by my side.
You understood me more than i did, you let it slide when i repressed my pain with vile liquid.
You smiled, you made me feel like it was ok even when it wasn't, you stood by me and i never gave half of what you did.
It wasn't because i didn't love you, depression is a 2 headed snake that never stops biting.
It isn't because I didn't want to get better, i tried, i tried, i lied, then i cried.
Could never catch that happiness from within, latched to your door i clutched and dragged you down into my depths.
Did it all loving you more than myself, can't look in the mirror, never could...a handsome man rotten from the inside.
A childhood robbed and an adulthood spent getting by on my outer shell...
That is all it was a shell hollow and dark the echoes bounce through the nothing within.
Now the only person i ever loved is gone...the only one my heart mind soul and body was ever faithful to.
Her love now hate, my cries too late, I am stuck with this bag of for a heart broken and smeared like cheap lipstick on the wall.
Selfish Selfish Selfish. Even when i tried to rise up the demons of my past never let me.
I am weak, you are right in not wanting me anymore, you can be happy, you deserve better..ing eggshells no more.
I can't even write this to you, because i want you not to have to live more of this festering .
It had to come up, i need to make peace before whatever is next.
Depression is a cruel whore, i'm taking her with me....she can't hurt me where i am going.
I was always afraid of the pain, of what would happen, such a chicken not realizing.
The pain is temporary and will be gone, and when it is nothing will be left.
No more having to live like this, being scared is no use...the fear won't last either...nothing just nothingness.
Sweet nothingness with no more pain.
To my family I am sorry, you tried to love me and did...it was my fault...these actions do not reflect you.
It is all about me, because i am the selfish one...i just can't take the repercussions of wallowing in self pitty and could have should have would have.
I've always been selfish, but this will be the last time i will be...no longer in anyone's way, not even my own.
I'm ready to sleep, i'm sorry for everything julie...may the sun shine bright on you.
I'm not afraid anymore...it ends now.
goodbye sweet friends, it is all on me and no one else's fault.
finally i won't have this stigma to live with anymore.
no funerals, no crying. |
Is that Jay's poem? |
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| LAdazeNYnights |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Is that Jay's poem? |
:haha: :haha: |
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| D-res |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Is that Jay's poem? |
Be careful quoting that. Suspensions abound. |
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| Theresa |
| I'm confused. Didn't he post that poem up on the boards? 1. Why would there be a suspension, and 2. why is it funny that I asked? |
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| igottaknow |
| every thing is (especially in the cor) |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by RandomGirl
I'm confused. Didn't he post that poem up on the boards? 1. Why would there be a suspension, and 2. why is it funny that I asked? |
After looking at the other threads, I see why my question was funny.
That's what I get for not checking TA often enough.
So, I get that Goebbel is Jay and that it is his poem. But who is the Beeps dude? |
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| bananas |
| quote: | Originally posted by ZeJayMan
Notice the icon indicates you posted a message in it then you don't remember your comment, then you continue to batter through the thread to find your comment. Before finally realising that it was a completely useless contribution and a massive waste of time looking for it and also posting it in the first place.
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haha:D it just happened to me |
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| owien |
| quote: | Originally posted by ZeJayMan
Welcome to my world. |
you need a holiday |
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| KilldaDJ |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
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| Vernon Wanderer |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
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