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Sorority letter upbraid...
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| Big Worm |
I thought this was pretty funny. A sorority girl giving her sorority sisters a harsh dressing down....
"If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough ing ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been ING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so ing AWKWARD and so ing BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to ing find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying , and Sigma Nu does not give a flying , about how much you ing love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the ing year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I ing repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not ing possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE ING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE ING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little s that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people ing retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do ing NOT convince other girls to leave with you.
"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID ING ASS HATS, IT ING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW ING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ING UP AT SOBER ING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being ing WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid s and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not ing funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. ing. Team. ARE YOU ING STUPID?!! I don't give a about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU ING BLIND? Or are you just so ing dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE ING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR ING MATCHUP. I will ing **** punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a if you SOR me, I WILL ING ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird that does weird during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.
I'm not ing kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not ing awkward than 80 that are ing ******s. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't ing show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to ing God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a . Go yourself."
http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read
Dramatic interpretation:
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| Lira |
| I lack the cultural background needed to understand this rant. Could someone translate this to non-North Americans? Why is she angry at her "sisters" and what is it I don't even... |
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| Vector A |
| Lol, Michael Shannon is great. |
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| Vector A |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
I lack the cultural background needed to understand this rant. Could someone translate this to non-North Americans? Why is she angry at her "sisters" and what is it I don't even... |
Do you at least know what fraternities and sororities are?
If so, I can start from there... |
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| srussell0018 |
| DG was the super hot super slutty sorority at our school. |
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| Spacey Orange |
or you could watch:
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vector A
Do you at least know what fraternities and sororities are?
If so, I can start from there... |
All right, I skimmed over the link Spacey Orange posted, and there's the little I know from films. So, if I understand correctly, they're like gigantic republics/clubs for mutual aid when there's shortage of housing, food, and alcohol.
She's from a female group, and there's something about meeting people from a male group. I assume she's angry because she wants them to be popular with the guys, but I'm not sure I understand why she can't do it herself, and why this all sounds so formal like nothing could happen outside these organisations. |
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| srussell0018 |
| Honestly you'll never understand if you weren't in one so its kind of fruitless to try. Anything you'll here from people who weren't in them are usually just one of many stereotypes that are (usually) not true. |
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| Zharen |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
All right, I skimmed over the link Spacey Orange posted, and there's the little I know from films. So, if I understand correctly, they're like gigantic republics/clubs for mutual aid when there's shortage of housing, food, and alcohol.
She's from a female group, and there's something about meeting people from a male group. I assume she's angry because she wants them to be popular with the guys, but I'm not sure I understand why she can't do it herself, and why this all sounds so formal like nothing could happen outside these organisations. |
Unsure if to :stongue:
OR
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| Joss Weatherby |
The whole Greek system seems so dumb to me for some reason...
My aunts and two of my cousins went Greek in college, I can't remember which sorority, but yea, just seems pointless. |
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| Lira |
| I'm not American, Zharen, this whole thing is completely alien to me, so if you could be so kind as to explain the reason behind the facepalm, I'd appreciate it. This makes no sense to a foreigner, and I'm interested in your culture, if you don't mind :rolleyes: |
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