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Debbie downer
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| srussell0018 |
I just want to preface this by saying i'm really not looking for sympathy. If anyone wants to use this as a means to take a jab at me or say anything negative towards me, please save it for another day.
Anyways, my grandfather passed away this weekend. He was my first grandparent, and rather my first close relative who has died. Whem i first found out, i felt rather numb. Being with my family now has brought out a whole load of emotions that i've never felt before. I feel like my religious beliefs have a lot to do with this. My family are all catholic, and as such, are comforted by "him being in a better place." Without those beliefs, i've been overcome with the grief of knowing that i will never be able to tell him how much he meant to me and how much he affected my life.
So, my main question is how have people (especially atheists) coped with losses like this? I see my relatives praying and taking solace in his passing to heaven, but i can't bring myself to believe in this, even though I wish that I could.
Really, any thoughts and/or suggestions that anyone could give on this would be greatly appreciated. I haven't really had the courage to talk about this in person with any friends out of fear of breaking down in front of them, so i've kept most of this to myself until now. Sorry for rambling, and please feel free to ignore if it will put any kind of damper on your day.
Thanks for listening if nothing else. Cheers. |
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| Renzo |
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm not an atheist, so I can't comment on that aspect of your question. |
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| Sushipunk |
Sorry to hear about your grandad. Mine died a few years ago as well.
There isn't really much you can do other than wait and let the grief pass over time, which it will. Just remember the good times that you had, and try to honour his memory by following any (good) advice he may have given you over the years. |
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| ziptnf |
Sorry, buddy, it's always tough :(
The only thing you can do is preserve your memories and continue your life. Most people who hope of a better place and eternal happiness in an afterlife have never considered the alternative as to what happens to our bodies when we die. Our brains stop functioning, and our souls don't rise out of our bodies and fly up to heaven to get judged at the pearly gates. We get burned or buried in the ground and we decompose and become part of the earth. The same thing happens to animals. It's the circle of life, as lame as that sounds. Take your memories of your grandfather and improve your life with his best wishes in mind, and know he probably died in some peaceful state of mind. Life goes on, as much as we sometimes don't want it to. |
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| Zyklon_Jay |
| sorry to hear this man, it sucks, but in time it will get easier. just don't masturbate for a little while in case he is watching. the rest is just about family. the older you get, the more you only tend to see certain people only at funerals...believe it or not it can make them suck less too. you should also head to your nearest bar and get some sympathy . if he is watching that he'll be proud. use some tears, but not too much, because after the first 2 minutes of crying the window is likely closed. good luck bro. |
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| Imagin |
| You deal with it and you move on. |
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| wienerschnitzel |
| Sorry about your loss, I just lost my granddad a few weeks ago. He was from Belfast. I was close with him and am still filled with disbelief that he is gone. Sometimes I take a moment and think of all his funny mannerisms, the smart-ass things he would say, All the advice he gave me, even the sound of his voice. If I can preserve those things it brings me comfort. I hope you will find some comfort too. |
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| Joss Weatherby |
Take joy in the lives of those who've passed.
When my mothers father passed away they waited for like 3 months and then had a giant memorial party with people sharing stories of him and things like that (he lived in a fairly small town in Oregon, so everyone knew everyone really, and he was a large orchard owner). It was really fun and it wasn't a sad event. I think his age though had to do with it, he was like 94, and he died of natural causes peacefully.
My fathers father on the other hand was like the week after he died and it was a bull annoying episcopalian service, and his bitch second wife made it all about her, and everyone was sad and . He died fairly young (in his 70s) and had a rapid decline... But it was dumb.
Anyway, my point is take joy in the life that the person lived and remember fondly on your interactions with them. |
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| tubularbills |
| just FYI it never gets easier. |
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| Lews |
Sorry for your loss, man.
Wish I had some advice :( |
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| Amduscias |
:( Sorry for your loss
I have never lost anyone, death however, is something i think about almost on a daily basis, i keep having thoughts on how my grandmother is not getting any younger, years are going by so quickly and i feel like i am wasting a lot of quality time i could be spending with her.
Personally, i think you should talk to someone about this issue, getting all those thoughts out of your system, even for a few minutes, will make you feel a little better. After that it is just a matter of time as mentioned above. |
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| Desiderata |
Sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma in October so I defiantly feel your pain and know time really does heal all wounds. As an Atheist I have found that I believe the soul becomes part of the universe and a persons energy can live on in your memories and your perception. I know this sounds like such a contradiction but I separate reincarnation from religion. I think as an Atheist I just do this for comfort. That's how I do this process as an Atheist.
Again... Sorry for your loss. |
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