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funniest cybersex conversation
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View this Thread in Original format
| Lynx |
This is a transcript of an actual cyber sex session. As all of you are
well
aware, online computers are often used to engage in cybersex.
Detailed and fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly
transmitted over the internet. Sometimes these harmless fantasies become
fairly raunchy. This is not the
case with the following transcript of an actual on-line cybersex
session.
Either this guy is clueless or has the greatest sense of humour known to
mankind.
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
mini
skirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I workout
everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of
blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old
T-shirt,
it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the
stereo
and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling.
My
hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge
swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides
off
of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck.
Do
you have scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back
and
undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my
nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your
tongue
all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts
They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your
ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of
my
blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in
the
corner of the room.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard
tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in
and
out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a
cup.
Where do you keep your cups??
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.
Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
And
now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is
the
bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against
each
other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?
Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
nightstand.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom
Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
toilet and lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle.
Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your laundry basket. Sorry again.
I'm
walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm, woman's
thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm
having
a little problem here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another
second.
Slide it in! Screw me!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
my
face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all
floppy.
I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.
Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my
underwear
and my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the
dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your
candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting my shoes.
Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on
the
curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a shocked look
on
my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo! |
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| JdDark |
| damn, that was so funny,he should be here for the "Look in here" thread, hehehehehehe |
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| Henkie_henk |
Go here: http://www.fugly.com/
for more stuff like that..
Go to the "victims" section
Remember: This stuff is WAAAAY MORE CRUEL.. its no soft ass chat.. it can be quite offensive hehe :D |
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| Ckerr812 |
| hahah....that is sweet :) I was laughing my ass off.... |
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| Dj Lex |
I'm gonna do that too if I'm chatting with somebody. Lol. Thats totally ed up.
Laters |
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| [A|ienFactory] |
| quote: | Originally posted by Henkie_henk
Go here: http://www.fugly.com/
for more stuff like that..
Go to the "victims" section
Remember: This stuff is WAAAAY MORE CRUEL.. its no soft ass chat.. it can be quite offensive hehe :D |
hehe..I love that site!
:D |
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| Linx_da_cat |
| heheehe yeahh...it's real cruel. but still funny... |
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| lexiconavenue |
damn it, that was hilarious! excellent job lynx!
Lexi |
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| raver4life |
| quote: | Originally posted by Henkie_henk
Go here: http://www.fugly.com/
for more stuff like that..
Go to the "victims" section
Remember: This stuff is WAAAAY MORE CRUEL.. its no soft ass chat.. it can be quite offensive hehe :D |
daaaamn, fugly.com has gone to member's only? what's with that, like all the cool site that were free aren't that way anymore, kind of really sucks that way. Wish it would be free for us buggers who have no money and appreciate fun and FREE humour! |
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