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I just don't know what to do anymore...
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| Mosaic |
Seriously I don't.
I am 16, living at home. I work part-time at local grocery store (Loblaws if you must know), I have school, I do co-op (course where you get to spend half the day out in the workplace... I'm at ISP), I do community service for school (need 40 hours to graduate) and because I'm such a nice guy, plus I have 6 younger brothers and sisters. So, I'm busy as hell right now. We used to live in Toronto, but we're now living in small rural town 2 hours north.
Ever since we moved from Toronto, we've had money trouble. Mostly because we were somewhat forced to move as the company my dad was Chief Technical Officer for was going under.
The whole money problem thing has gone up and down the last 3 years. Some months we had plenty of $$, other times, we'd be down to our last $50. My dad has been doing contract programming for start-up companies in California, and he does this from home. A lot of these companies go under and don't pay up, which in turn s us up the ass. I don't know how the my dad is able to believe that he can do this kind of stuff from home and support a family of NINE. I keep telling him about jobs in town with STEADY paychecks, but he never does anything about them.
Over the last few months, the money thing has gotten really bad. A few months back I lent my parents $300 for groceries. They said I would get the $$ back a few days later, and that the money stuff would get straightened out. Well, 3 months later, I haven't seen a dime, and they've borrowed nearly $2000.
And now its Xmas, and they've got no $$. I don't give a about presents. I'd be happy just getting socks. I think my siblings will be somewhat shocked, being that a few of them are spoiled little brats. But, I don't care about that either. Its just my mom is being really paranoid about money, and my dad is falling apart. I have to give credit to my mom, because she looks after kids all day, and went out and got a job to try and help more financially. My dad on the other hand has fallen into deep depression, he hides away in his office pretending to be working, he sleeps a lot, and he seems to be on the edge all the time.
For 5 solid months all I've heard is how things are "looking up", but things keep getting worse, and a fight between my parents a few minutes ago was a harsh reminder of that for me. I just don't know what to do. With the amount of $$ I've been dishing out, I think I would be helping enough, but things aren't getting any better. My dad is 50, and we don't have a penny in savings or retirement or anything. How the is he supposed to retire one day? They also have another 16 years of child raising to do! I want to move out after high school, but even if I have the $$ to do that, will they have the money to support themselves?
I just don't ing know. I feel so frustrated, being that I don't know what will make them get their together. Do I just tell them I'm not giving them anymore cash? Do I just be openly honest with my dad, and tell him to get his together (Even though I am scared as to how he would respond to that).
I seriously need some help, because I am feeling lost and confused. Trance is my only escape. |
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| a-aplz |
| Hmm I'm in the same position man. I can't offer any help because I'm dealing with literally everything you mentioned. :/ |
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| Mosaic |
| quote: | Originally posted by a-aplz
Hmm I'm in the same position man. I can't offer any help because I'm dealing with literally everything you mentioned. :/ |
why the does it take so much work to be happy?
seriously, our whole society needs some changes.the whole work-your-ass-off-so-your-family-can-eat thing sucks |
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| Carona |
| Try to keep your family happy and posistive as tough as it may be in this situation. I'm not to sure what you should do about their financial sitiuation but the part about talking to your dad, speak openly to him. Tell him that you don't like seeing him the way he is. It's tough to have the courage but after 5 months of this stuff going on I think you need to give him some encouragement and hopefully he'll respond. I really don't know what to say but good luck and i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. |
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| JohnSmith |
dudes... that sucks.
all i can say is, keep your chin up, things get better someday with hope.
also, not that this really makes your situation any better, but millions if not billions of people around the world have it worse off than you do. |
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| a-aplz |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mosaic
why the does it take so much work to be happy?
seriously, our whole society needs some changes.the whole work-your-ass-off-so-your-family-can-eat thing sucks |
word :/ |
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| Endlesswave |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mosaic
why the does it take so much work to be happy?
