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christmas cheer
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| butterfly |
SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective.
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18)in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night
to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference
Bureau).
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to
108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
west(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child,
Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down
the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the
tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney,
jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for
the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second ---
3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set two pounds), the
sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On
land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount,
the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need
360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the
sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth(the ship, not the monarch).
600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air
resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In
short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a
second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from
a dead stop 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal
forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would
be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly
crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink
goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. |
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| biznology |
engineers...
they just love to suck the fun out of everything|:D |
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| discitelli |
| ha ha ha h ha LMFAO !!!!!!!! THAT WAS FOOKING HILARIOUS!!! Oh man i was serioulsy crying in laughter for that! :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :D :D :D ;) ;) |
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| Tranex02 |
| lo0ol!:p that's a nice way to put it! |
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| AnotherWay83 |
| its a nice way to explain to kids why they didn't get any gifts this christmas :D |
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| TiestoInTheMix |
this is bull.
santa uses a time machine and a chronosphere.
:D |
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| discitelli |
| quote: | Originally posted by butterfly
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. |
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| attacc |
| damn you, you ruined my christmas!! :whip: :mad: :p |
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| stella |
| They seemed to have missed the fact that by tradition you leave a mince pie and glass of sherry for the old chap. After the first hundred houses he'd be pissed as a fart and would die in some kind of drink fly accident. |
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| tranceman78 |
| quote: | Originally posted by stella
They seemed to have missed the fact that by tradition you leave a mince pie and glass of sherry for the old chap. After the first hundred houses he'd be pissed as a fart and would die in some kind of drink fly accident. |
man, we just leave him milk and cookies over here. Maybe it's to sober his ass up after you guys get him drunk. |
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| SportTrance |
That was good, I enjoyed it. :)
However, its best just to say, its "magic". Unfortunately atheistic/scientific beliefs are destorying kids' dreams and fantasies all over the world.
You know, because there being more than just what we see, hear and touch, would be too far fetched, frightening, and unexplainable for the shallow minds of those who only know and believe what science tells them. :eek: |
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| BTG |
rotflmao..
thats fukin funny
gonna email it to everyone i know (cept for ta's) |
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