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Love is only true in fairytales
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| Aabech |
Good evening. I have just read djslain's post about his foregone depression, so I felt like sharing some experiences I have had. One thing differs here: I do not have the sollution to my problem. I know my situation is not half as bad as a person having a depression, but then again things will not get any better continuing going this way. Enough with this, and on to the story.
The year was 2001. At 16 years, I was a normal boy, going to school, playing a little computer, watching TV and so on. I have never had a girlfriend, but that was not a thing I was concerned about. Some friends at school told me about a cafe, where they came often. I started comming there too. At around the same time, the clan that I was member of got a new member. She knew people at the cafe too, and started comming there. Of course I said hello her, and talked a little with her, but the fact that she was 22, made her nothing more than a friend in my eyes.
A month or two later, she asked me to come home to here and eat dinner. Sure, she was nice and sweet, so I accepted the invitation. We ate, wacthed a movie and met a couple of her friends. During the evening we laughed and talked a lot, and when was time to sleep, I whispered to her, that if just I have been older, I was sure that we could have been more than friends. Then we started kissing. The next morning I was not a virgin anymore.
For 1 month we were together, keeping it secret though, as she did not approve going official with a 6-year-old younger boy. We broke up because I could not keep the secret, but even after then, the feelings still were there.
She has had 4 relationchips since then, I zero. She has kissed me and even tryed to go further a few times since we broke up, but I could not do it, knowing she not was interested in a serious relationschip. Even now and then I drop a tear when I see her beatiful face, or think of her.
Thus being 13 months since we split up, I think about her constantly. My nearest friends, whom know about all this tell me to drop her, to let her go. But that I can not do, even if I try. Living in selfdenial just make me hunger more for her.
I actually started interesting in trancemusic around the time we split up, because I found it a way of simply drifting away from my problems, away from everything...
This is where the story ends, I'm not sure why I post this, but I have an idea that it helps to share with somebody.
Keep it up :) |
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| Maaz |
Nice of you to share this story... despite of its sadness, I find it quite beautiful. Although you guys are not together anymore, you shared a very special moment, and in the future, after you heal your wounds, you'll realise that life is made of special chapters that may not end the way we wanted them to, but that, no matter what, these moments are worth living :)
Remember: You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow ;) |
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| AnotherWay83 |
lol...trust me, there are ppl. out there in MUCH worse situations...
this is funny...do u realize how many 16 yr. olds out there would DIE to a 22 yr old chic...i know i would...even tho im 19....btw, was she hot? got any pix? :D
imagine the bragging rites u have...not to mention experience...u must also look pretty good for an older woman to actually sleep with you!
i understand, that since this is a new experience for you, its a bit tuff, but hey, guess what - life's a bitch! nothing u can do abt it
i say, forget abt her, and go enjoy life...if she wants to use you for sex...thats even better! but just be careful (u dont wanna be a dad at 17, do u?)...always remember, everything is an illusion...nothings really real. what u feel and think is ENTIRELY upto you...so go out and enjoy :D |
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| bassaholix |
| quote: | | Love is only true in fairytales |
Hell no dood.. love is only love when each party has the same feelings for one another... if the love ain't there for both then its not love...
In ur case its infatuanion or crush type of love... and she was the first person you had sex with makes it even more so, you may think you love her... but in fact you're not in love... love takes time to establish.. its like trust.. you can't love someone in under a month...
You might hate me for saying it.. but think about it...
Trance is a good way of escaping reality.. but make sure you aren't escaping it for the wrong reasons, try and learn from this experience...
Don't stay @ home and like that.. that just makes it worst... you have to go out and live life... |
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| bass drive |
oh man I am jealous. you should be pround of that experience.
I think you feel this way b/c she was your first love. you'll get over her as soon as you find a new one
i had a chance to sleep with an older 28 yrs lady (HOTTTTTTTTTTT) but I didn't and acted like a chicken instead :(
i am 20 |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by bass drive
I think you feel this way b/c she was your first love. you'll get over her as soon as you find a new one
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possibly, but i doubt you'll ever forget her.
| quote: | Originally posted by AnotherWay83
lol...trust me, there are ppl. out there in MUCH worse situations...
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please, allow me to bash you here for a second. no matter how bad the situation is, there will ALWAYS be a situation worse than that. so, personally, i stopped saying that phrase because it's quite pointless. some people may not understand what Aabech feels, therefore to them the situation might not look so sad/depressing/whatever. but everybody needs help, no matter how painful or not the situation is. we can't just tell people "bah, wtf, there are worse situations, stop whining" or something like that.
| quote: | Originally posted by bassaholix
Hell no dood.. love is only love when each party has the same feelings for one another... if the love ain't there for both then its not love...
