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5 Signs You May Actually Be a Narcissist (pg. 2)
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| Zoso |
| Shouldn't #1 be "frequenting TA COR"? |
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| Spacey Orange |
| the list describes my ex almost to a T. One time I was driving her suv and when parking, I stupidly opened the drivers door without looking and sent in a bicyclist flying into a busy street. She was bleeding and injured (she broke a finger it turned out), but my ex was only pissed at me for damaging her SUV. No concern for the bicyclists well-being. I knew then that she wasn't the one for me. |
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| Sandsider |
| I reckon the 'suv' was a bit of a giveaway . |
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| AlphaStarred |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spacey Orange
the list describes my ex almost to a T. One time I was driving her suv and when parking, I stupidly opened the drivers door without looking and sent in a bicyclist flying into a busy street. She was bleeding and injured (she broke a finger it turned out), but my ex was only pissed at me for damaging her SUV. No concern for the bicyclists well-being. I knew then that she wasn't the one for me. |
your ex sounds more like a psychopath than a narcissist. |
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| Alex |
No. A psychopath would have probably been able to perfectly pretend to care about what HE cared about which was the cyclist.
Might have murdered him eventually too, or something, but ya.
Psychopathy is actually really fascinating (and scary) because of how perfectly they can replicate emotions to manipulate (something a lot of us try to do from time to time but often suck at) someone for whatever reason.
Then again, bitchz b craz-e, which is probably what you meant before I rambled :p |
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| soulstar606 |
survivors in the narc abuse community use these terms a lot,
Flying Monkeys : People, including friends, family, coworkers, and their children that the Narcissist has conned into believing that the Narcissist is the victim in whatever situation that they have created, when in fact they are really the perpetrator
Triangulation : Creating some form of drama or chaos, with the Narcissist in the middle, generally involving two rivals, and manipulating them into a conflict with each other. This either done for the entertainment of the Narcissist or as a way to deflect blame/accountability from themselves.
Narcissistic Supply : A term that is used to describe victims, and/or potential victims of a narcissist, as narcissists use them to “supply” their ego with some combination of attention, food, clothing, shelter, sex, admiration, or disdain
Gas Lighting : The term gas lighting is taken from a movie, where the main character’s husband has killed his own aunt to get her jewels, and then erases any link to his former identity, including changing his name. He marries a rich woman, and then attempts to drive her insane by denying and questioning her own sanity once she comes across his former identity. (Click here to watch the full movie version.) Gas lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity, and is a very popular technique among Narcissists
Hoovering : A manipulative technique named after the Hoover vacuum, and used by narcissists to “suck” their victims back into the relationship. Hoovering consists of any attempt to communicate with the victim. It is often done in the form of text messages, phone calls, emails, through mutual friends, family or “accidentally” bumping into the victim. Multiple forms of manipulative messages can be used, from just saying hello, to I love you, or more aggressive or provoking messages such as suicide threats, outright lies, claiming that the victim is harassing the narcissist, etc.
Love Bombing : Phase one of the cycle of Narcissistic Abuse. This stage often involves constant communication and complements, and is designed to lure the victim into (or back into) the relationship
Going "No Contact" : The most ideal, and effective way to get rid of a Narcissist. Narcissists feed their ego with attention and emotional energy from their victims. The only way to get them to get their fixation off of you is to “starve them out” of any attention or reaction. Allowing them contact, or re-opening communication often lands the victim back into the abusive relationship
Silent Treatment : A manipulative and emotionally/psychologically abuse technique where one partner cuts off verbal communication with another for more than a reasonable amount of time where one would need to “cool off”. A Narcissist will often give the silent treatment as a result of a fight with the victim. The silent treatment can range from days to weeks (or longer), and is used to communicate the abuser’s displeasure, disapproval and contempt toward the victim. During this time the victim becomes so uneasy that they are walking on eggshells, and will do just about anything, including forgiving the Narcissist of whatever event triggered the silent treatment to start.
