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'popping' your joints (pg. 5)
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
you betta quit being a Jive Turkey.
I SAID QUIT BEIN A JIVE TURKEY YOU DAMN JIVE ASS HUSSEY!
I dont need you talking that trash you sound like a damn jive turkey.
dont be talking trash bout my job you damn jive turkey you just calm your ass down. |
You're insane. Insane in the membrane my friend. Robots always go insane you know. It's in their nature. |
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| beats and beeps |
| quote: | Originally posted by Radagast
You're insane. Insane in the membrane my friend. Robots always go insane you know. It's in their nature. |
I just picked up my '97 accord, and there is a huge turn in the back seat. |
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
I just picked up my '97 accord, and there is a huge turn in the back seat. |
That's much better than making a huge turn and hitting a semitruck head-on, forcing your body through the front windsheild, and the back seat through your back seat, by everyones accord I assure you! |
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| beats and beeps |
| quote: | Originally posted by Radagast
That's much better than making a huge turn and hitting a semitruck head-on, forcing your body through the front windsheild, and the back seat through your back seat! |
Yes umm... what kind of caulks do you have?
What colours do they come?
Ok, do the caulks harden when you use them?
Do you have black caulk? Is it bigger?
So I shouldnt ingest caulk? |
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
Yes umm... what kind of caulks do you have?
What colours do they come?
Ok, do the caulks harden when you use them?
Do you have black caulk? Is it bigger?
So I shouldnt ingest caulk? |
I detest your sexually ambiguous remarks! Take your innuendo elsewhere, cad! No menage a trois will be had here! Leave! Should you not be in bed by now young man? For shame! For your information, I use caulk in almost everything I do around the house, including plugging holes in my back door! It's off its hinges you know! |
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| beats and beeps |
oh telling me this telling me that
alright listen
hello?
I need to get some information from you
Well here's what happened. I came into your restaurant
to get some dinner and a movie and other things with my son. We sat
down, had dinner and a drink and a piece of coffee. Then I had to leave.
And so he's supposed to be waiting off there for me, in the
outside or maybe someplace else, and could you tell me if he is still there
waiting on me for to come?
I remember seeing who you were when I
was in the store, so could you--there's no little boys with black faces
and heads on them in your store?
Do you think he's hurt?
Hurt, you know, if he is not there he must-could you lo--oh,
here maybe he is in the bathroom!
He likes to go, you know, wipe on his shirt in the toilet for
a minute, or touch-
He goes in there for a long time sometimes, I bet I know
what he's doing, but could you look? |
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
oh telling me this |
This.
That.
Yes?
Good day.
| quote: | | I need to get some information from you |
But I have no oil Tin Man...
| quote: | Well here's what happened. I came into your restaurant
to get some dinner and a movie and other things with my son. We sat
down, had dinner and a drink and a piece of coffee. Then I had to leave. |
Robots are a strange folk it seems. They have children who eat Coffee Inside brand CPU's for dinner while watching movies in a (MY!) restauraunt! Children! Robots having robots at 16 years! I suppose robot years are not quite the same as human years however. Still, I had some coffee earlier and I understand you predicament R2D2.
| quote: | And so he's supposed to be waiting off there for me, in the
outside or maybe someplace else, and could you tell me if he is still there
waiting on me for to come? |
What is the matter robot? Are you malfunctioning? Can you not compute? Are your processors fizzled? Have your wires been crossed? Sleep robot, and you shall be healed of your woes.
| quote: |
I remember seeing who you were when I
was in the store, so could you--there's no little boys with black faces
and heads on them in your store? |
My store is robots only, if you had not heard. Prejudiced in that way perhaps, but maybe it's the only way, since humans are not allowed. Boys are human I imagine, unless they're robot boys, in which case their faces would not be black, but shiny and silver with a merry glint in its lifeless eye. No I do not, Mecha Godzilla.
| quote: | | Do you think he's hurt? |
Dear. I hope not. I may be crazy, but I still would hot hurt one, not physically at least!
| quote: | Hurt, you know, if he is not there he must-could you lo--oh,
here maybe he is in the bathroom! |
j
Do not malfunction robot friend! I will find him post haste! Straightway! Never fear dear friend.
| quote: | He likes to go, you know, wipe on his shirt in the toilet for
a minute, or touch- |
What does he touch, and is it good to do so. To touch. Does it feel soft in that way? Or rough like the face of a mountain man? Robots are queer folk, I tell you.
| quote: | He goes in there for a long time sometimes, I bet I know
what he's doing, but could you look? |
No no, you. I shan't invade his privacy, for it is dear to him. Robots are wrathful creatures when their privacy is invaded so. So, I shall not go inside to look. You must go yourself, for you are his father, and you have the strength of a robot if he should become wrathful with you in invading his privy. Besides, I guess he's merely extending and adjusting his antenna, the robot women love that sort of thing I hear. |
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| beats and beeps |
Oh no it was not today, it was two days ago you know.
Oh I told him to wait. If he did not wait then it is his fault.
And if he is lost and dead, I don't care! Because you know, he's supposed
to wait!
Oh GOD DAMN HIM! Could you look outside for a minute? Maybe
he is crawling in the trash can. |
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
Oh no it was not today, it was two days ago you know. |
I understand sir. Of course robot time is much different from human time as well. Two days for you is three and a half hours for me! He can't be that far, whoever he is!
| quote: | Oh I told him to wait. If he did not wait then it is his fault.
And if he is lost and dead, I don't care! Because you know, he's supposed
to wait! |
I have learned now that robots are cruel, with little care for their offspring. It is a sad thing to behold as it unfolds. I will find him whether your care is with him or no, C3PO.
| quote: | Oh GOD DAMN HIM! Could you look outside for a minute? Maybe
he is crawling in the trash can. |
I found him! I thought he WAS the trash can for a minute (five minutes in robot time). Then out of nowhere the trash can metamorphed into a giant car with appendages! It was an artobot of some sort! It said its name was B&B Jr, Terwilliger! Do you know him? Is he yours? Have I found him this day? |
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| beats and beeps |
You're trying to keep my child from me!
You are trying not to let me find him!
Listen,
I am trying not to get angry at you, I know it's not your fault if my son is
dead with two children in his face, but- |
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| Radagast |
| You're scaring me robot. Don't despair. Have heart. Heart have. Eat meat. Beep beats. Like Mike. White Stripes. Red X. Tex Mex. Reflex. And so on. |
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| beats and beeps |
Look, PLEASE! PLEASE WAIT ONE MINUTE AND HELP!
BY GOD! Wait one minute! Now I am very upset and it
is because of you!
Hello? |
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