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Story-retelling: Make up your best stories. Again, and again, and again. (pg. 2)
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| nefardec |
| quote: | Originally posted by Tasty Onions
I saw your status earlier and laughed.
Don't really agree with the Theresa comparison made by some, though. You're not in "Why don't they provide parachutes on passenger jets in case of a crash?" territory...yet.
:toothless |
and it's not like i go around posting mixes, getting into arguments, and pretending to be a girl, like some members here... |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
and it's not like i go around posting mixes, getting into arguments, and pretending to be a girl, like some members here... |
:stongue: |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | My team and I were deployed deep in the marshlands of what I was told was called "South F.L." For us, it may as well have been south of everything but Hell.
The teeming humidity ensured that we wouldn't last a week before withering- especially if left on the countertop with the cereal. Our crispy, cheesy-dusted goodness would ensure we become stale rinds; husks of the crunchy corn-chips we used to embody. If only I'd known that day this would prove to be all too true. But we couldn’t worry about that, after all, we had a mission: To infiltrate the rank and queue of the dreaded Rœs-mar’tin, Nocturnal Devourer.
The inconspicuous orange foil of our personnel carrier belied a crack-team of weathered commandos, several of which had seen action at Quinceañeras , pool parties, and school dances – a few of my men had even served time in the couch of a college fraternity for several years. We were as prepared as we would ever be.
11:13am: We sensed the shifting of our transport by the beast’s hammy fingers. The ruse to finagle ourselves into its daily routine had worked, thanks to a cleverly-devised barrage of coupons for Baked Lays distributed to the household around the resource-gathering time of the creature’s maternal feeder. Cooperation with the Publix Corporation, as well as the sacrifice of those brave chips, would ensure our victory on this day.
11:16am: The creature stirs outside of our carrier. We sense we have been tactically stolen away with and deposited in its lair. Its moist paws slide and crinkle the shell, but do not penetrate the bag for fear of violating the savor that must be welling up in its glands. It prefers the freshest kills; the light puff of air pressure in its face as it storms the gates of our foil, inhaling deeply with its porcine nostrils. Duly noted.
11:36am: My men are nervous. For outside of the walls that so thinly separate us from certain consumption, the beast bellows its cacophony of fragments and unnecessarily-pitched assertions at some other entity into some sort of communication device. Our sensors can detect only traces of Bean-Speak, but we have derived that the creature has deemed itself unfit, and seeks to rectify this by visiting some sort of all-hours gymnasium. We all fear for our safety.
11:58am: We have arrived at whatever destination the creature sought for fitness- the tension is building amongst us, for our entire brand's certain doom is at hand should this creature gain an increase in mobility such that gas station parking is no longer a challenge in seeking sustenance. We are within another bag used to house disgusting garments the creature sheds to retain its moisture. A disturbing hush falls over us, for we know the devourer has departed to go exercise- but for how long?
12:04pm: The creature is apparently finished with its routines; the sound of its glistening folds a clear indicator of its duress. Our greatest fears come at the breaking of our gates soon after the creature sets down again- it is hideous. Through the hastily separated void in our foil armour, we can see its ponderous visage, pouring with excitement and delight at its soon-to-be gorging. The first of my comrades died before me, his angles swallowed whole by those enormous, flapping lips, fragments of his frame crumbling upon our startled faces. Johnson had been Dorito recon for 6 months. I hoped that his hardened edges cut the beast's mouth... but even if they did, they proved no impasse toward its avarice, for pieces of Johnson dusted the Rœs-mar'tin's upper lip-fibers...
I can barely bring myself to put to words quite what followed. The rest of the day saw my entire unit wiped out, periodic handfuls at a time. I can still hear the crinkling sound in my head, the horrid crunch of those good chips echoing throughout the increasing vacancy of our carrier. I was only able to deliver this report to my employers because of a narrow escape from the creature’s maw when it nearly steered into oncoming traffic. I spent 3 weeks underneath the driver’s seat of the beast’s late-90s Ford Focus before being swept off in a grocery bag filled with drinking straw wrappers and taco bell receipts; artifacts of victims I would never know. Rumours abound of the creature’s affinity for a certain cured tobacco, and the ensuing carnage that would see the demise of the Baked Lays decoys the Brass had approved of to make our mission possible. This entry is proof that their deaths were not in vain. Frito-Lay has its report, and can better administer the breadth of flavours and marketing tactics to its single, highest bidder: Rœs-mar'tin. |
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| bananas |
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
it was also mean spirited. wtf? |
jesus...seriously? |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
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Holy :stongue: :stongue: |
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| FuzzQi |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Meat's parody of Avana's girlfriend account of how she was harassed by the pizza deliverer - as told by the delivery guy - was pure gold, and it gave me an idea for a fun thread: Make up a random story, and tell it from the perspective of someone else involved in it. Feel free to continue the story. New versions may, of course, add more people, so we can keep the game going.
I'm going to tell a story about one of my favourite TA's:
Ready? Go! |
lololol Marcus it's as if Murakami wrote Inception |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Meat's parody of Avana's girlfriend account of how she was harassed by the pizza deliverer - as told by the delivery guy - was pure gold, and it gave me an idea for a fun thread: Make up a random story, and tell it from the perspective of someone else involved in it. Feel free to continue the story. New versions may, of course, add more people, so we can keep the game going.
I'm going to tell a story about one of my favourite TA's:
Ready? Go! |
There wasn't enough trains in that story. :mad: |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
'guy in a wig' comments. |
You still have a penis right? Do you wear a wig, or is your hair so ty that it looks like a wig?
You shouldn't get mad at people who get confused. You were confused once too, remember! ;) |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| Also Lira, were you really butt hurt that I said I didn't like Japanese girls. They are good looking, a lot of them, far more on average in terms of here in the states, but like I said, I don't find them that attractive, at least if you use the word to mean all qualities that one might find desirable in a person. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
Also Lira, were you really butt hurt that I said I didn't like Japanese girls. They are good looking, a lot of them, far more on average in terms of here in the states, but like I said, I don't find them that attractive, at least if you use the word to mean all qualities that one might find desirable in a person. |
Not really, my brother is the same (though I like to tease him for having had two half-Japanese girlfriends - out of a total of two long relationships :p).
I decided to write the story about Ford (and not you, Cliff), because I imagined someone so much like you would be fine with this and play along, reason why I added someone extremely Lira-like in the story as well. If you don't like it, however, I can always re-start it from scratch and/or delete the thread :)
Edit: And I'd be hard-pressed to say why a group of people is (un)attractive... specially in a short story hastily written :toothless |
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