seriously, our whole society needs some changes.the whole work-your-ass-off-so-your-family-can-eat thing sucks |
Same with my family, they had to declare partial bankruptcy. :( This society sucks period in terms of making a living because it's all about the $ Greed. |
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| Mosaic |
yeah... people say money isn't everything...
but in this society, IT IS.
time for some changes |
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| dJohn |
Hey man. I used to be in your same position as well. My dad, mom and my sister and I used to live borrowing money from family members and neighboors, and each month our dues would rack up. My dad is a private pilot instructor, which means, like your dad, only gets paid by the client. Its big money, but hard money. Alot of conditions and cicrumstances affect our income, most of it out of our reach like weather, seasons, economy...receiving a private pilot license in Korea isn't something everybody can afford. To be bluntly honest, only the middle-upper class are able to CONSIDER trying it. At one time, we had no income for 3 months...I will never forget trying to pry my baby sister's piggy bank open so I could go to the bank, convert the money into Korean currency, and lend my dad money so he could by his smokes(he was smoking at the time)
Anyways, my point is, that every family....EVERY family goes through SOME kinda of financial troubles at one point in their cycle of being a family. Sadly, this is the reason many families in our society break down and fall apart. Money and divorce- two things essential, yet not essential to each other to break something up that is so essential in our society.
Keep your head up. Most importantly, help your dad out. I know your mom is going through alot, but imagine your mom flipping out too and going into a 'deep depression'. Your dad isn't making it any better by ignoring the problem. If anything, you need to step up and do something.
Best of luck dude. I really, honestly hope everything works out for you. I can't stand seeing families and fellow acquaintances go through they don't need to go through-anybody for that matter. Keep us, or at least me updated on what happens. I'm gonna be checking this board more frequently now cuz of this.
I know it's not gonna be, but Happy Holidays. |
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| Arbiter |
1. Don't give them any money.
2. Say as little as possible to your father, he'd probably resent it even if you gave him good advice.
3. Get the hell out of there as soon as possible.
4. Dumonde - Never Look Back
Your parents should never have reproduced so far beyond their means, and your father seems either incapable or uninterested in doing what it takes to make enough money to get by. It may seem harsh, but it's never too soon to abandon a sinking ship. |
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| trancendental |
Time for a marxist revolution! :P jk
Um.. What can I say that may be of help?
1. Stay strong and supportive for your parents. Tell your dad that he hasn't lost your respect (every man needs his pride stroke, once in awhile) that you see the courage in him to support his family. (takes balls to raise a functional family in this day and age) That way he still knows there is something to live and hope is still ticking, also that his family is still w/ him thick and thin.
2. In times of troubles, darkness and gloom, there is opportunity! It's not as evil as it sounds. Being optimistic helps. If you haven't given up you are still in the fight :) That means a chance to still come on top. Take advantage of what is being learned. Revise your stratagem if needed. Remember what has been taught and use it as a personal building block. Hey better learn now while you're young than 40 years down the road.
3. Understand there is boom and bust periods. Ultimately this will settle down to equilibrium. Question will you still (want to) be around when the dust settles (armeggedon, human haulocust and the end of age are excluded ) :toothless Reinforce yourself that you will survive through it.
4. It is an excellent opportunity to harness and develop your talent. Find out what you want to do or like to do. This will develope your skills, personal confidence and will maintain your sanity. (Trance music? + DJing? = $$$$ + :):):):) ?) Eventually not only you find something that you are passionate about, expert in, but who knows maybe you can make a great living off it.
5. Seek help. Talk about it. There is always people willing to help (and those who don't, but ignore them they just watse your time) We live in a Canada for crying out loud. Perhaps seeking financial support until the water calms down again. You're not abusing the system so there :toocool:
You are only 16, sh!t I die again just to live that age once more. Still young still strong. Times of great trials will definitely mature you beyond your peers. You will rise above the occasion ;) Few things matters. Continue learning, staying strong and true to yourself and those who matters around you. Yes only 16 don't forget to have fun too. |
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| InfiniteSquare |
smoke a jay and chill
it will be alright
trust me there is alot worse man |
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