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J o k e s !
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| dj_s_harrison |
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into heaven, I have to ask you something. Your answer will depend on what kind of car you get. You have to have a car in heaven because heaven is so big!"
The first guy walks up and Peter asks the first guy, "How long were you married?"
The first guy says, "Twenty-four years."
"Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Peter asks.
The guy says, "Yeah, seven times, but you said I was forgiven."
Peter says, "Yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."
The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter. The second guy says, "I was married for forty-one years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out well."
Peter says, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln."
The third guy walks up and says, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for sixty-three years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"
Peter says, "That's what I like to hear. Here's you Jaguar!"
A little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto see the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk so they go see what was the matter. When they ask the guy with the Jaguar what is wrong, he says, "I've just seen my wife and she was on a skateboard!"
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What have KFC and (fit) women got in common ?
They have nice breasts
They have nice legs
And a greasy bucket to stick your bones in
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Wats the best sex position to make ugly babies?
Ask your mum !
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Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.
The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."
Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water." |
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| Maaz |
| hehe, the first joke is very good :) The last one is good too, but I already knew it because it's very popular here (though we just use it to make fun of Argentina :D) |
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