| dj_s_harrison |
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asked.
The man responded, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, "Are we over the border yet?"
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One morning Mr Kay woke up to find out he had a problem eating, so that same day he went to see the doctor. The doctor took a look at him then gave him some cream and mouth wash and said "You must use this six times a day, but you must remember NO EATING OR DRINKIN" Mr Kay replyed "Well how do i eat" the doctor replyed "Try through your arse hole, tell you what... come and see me everyday for the next three day and ill see how you go on. So the next day he goes to the doctors and he says "i feel fine", second day same again "i feel fine", third day is the same but as Mr Kay walks out he has a slight lip, the doctor says "i thought you said you feel fine" he says "Yah i do im just chewing some gum!" |
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