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Jokes part 121
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| jploveparade |
A traveling salesman was driving down a country road one day and saw a
farmhouse. He says to himself, "That looks like a good place to peddle
my pots and pans.
He pulls up in the driveway and goes up to the front door and knocks.
After waiting for what seems a reasonable amount of time he knocks
again. Still no answer. As he starts to leave he notices a little boy
playing in the back yard.
"Little boy. Is your mother home?", shouts the salesman.
The little boy nodds in a beckoning fashion so the salesman follows
him around the house and when he steps up on the back porch he notices
through the window that the little boys mother is in a back room
getting it on with a billy goat.
The salesman says, "Little boy, do you know what your mother is doing
in there?" The little boys nodds again.
"That doesn't bother you!" says the salesman in dismay.
The little boy says, "Na a a a a ah."
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There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at
their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside,
and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but
whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed,
had the coldest igloo.
They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and
poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air
and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad" said the other Eskimos, but
each maintained their igloo was colder still.
So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!"
and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a
big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!"said
the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still.
So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!"
and went into the bedroom, looked under three huge back thick furs,
and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took one of
the small balls of ice and put it in a spoon, and held a match under
it. When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".
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In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was
waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt
with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the
height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a
quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her
skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise
her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to
discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and
unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the
step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg
because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver
she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and
again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked
her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the
bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching
at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you
but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was
friends."
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Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about
dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of
strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and his
wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The
aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if
they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer Brown and his
wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left.
Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he
couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what
happened?
She replied, It was the best sex I ever had!
Why? asked Farmer Brown.
Well when he took off his pants it wasn'r but an inch long and as big
around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and
it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as
big around as a sausage.
Farmer Brown said, Well , no wonder that bitch was trying to rip
my ears off!!
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There was a father and his little boy that went into a local drug
store to pick up a prescription. While in the store the little boy was
looking around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The
little boy looked at all the brightly colored packages and the
different types and the different quantities.
The little boy went to his father and asked "Daddy, what are these
condoms?"
The father, stuttered, and said "Well, they are for protection from
diseases when a man and a woman make love."
The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then
asked "Then, why do these come in a package of three?"
The father coyly answered "Those are for young men in high school. One
for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday
afternoon."
"UH-HUH" said the little boy, "then why are these in packages of six?"
The father smirked "Those are for young men in college. There are two
for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday
afternoon."
"WOW" said the little boy in amazement. He then asked "Well, then why
are these packaged a dozen at a time?"
The father answered "Those, my son, are for married men. One for
January, one for February..." |
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| kewlness |
| aha the second one was funny :D |
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| assassin8 |
| the last one is the funniest |
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| Xo|oX |
LOL!
hahaha the last one is classssssssssss! |
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| blazed it |
yep the last one is definitely the best of the bunch...
i loooove it, so funny.
keep up good work jp :p |
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