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Helping & Harming
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| Lira |
Spare a change?
She had a cute blue-eyed blond kid on her lap, both looking at me with rosy cheeks and swollen eyes - probably due to the incessant mosquito bites common during the rainy season. However, neither looked weak, frail, or in desperate need. She was quite chubby herself, young, and a bit cute. Brazil is pretty much a nation of softies, and I'm sure people have always promptly helped her and the kid when asked. But, I had no money on me. I had just arrived at the restaurant, and I usually carry nothing but my credit card.
Sorry, I've got just my debit card.
Can you buy me lunch?
The moment she said that, I felt my heart punch me for not having offered this before. I looked down and started doing the maths, hastily checking if I'd have the money to buy her (and possibly her kid) something to eat, and checking if the owner of the place would mind. But, why would they mind? I couldn't refrain from giving somone food, could I? The sheer thought of denying someone something as basic as food sounded repulsive to me.
Well, get your plate then. This is a self-service restaurant, pick what you want and then I'll pay for yo--
I'm sorry, can you come with me for a second? - the owner approached the begger - The place closes in an hour, and there's plenty of food every day. If you wait till closing time, you can have as much food as you want, and we'd be happy to serve you.
I thought it was so sweet of the owner. Like I said, Brazil is a nation of softies, and the owner confirmed the stereotype.
Good, you're going to get as much as you want then. You can probably even score some dessert!
Could you still buy me food?
Wait, why? Didn't she say they'll give you all you want in an hour. Besides, if they see you begging, they may change their mind an--
But I don't want to wait!
The moment she said this she stormed off my table and looked for someone else to beg to. I was so astonished I didn't know what else to say to her. The restaurant owner had given her the opportunity to have as much food as she wanted, yet she wanted everything her way. It didn't look like she had been starving or anything. She was just... dare I say it? Spoiled. Spoiled by other people's kindness.
It hurt me more than an insult, somehow, because it was an attack on my very own sense of humanity. She wanted me to pity her not because she needed - and she probably did - but because she knew someone else would give her what she wanted when she wanted. And I wonder if it's this sense of emergency that may have kept her in poverty. She learnt not to wait, a basic duty in community life. And it struck me... can you always tell help and harm apart? |
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| srussell0018 |
If she was quite chubby, that should've been your first red flag.
I tend to not give money/food to fat beggars. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
If she was quite chubby, that should've been your first red flag. |
You can't always rely on this as an indicator. Some parasites make the stomach look swollen, and poor health can always mess your hormones up.
I'm sure someone with a sound medical background can explain in more detail. |
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| srussell0018 |
| There's a difference between having a distended stomach and being fat. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
There's a difference between having a distended stomach and being fat. |
Oh, she wasn't fat. She was, at best, like me. Maybe I used the wrong word. I just meant to say she had love handles, but she wasn't overweight or anything. |
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| Banora |
| quote: | | She had a cute blue-eyed blond kid on her lap, both looking at me with rosy cheeks and swollen eyes |
Ew. A kid. I stopped there. |
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| Desiderata |
| Were you alone? Who were the other people she went up to, to ask them if they could buy her food? |
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| KilldaDJ |
as soon as you clocked it, about-turn and go elsewhere.
easy. |
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| Blake |
Pssh! Maan, we become so indifferent to that kind of BS here. So many people here try so many different tactics when it comes to begging. Meanwhile, these s have checking and savings accounts! I simply have to be in a giving mood to actually give. Sometimes I'll look a person straight in the eye and know they're BSing me, and still give, just for the heck of it. Most of the time though, FTS!
One of my favorite stories is of a woman here who traverses the subway system with her 5 or 6 yr old daughter in her arms, begging for money. As she walks through each train car, her daughter lies limp in her arms, as if she hasn't eaten in weeks, while her mother tells their sob story. Then, as soon as they've finished collecting money, she practically drops her daughter to the ground, and the kid starts running around and playing with all of the energy of a perfectly healthy child, saying like, "I did good mommy, right!?"
Needless to say, at least a handful of passengers have either cursed them out, threatened to call the authorities, or at the very least called them out for being frauds in the middle of their little act. Most homelessness, in this country, is the result of schizophrenia. Everyone else just needs to get it together, and work! Some of these people have the audacity to treat you as if you owe them something. There was one period in my life where I'd just shout, "NO!" at anyone who asked for anything, regardless of who they were. There are just too many places you can go for help, in this country, if you really want to be helped.:o |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Your mom's house comes to mind. |
inb4delete |
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| Meat187 |
| Yeah guys, I know. I, too, have promised myself many times to not click Lira threads again. But once again I couldn't help myself. Sometimes they have boobies inside, you know. |
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| Lira |
That stuff also happens here, Blake, but whereas they usually ask for money, this is the first time I've seen someone beg for food when they didn't have to.
| quote: | Originally posted by Desiderata
Were you alone? Who were the other people she went up to, to ask them if they could buy her food? |
I was alone at the time, my fiancée got her food first, and I was waiting at the table. The restaurant was nearly empty. That's why the owner spotted the woman so quickly.
| quote: | Originally posted by KilldaDJ
as soon as you clocked it, about-turn and go elsewhere.
easy. |
I was sitting at the table. I had nowhere else to go :p |
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