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My life sux-hardest decision in life so far (pg. 2)
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| Swamper |
Imilk, Trance Canada - your attitudes suck.
On to the topic at hand - if you go with your dad to Texas and break off ties with this girl then not only will you resent him forever but you'll also wonder if that was the girl for you.
Circumstance sucks. I'd take the time you have now (before you might end up moving) to determine what your chances are with this girl and if it's worth the warfare that'll break out (with your parents) if you decide to stay in Cali. |
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| Maaz |
I understand your point mate... ask her out, and depending of what comes out from it, talk to her, make your move or consider moving to Texas. Remember these wise words: | quote: | "It's better to regret something you have done, then something you haven't"
Orbital - Satan |
hmm... in fact...
*phones someone*
Nah, she's not home :p |
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| SportTrance |
I don't think staying would be wise, at all.
First off, realize, you're 19 years old. I know you think its older, and more grown up, and this and that, which it is, but if this is the hardest decision you've ever had to made, things can't really be that tough. Second, you're putting a 3 month friendship before your family. Also keep in mind the girl hasnt really shown any interested, and has basically told you, her busy schedule (aka priorities), come first. I am assuming you haven't graduated college, nor started a career. You're letting a 3 month friendship with a girl get in the way of some important here. We've all had our flings, our little "damn she's perfect", etc.etc.... But you got to keep your head straight, and you got to think about the future. If you we're 30 years old, with a career, an education, and for some reason had to move, the choice for your decision would be a little bit easier. Just remember, this girls putting her priorities before you.
What you need to do, is sit down with your father, and talk about that relationship. Though you may not realize it, this would severely damage the relationship with your father, if you do not talk it over and clarify things up. I can't stress enough how important family is.
The chances of this girl being there in 20-30 years for you, is like 15%. The chances of your parents being there for you, 100%. I think this is all really surrounded around your father, more than anything. You apparently want to just get away. If you're so grown up to make such an important decision, get some balls, get on your ass, sit down, and talk with your father.
I assume you're going to become financially independent if you do stay. Just realize, thats seriously going to affect a lot of things. Paying for college, rent, food, etc. Not easy. I assume you haven't graduated college yet, or started a career. A lot of kids don't even go to college, simply cuz they don't have the money to. You got to make ends meet. Eitherway, risking family, education, and over all living, over a 3 month friendship with a girl that is not even 100% interested, is just plain stupid. Your family and your education, stick with you, for the rest of your life. Stay in school, let your parents help you out, take advantage, go to college, and you'll find decisions like this, are much easier to make.
You say you want to experience the real life, then stay, and pay all the bills. Work 9 to 5. You'll see what the real life is like. Its a little bit more than bumpy. Just realize that 80% of teenagers that leave home, come back home. If you move back in, thats not only degrading, and kills your dignity, it shows your parents, you REALLY aren't ready and its going to be a long while before they think you are.
Its your life. Good luck with your choice.
But I'll tell you one thing now, if that woman leaves, becomes officially not interested, or finds someone else, you're gonna feel like one stupid mother ******. |
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| butterfly |
i think you should stay in cali. but at the same time, i think staying for a girl is stupid. you're 19. you can find another girl. i hear the girls in TX are hot, actually, not that i am one to judge.
you have to learn to live with change. if cali means that much to you stay there. but you should consider the financial implications to yourself if you do and what greater problems you could cause for yourself. |
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| Slylee |
| i say follow your heart. you only live once and life without love is boring. if it doesn't work out with her, then at least you had the experience and hopefully learned from it. that's what life is about. i am extremely spontaneous (or "unstable" if you wanna be a dick about it) so i say screw it...stay in cali if that's what you truely want. try to have a heart to heart with your dad too. dont just rebel. in another 2 years you'll be at that age where you should be thinking about moving out anyway! make sure you have a plan though when you talk to your parents. dont just say, "hey im gonna stay here". find a job first or go to school or something so you at least sound like you know what you're doing. whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it for yourself as well as other reasons. i think you wanting to stay is romantic. dont overwhelm her though. the ball's in her court. just be patient and even a little "hard to get". she'll be putty in your hands;) |
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| SportTrance |
| quote: | | Originally posted by Slylee the ball's in her court. just be patient and even a little "hard to get". she'll be putty in your hands;) |
Unfortunately the ball will always be in her court. She's got homecourt advantage (literally), and nothing to lose. If this doesn't work out, she won't be the one losing. From my impression, if this girl wasn't there, he'd be moving to Texas. If he stays, I just hope things work out, or this guy is setting himself up for a broken pissed off heart. |
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| Slylee |
| well i dont think he should run from all of this to avoid getting hurt. then he'll develop this defense mechanism complex. and he'll always kick himself for not knowing what would have happend. you can't go through your entire life and never get hurt. it's part of the whole package. you live and learn. |
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| Fir3start3r |
Hmmm...