In ur case its infatuanion or crush type of love... and she was the first person you had sex with makes it even more so, you may think you love her... but in fact you're not in love... love takes time to establish.. its like trust.. you can't love someone in under a month...
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i really disagree. sure, he may feel something towards her simply because of their physical relations, but who's to give the definition of love? why are you so sure that love can't be one-sided? IMO, love does exist in a one-sided way and that type of love is rather sad and hurtful.
i can't love someone in under a month? i REALLY disagree. am i supposed to run around the person for years, waiting to fall in love with them? sure, sometimes long-term friends fall in love, but i see it only as their late realization of the subconscious feeling that's been there since the beginning. of course, some may tell me it's just an illusion, but i choose to believe differently. remember, though, the original feeling of love is not eternal. it evolves with time, and later, long-term relationships are built not simply on love, but on trust, support, and all those other things i can't think of right now.
remember, time really is the healer. that phrase really works. it'll get better, trust me. and to add a cheesy quote, "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" |
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| Mystoz |
| quote: | Originally posted by AnotherWay83
this is funny...do u realize how many 16 yr. olds out there would DIE to a 22 yr old chic...i know i would...even tho im 19....btw, was she hot? got any pix? :D
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agree to that i would not say no! |
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| Maaz |
| quote: | Originally posted by whiskers
possibly, but i doubt you'll ever forget her.
please, allow me to bash you here for a second. no matter how bad the situation is, there will ALWAYS be a situation worse than that. so, personally, i stopped saying that phrase because it's quite pointless. some people may not understand what Aabech feels, therefore to them the situation might not look so sad/depressing/whatever. but everybody needs help, no matter how painful or not the situation is. we can't just tell people "bah, wtf, there are worse situations, stop whining" or something like that.
i really disagree. sure, he may feel something towards her simply because of their physical relations, but who's to give the definition of love? why are you so sure that love can't be one-sided? IMO, love does exist in a one-sided way and that type of love is rather sad and hurtful.
i can't love someone in under a month? i REALLY disagree. am i supposed to run around the person for years, waiting to fall in love with them? sure, sometimes long-term friends fall in love, but i see it only as their late realization of the subconscious feeling that's been there since the beginning. of course, some may tell me it's just an illusion, but i choose to believe differently. remember, though, the original feeling of love is not eternal. it evolves with time, and later, long-term relationships are built not simply on love, but on trust, support, and all those other things i can't think of right now. |
One of the deepest things I've ever heard here on TA :) |
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| Aabech |
Hi there.
Thank for your opinions, especially yours whiskers. Glad to see someone could give me a little bit of advice ;)
Nice quote btw, I will try to stick to it.. |
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| biznology |
well ive never really been in that exact situation, but ive known people in similar ones. love may only be true in fairy tales - IF youre looking for fairy tale love.
esp when youre young and a bit shy to the world maybe you can get blinded. people become to you what maybe they actually arent. if you had to keep the relationship a secret, then it really wasnt a relationship to being with. sadly, she was just probably looking for some young meat to hook up with, which may have deeper seeded issues than your personal pain. again, it may mean nothing. but overall, looking at your story youve answered your own question. go through the steps you took as a 16yr old again, meet new people. you would be surprised. some guys seem to think that theyve met the perfect person for them already without looking around. the truth is tho, most people guys and girls dont know what the they want, you have to get out, meet people, and try try again. go to a new cafe, talk to a girl thats completely unlike your first...you may even surprise yourself| |
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| Eugene |
There is no such thing as "love"
Ask any psychologist, they will tell you that "love" is a made-up concept that doesn't exist.
Some of the things that *do* exist are: sexual needs, physical beauty, the desire not to be lonely in life, the desire to have someone you can count on, etc.
I've been in a situation similar to yours. When I was 18 I totally, passionately fell in love with a girl who was 2 yrs older (20). I couldn't stop thinking about her... and although nothing sexual happened between us, the whole thing was a source of grim depression for me... |
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| biznology |
| quote: | Originally posted by Eugene
There is no such thing as "love"
Ask any psychologist, they will tell you that "love" is a made-up concept that doesn't exist.
Some of the things that *do* exist are: sexual needs, physical beauty, the desire not to be lonely in life, the desire to have someone you can count on, etc. |
thats true. its a made up concoction that actually only became pervasive in the 17th century or something...i think. dont ask me for a source, but tis true cause i said so.
but seriously it is| |
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