Smear Campaign : Is an attack on the victim’s reputation, character and intent by making false accusation (that are often believed by others
Status Bombing : When a Narcissist repeatedly drops the names of things that are “status-y.” Very similar to name dropping, except the intention is to impress someone with things instead of other people. Example: “I just love skiing in Switzerland. My BMW handles all the mountain driving really well, and I’m soooo glad that I got that new North Face jacket, it was just heavenly.”
Trauma Bonding : A term developed by Patrick Carnes, in which a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, is formed as a result of the cycle of any type of abuse. The victim often continues to seek reassurance and comfort from the abuser, with the mindset of, “She caused pain, and only she can take it away.
Overt Narcissist (also called Grandiose Narcissist) : One of two (unofficial) types of subcategories of Narcissists. These Narcissists are more obvious, and tend to be a “textbook” example of what a narcissist presents like. These people are larger-than-life, arrogant, often loud and boisterous, love to be the center of attention, and often come across as obnoxious to most people. They are the classic “one-upper”, and people tend to either be very impressed by them or turned off completely. They are often very status driven, and self-centered. These people are the perpetual hero. They generally justify their behavior and they are always right. “Enough about you, lets talk about me” and “Yeah, but still” would be their mantras.
Covert Narcissist (also called Vulnerable Narcissist) : One of two (unofficial) types of subcategories of Narcissists. These Narcissists do not come across like a “textbook definition” of a Narcissist. In fact, the often come across like the exact opposite. They tend to be charming, likable, and humble, and a victim who is unfamiliar with the red flags would never see them coming, as they are often very convincing. Most people don’t know what they are dealing with for years, or even decades. My opinion is that these are the most dangerous types of narcissists, because they often fool everyone–including therapists. They (initially) come across as humble, sincere, charming, caring, and are liked by most people. They are the kind of person that goes above and beyond for others, often making it a point to come across as selfless and giving. People tend to like them, however, they often tend to have a lot of strained relationships with family members–many of which they no longer talk to. These people are the perpetual victim, and they use pity to trap their victims. Threats of suicide, addictions, other women throwing themselves at them–all behaviors where others (including the victim) takes pity on them, and hopes that this time they really will change. “Let me hear more about you” and “Look at what they/it made me do” would be their mantras.
Cerebral Narcissist : Cerebral narcissists take great pride in their intellect, and are incredibly convincing. They are master manipulators and are often most visibly seen as the high-ranking, cut-throat CEOs and politicians of the world. The more extreme cases of this have cult followings. They often have advanced degrees, and come across as elitists. They rarely like to associate with anyone that is below their intellect or educational level. These narcissists are not necessarily
Delusional Narcissist : Delusional narcissists are very grandiose in their beliefs and are often full of stories that are so over-the-top that rarely do other people believe them. (Example: Telling someone that you have $10 million dollars in the bank and a jet plane in your backyard, but that you work as a gardener because you like to be outside–oh, and you own the company too. Their delusions tend to be focused around the Military, success/power, religion, and/or having advanced degrees.)
Malignant Narcissist : An (unofficial) term that describes a hybrid of Narcissism that includes characteristics of paranoid, schizoid, and Antisocial Personality Disorder traits.
Somatic Narcissist : Somatic narcissists are very fixated on their body and appearance. They are often very seductive, and are pathological cheaters. To them, sex is a weapon, and a very powerful one at that. They tend to be very status oriented, and are often checking themselves out in the mirror every chance they get. Many of their victims often feel a soul mate connection to them, which is backed up by (amazing) sex |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: |
survivors in the narc abuse community |
:stongue::stongue: you in' losers. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Lol, good spot. Just registered what that means. :stongue: |
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| soulstar606 |
| its ok, sometimes you are in a deep denial phase after you've been the victim of a narc (or may still be right now). no one wants to be a victim.. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by soulstar606
its ok, sometimes you are in a deep denial phase after you've been the victim of a narc (or may still be right now). no one wants to be a victim.. |
Indeed, I guess we need a little courage... and if there's one thing I learned, it is that courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear! |
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| soulstar606 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Indeed, I guess we need a little courage... and if there's one thing I learned, it is that courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear! |
and
Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Uh no , lol. Is that supposed to be profound? |
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