Somewhat hits close to home, I've been there and I'm sure a few others have as well.
I used to live in British Columbia (Canada) and I fell for this girl before MY parents told me that we're moving to Ontario!
Now, granted I was only 16 but that SUCKED!!!
I could have stayed with my uncle if I wanted, my parents did give me that option but I never took it.
Why?
Work opportunities mainly and my education was a big second.
Not too many big colleges or university were I used to be.
Sadly I let her go, but I never regretted it.
I know finding 'the one' can take a long time.
Hell I can name the number of women/girls I went out with on one hand because I just had respect for the girls I knew or was very picky (I choose the later).
My advice, move on.
I'll hurt like a bitch for the first while. I remember after I moved, I played this one song over and over and over for a while...
But it landed up being the right move for me, long term.
Think long term, my friend.
And bite the bullet, there's more great ones out there, I promise. :) |
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| SportTrance |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
well i dont think he should run from all of this to avoid getting hurt. then he'll develop this defense mechanism complex. and he'll always kick himself for not knowing what would have happend. you can't go through your entire life and never get hurt. it's part of the whole package. you live and learn. |
We'll I agree with that, but in this case, he's gonna lose a little more than just her you know?, not just her, but his relationship with his father, his family in general. He may also lose his chances of gettin an early education (if his parents are willing to pay in the first place). I keep stressing education, because you don't NEED a college education to survive in this life, but it does make your life a bit easier in the future.
All in all, I'm just saying thats a lot to risk over a 3 month friendship. If they were deeply in love, and have been going out for the past 2 years or something, this situation and my opinion would be different. I just don't think there's enough ground to stand on to stay. Eitherway, his life will change naturally (moving to another state or leaving your parents), regardless of the decision, the question is, which one is more beneficial for HIM in the long run. |
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| DJ Chrono |
my opinion:
if you have the money, stay in calafornia. it's where you grew up, it's where your friends are, its where your girl is. but if you dont think your ready to live on your own.. then go with your parents to texas. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by SportTrance
We'll I agree with that, but in this case, he's gonna lose a little more than just her you know?, not just her, but his relationship with his father, his family in general. He may also lose his chances of gettin an early education (if his parents are willing to pay in the first place). I keep stressing education, because you don't NEED a college education to survive in this life, but it does make your life a bit easier in the future.
All in all, I'm just saying thats a lot to risk over a 3 month friendship. If they were deeply in love, and have been going out for the past 2 years or something, this situation and my opinion would be different. I just don't think there's enough ground to stand on to stay. Eitherway, his life will change naturally (moving to another state or leaving your parents), regardless of the decision, the question is, which one is more beneficial for HIM in the long run. |
i see your point, however the one thing i disagree with is choosing your family over someone you love (like a partner). you aren't going to live with mommy and daddy forever. that's what happens when you get older...you fall in love and get married and make a life. then that partner IS your family. as much as i love my family and am close w/ both parents, if i had someone i was IN LOVE with and they didn't approve i'd tell them tough ...but that's just me. |
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| SportTrance |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
i see your point, however the one thing i disagree with is choosing your family over someone you love (like a partner). you aren't going to live with mommy and daddy forever. that's what happens when you get older...you fall in love and get married and make a life. then that partner IS your family. as much as i love my family and am close w/ both parents, if i had someone i was IN LOVE with and they didn't approve i'd tell them tough ...but that's just me. |
Right. Read what I said in a previous post "If they were deeply in love, and have been going out for the past 2 years or something, this situation and my opinion would be different."
But I don't believe he's ever mentioned loving her, and obviously, we know she doesn't love him as of yet, or atleast that she stated she's not ready for a "boyfriend" yet due to her busy schedule (aka, definitely not in love).
"She told me that she only see me as a friend but didn’t say that she didn’t like me. She told me to give us time and get to know each other because she’s not ready to have a boyfriend because of her busy schedule."
I mean, c'mon....The idea of her saying boyfriend is also a turn off IMO. The word relationship and boyfriend definitely mean two different things. If thats exactly what she said, she should've mentioned that she's not interested in having a RELATIONSHIP, not a boyfriend. Boyfriend just sounds way too, " fors and giggles" imo. Apparently she means any boyfriend in general. I dunno, the word boyfriend/girlfriend just sounds too temporary.
If they were both fully in love with each other, this whole story would be different. |
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